MRS DR SHERLOCK HOLMES.

Southern Cross, Volume 3, Issue 2, 13 April 1895, Page 7

MRS DR SHERLOCK HOLMES.

All of a sudden she turned to the man in the tramcar on her left, and said —

‘ You were putting down an ingrain carpet at your house this morning. Don’t attempt to deny it, for I have the most conclusive evidence.’

‘How do you know P’ he stammered, in surprise. ‘ There is lint on your knees, sir, showing the kind of carpet, and your thumb is done up in a rag to prove that you hit it with a hammer. You have a bunion on your left foot. Deny it at your peril!’ ‘ Yes ; I have a bunion, but ’ ‘ I knew it, because you cannot keep that foot still, while now and then you utter a cuss word below your breath. You are living with your second wife. Admit the truth of what I say, or take the consequences. ‘ How on earth can you tell that ?’ he asked, as be began to turn pale round the'mouth.

• By the hairs and dandruff on your coao. Your first wife always brushed you before you went out. Now, sir, you have a small child at home.’ ‘Yes, a boy three years old, but— ’ ‘ 1 knew it, because he shoved that jumping-jack into your pocket while you were playing with him just before you came out. You are also an absent-minded man. Denial will be useless, and may get you into serious trouble.’ ‘l—l—’

If you were not an absent-minded man you would not have pocketed that table-napkin for a handkerchief, nor come out with your old hat on. While your first wife has (been dead for several years, you have not yet placed a tombstone at her grave. Don’t try to bluff me, sir.’ :

‘ You are right, but —’ ‘ Of course I am. When we passed that marble shop you gave one look

at the tombstones, and placed your hand: oh ;Tour'jppreßent wifeis not domestic.’ , vN"o, she is not '; but’ how on ! earth, can you tell ?’ - ‘ The moths have eaten your coat, there are two buttons Off yottr|vest, and from the way you wriggle' 1 that right foot I am sure you have holes, in your stockings. Think not to deceive me.’ ’ ■ • ■ i ‘ Great lands, woman !’ he gasped, as the perspiration stood out bn his forehead, ‘ but.you,.must be—’ ‘ Mrs Dr: Sherlock Holmes, sir,: she finished. ‘ I have to get out here to solve a mystery in a butcher’s shop. Blood has been found on a cleaver, the butcher’s wife has got a new sealskin jacket, and the errand boy has got a boil on his leg. ’Sdeath! I will unravel the whole affair in five minutes, and spot the murderer! Good day, old man. By the way don’t use sandpaper on your celluloid collar, as it leaves scratches !’—Selected.