Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 22510, 19 February 1935, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. —Hudibras.

Christmas in Russia was celebrated in spite of Bolshevik frowns, and the order forbidding Christmas trees “in order to protect Russia’s forests.” Russia only has about one-third of the world’s standing forest.

In Germany General Goering entertained 500 children in a suburb of Berlin. Dr. Goebbels was not outdone—he entertained 3000 children in another suburb.

There are now rumours that there is bootleg butter in U.S.A. This, of course, is evidence that customs duties break down the moral fibre of the community. * * » »

As a protest because they have been cut out of the Duke of Gloucester’s programme as a result of the Australia’s delays, people in Bermuda and the Bahamas will not tune in on the National hook-up when Seth Parker is broadcasting. » * » »

In Victoria they appear to have made the mistake of opening the season for duck and duck shooters simultaneously. ♦ ♦ * ♦

They have a new process for the production of unshrinkable wool: but what we really need is unshrinkable incomes. When a man charges another with some mean, petty act, it is often an indication of the size and quality of his own mind. « * Who’ll remember David’s words After thev have gone hence ?— Many sounds and much abuse And such a lot of nonsense. SOUTHLAND LIMERICKS. A telegraphist living at Gg., Whenever he slept used to SNg., And, though it was irking, To make sure he was wirking To boss just kept open the Dg. ♦ * * * FOR A NEW DICTIONARY. Disarmament: The idea that the man who has no gun never loses his temper. * * * * There may be a Supreme Court action over this Supreme Court action in Australia. When a cook applies for a job, samples are more important than testimonials.

One of these days a world conference will decide that the best way to deal with an economic crisis is to let it peter out without interference; but, of course, no one will take any notice of that finding and when the next crisis comes along everyone will rush round working to cure it. In fact, the Douglas scheme is sure to pop up, perhaps under a new name.

I wonder if those people who say we do not need a new post office would cancel the order for it if they could.

What we really want, however, is better pens.

A bill collector has no occupation. Right; his is a pursuit.

In 300 years no one has been able to improve on the violin; neither has the girl next door in three months.

Parents now can insist on the child helping with the jig-saw puzzle before they help with the homework.

My son, if you would achieve success Your powers use to the best. Just see you make the right woman wife, And she will see to the rest.

THE INNOCENTS. She thought a hair restorer traced next of kin. •