MODERN VERSIONS

Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 53, Issue 3823, 19 October 1936, Page 3

MODERN VERSIONS

THE PRINCESS WHO KICKED. PUTTING PEP INTO THE FAIRY TALE. Do the children of to-day read fairy tales? It is doubtful—the boys want stories about adventures in the air, and girls are solid for Shirley Temple. Still, something should be done to jazz up the old themes of Grimm and Anderson something like this, perhaps. Or perhaps not. Once upon a time there was a handsome prince who was riding through a wood on the borders of his father’s kingdom when he encountered a witch, who was on her way to the annual dinner of the Dragon Acclimatisation Society. The witch had just invested in a “perm,” and had her eyebrows plucked, as was the custom in those primitive days, and the naive young man, with a shout of laughter, askfed her to veil her charms lest they be too much for the dragons. Much enraged, without a moment’s warning she changed the rash fellow into a fine Berkshire boar, and set upon him a spell that he should not regain, (his natural shape until he had been kicked by a princess. This having been done, they parted, the prince to seek acorns in the depth of the wood, and the witch to arrive a little late at the dinner, where having missed the baselislq soup, she greatly enjoyed two helpings of roast gryphon. As for the Prince, he rooted in the undergrowth happily enough, until he was found by the King’s swineherd, who took him home in fine glee, and gave him a most comfortable sty to sleep in, and a well-filled trough of his own. Npw it was not long before the witch took her broomstick one moonlight night and flew on a visit to a rather dashing wizard in a neighbouring kingdom, with whom she had an engagement dating from the previous Walpurgis night, and since she was a bit of a gossip, it was not long before she had told him all about the bewitched Prince. It so happened that the King of the wizard’s country had a daughter, who was so ill-favoured, and of such a sorry disposition, that she had never found a suitor, since all the Royal youths around were agreed that half, or even two-thirds, of a kingdom would be insufficient dowry for such a woman. To the King came the wizard in haste. “Your Majesty,” he cried, “here is such a chance to wed the Princess Hepzibah as may well never recur. Let her find this Prince, whose rash act may well lead to a rasher. Let her break the spell with a well-placed kick, which asuredly her number nines are well witted to bestow, and in sheer gratitude and courtesy he will be bound to as for her hand.” The King rewarded the faithful wizard, and hurried to tell the good news to his daughter. From that day the Princess Hepzibah travelled far and wide on her romantic quest unaccompanied except by feature writers from all the papers and the photographers for the news reels. Before long she had become the undisputed champion woman pig kicker of the country, and there was some talk of sending her to the next Olympic Games. She kicked pigs of every shape, and size,, black ones, pink ones and spotted ones, and some of the pink ones were spotted too, when she had done with them. Not one turned into a handsome prince, although the baeon that year was noticeably more streaky than usual. At last, disappointed and weary, she went for a week-end holiday to a neighbouring court. It chanced that after breakfast she was walking in the woods, and reflecting how much she disliked ham and eggs, when suddenly a large pig broke from the bushes, in such a hurry to reach a grove of oak trees that he almost upset the Princess Hepzibah. The Princess turned in a fine rage < t this discourtesy and administered to the rear of the disappearing pig a kick which put her well into the world championship class, such a kick as transcended all the kicks she had booted pigs with in the last eighteen months. Instantly she knew that her quest was ended, but, alas, the handsome young man who rose to his feet from the spot to which the pig had- been ■hurled never even looked back at the Princess Hepzibah, but, clapping both his hands to his hinder part, he fled howling through the forest, and rushing to the nearest port, took ship overseas, and was never seen again. As for the Princess Hepzibah, she renounced marriage from that day, and found her vocation demonstrating football boots in a sports store.