Helpmates.

Southland Times, Issue 8040, 22 June 1885, Page 4

Helpmates.

By Madams BLIBB, - « What i* tne wo^^heittf Iti pompa, ita pleirtairefV*" 1 * its nonsense .Who in, each other clasp wnatever lair, "" .la^^-liear^ ..can-' i ■■■■ ■ ■• : .'r> ■■:- ■""■'•' '>" -,:•■-' 'itooiK^M^iO'™^*^^^ 'Truth, goodnwi, honor, Jhwinohyi wid lpye : :^-.v.::!: r oan trace-/:-' -:>,,,:■ :.':.... ThoTichestbouuty of indulgent Heaven." niarriage state did so with the fixed idea that they are.rto be helpmates in every sense of the word,- Bhatingiociot only life's joys and Bonowt bnt also ita bosineas. iThflt is to say, *yife^Bhojrid-undeM]land-«ao^^^ band's position in bneineM. I- fancy I bear some hmband *«ayp* What does womau ''WplTi»^nt'»nßin^;.why.::b^ther-;her-'with^ what she cannottSomprehend ? sh.e has enough to do to attend ,to her aim ?&ms.\ , Ah, my friend, there yo^i make the gravest mistake in doubting her capability, and poisibly her trurtw[oiUiine;i.,r The • ftffectipn ; and trust that ■skouldbe-the corner-stone of eyery^ mar-; riagewill not be sullied :by a .disonssipn of ways and means. The time has happilypassed when the whole lesponsibility and authority of peenniary matters was thought to be vested in the husband. : The wifa who fulfils her duties at homo BS i, truly earns her ■hare of as the man who f nlfila, h&Vduties abroad, and bears unequal demse on eithersidejor^any sense of inequality ia disastronsHibibotb.s i ;"v7; : V The -duties are ordinarily aa distinct as tHbse of two'partnersin aty other coipiartner-; ahipfuhd'a^ equal; ' • The husband earns' the mbney f 6* l? the houseHoidi the wife disburses it for.thejhousehold. ?er task^ ou the-ayef--Bgets as hard' as his, equally trying" to mind and body; nay, a portion of it is so especially-; hard«.that.iji;iß idistin&uished from, all others • by the name • labor.'.r = -- \ - -lhen'.agaiu, though 1 the wife maynot absa-/ ■lutelyefitnmoniey,'Bhe can saveand economise; aiid'the oldadage still holds gooii, 'A penny fe-.-jaT^d?-^ 1 "^ penny .earned. 1 : . Wealth -i 3 not "^ acquired ' by 'fortunate specalations and splendid^-enterprise, but i by the .daily practice of industry, jrugality, and ecdnomy. •XherefoTe l .it.is,.to the husbandls advaniage that his wifeishbuld have a'ful! ibsight ibtb lug.busmess^matt^Sjttatshs may know when and how money-can bfe.eparcd'. ■ i .^. ■:■■:,-, .- McAdmire a man who boldly asserts, 'my wife*knttws just -about as much of my business relations as I domyeelf, and Iconsalb* her in eyeiyth^glex^ept the, technicalities of my iaradei.'^ There is' sound' wisdom^ in such procedM«^for t ßoman's •brain and'womnn's Z_ wit Awkye often hwp^ed^aieho'ut 'ot^ serious dilfi-cnitia^-moneiiiy. and "otherwise. And who can BayJthStf.ttie indirect aid of sympathy and encouragement does not- do as much in the -••# Dattle- offllfe as more direct co-operation ? l !BherehaT.e;b,een great men in all ages, whoße cafeef ."did i no'ti'to all appearance| depend upon ihe^inffaeince '■ b£ "their wives, bat who *Bank'at%nw rlAia « tbtelly iflifferent position v?. when'depnyedbjr d^t^of their faithfal helpr As a wife and mother, woman can make the happinees.of ,'home ; by her cheerfulness she can restore he* husband's spirits when gfr*±t*n\%y Lbe- anxietiea of bosincEß -;~ by her tender^car^. she can. pften reatotQ-him. to healthif'otei'iakenby diaeise. jsshe thea not .a true.helpmatev and worthy of all confldehceieyen'to'the/handling of your sacred bankbook^:/: . J,. t J^-:.! '/ A ' '■■'■ ' Xes, the true way, to' treat your wife is r first to tell her 'how yon^stand ; «how her your balanqe.B^eet^s letf her look "over the items, You' think' it will hurt her feelings to find that you are not so prosperous as she thought. • Ngthing.jOf the .kind ; it won't do any such thing, Od'^the contrary- the f confidence will but niaJce ( ter brave, brace in p her spirit to bear any r amoanfc of Tadveisity, and give her energy-to^lelp you in nolooked for ways. ' Wby, she.-has had her suspicions already, and guessed that money was not so plentiful. If shehad b'uJr known Before that you were living* hybrid iyonr income, she could have 'done so many things. That' new 'carpet need' not have been bought It was 'only^a fancy baying that pretfy dessert ser--race, and ao to dotbeaj welJj ebo boa pleaty •to 'ltet'ii -iong-Hsmtf aud not look shabby either. Last year's tonnefr will do splendidly 'witH sometreeh strings ; shapes don't alter ■xanchin one seasOD. She quite forgets: that the other day she declared that that same looked quite- dowdy beside MrsiSo.andiSo>.'' ; S6 much for taking your wife into 'partnership^" You' have made her.feel that * She is adorned amply— that in her hus"l»hd's'eye36okß lovely— the truest mirror -aa honeet wiie cau see her beauty in,' " Ab lODg as a woman is kept in ignorance "of her husband* true financial condition she imagines jast as children d^, that money, thonglf sometimes hard to' get, is ineshaustible, and you cannot blame her for tuch a - fcfllief I'• "The error-lies in not dealing openly 'with her in the first place, aa if ahe had an ' -Interest— which she undoubtedly has— in the regulating the money matters of the business J aa' well- as of the home. ' Another matter of vital importance to domestic happiness. l should like to mention, for it bears upon the question of helpmates. •Some men^there are, and many too, who aie •'lavif h ;in /expenditure, who seemingly care '■very little now the money goep, providing it , ia spent in the honse, or rather providing the -.bills. ate paid by themselvefe, yet who haye so ■ little regard to their wives' claicn to partner* 'Bhip'that they will meanly allow the house--mother to ; ofik hnmbly for the money for private expenses, which is her absolute due. ";I ira^pOTiß;few men can understand how ia I'a seiißitive. woman shrinks from asking for ;sioneyt'-'.' .'.,"■', ' '. - - .• ' ~;M;tnmk-. thai every wife should have a cer« tain sum, small or great.Jpaid toheratiegu.'lar intervals for her own special use; if she '^does her duty as wife and mother, she has a ri^ht to a sbare of the joint income, ; withfii ; ieas6Dable limits; for certainly no irioaey' cou?d buy the service she freely renv. derstohomeand husband. . .;.", ! ..'fio ".'far from csausing extravagance, an allowance actually raises a desire to save in the hearts of most. women ..; the possession of money actually checks the desire to spend; the more power a woman has over the in-i ' come/ the stronger becomes the wish to in--Crease it/.?' Besides, if there is a possibilityof putting by a little from an allowance — aud such' a 'possibility genefflllv coas occur t» a thrifty soul-rit-is done, and by slow degrees a coasiderable Win is! accumulated ; and how happy .is the owner when, some day perhaps . an emergency arises, and that very sum so! carefnily saved becomes of inestimable me to husband or child, a rich reward for fiu- - gality and aelf -denial. 1 wonder if it ever occurs to parson or "biidegroom^jduring the marriage ceremony what.a trem.endoas falsehood is told in the ■ U^rance [of 'the words, ' With all my worldly , gdods'l/thee todjw! As a matter of fact not one woman ma. hundred is placed in possession, of half her. h.nsband's goo Is. Amcr.ca.do2B the law.recogniss.perfect co-partnershiri bat ween man and wife. There, when a couple a»e divorced, the whole of the property, is equally divided between; them, even should they have lived together; bnt a »hort/ time,, and though the msn may| have had everything and ibe'nb'mat nothiogj ..when r - the/ married. ,7hia ii carrying tbe' :"piiQciplotp extremes wi ha vengeance., „ v In a moral ssnse, weak troman can be the stronger helpmate of the two ; by leading in; a l l things a true aud beautiful life 5 she can* refine,' elevate' arid spirituili^e' her husband.; By her counjel.and love, she can mould hisi children into 'noble meri and good womeD,' .fitting them to be in their turn the helpmates^ :ofthe;fature;--N.Z. Waij; ; , : •