ROBERT’S TIP.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 24, Issue 17, 4 March 1913, Page 6

ROBERT’S TIP.

Hb had made a hearty meal at a ti* taurant, and getting up, he said to tM waiter: " I declare if I haven’t forgotten my purse/' The waiter fired up, and hurled bis words at him for full three minutes before pausing for breath. When a chance came the stranger continued —“But I have half-a-sov. here in my waistcoat pocket. The waiter couldn't smile to save his life. HE OBJECTED TO THE RENT. A lawyer made out a bill to a client wht was a bit of a wag in his way , most of the items were for trifling services, and covered several sheets of foolscap. The client went to settle with the man ol law, and stood at the door with the request that he would receipt it. . " Please come in," said the lawyer, in hi? most cordial tones. " Not much," replied his client; “ you’o charge me rent if I did." FREE OPERA GLASSES. A pair of opera glasses will, this year, bt attached to every seat in all the theatres of Warsaw, Russia. Every glass will be fastened with a chain to the chair. No money wo, be needed to cause the lever to slide vnde. The contract for furnishing all the required glasses has been awarded to a German manufacturer, who will charge nothing for them, and will present them to the various theatres in 1902, provided that till then he receives 3 cents on every theatre ticket sold in the Warsaw theatres The managers of the Warsaw theatres think ihcy can afford to pay this royally.

"QUICK MARCH!" A preacher was addressing an out-doot crowd in file city, when a drunken soldier came up and ridiculed the service. Finding it was useless to ignore the man, the preacher said : " Ah, my friend, you arc nr. soldier; you have only borrowed those clothes 1 No servant o£ the Queen would get. drunk and interrupt a peaceful service." The man protested that he was a soldier and invited the minister to test him. "Very well," was the reply, “I will Now, attention !” T his the soldier did as well as his condition allowed. " Right about face I” i This was also accomplished with some , trouble. | " Now, quick march 1” ' And off lie went, marching down the road at a desperate pace, unable to see the preacher's successful manoeuvre. COMPARISON OF AREAS. The largest stale in the civilised world if ,'exas, which has an area of 274,356 square .niics; the smallest is the little state ol Monaco in Europe, which only has an area if ;,i \ square miles. The Austrian empire contains 240,943 square miles ; the Germas empire, 212,091 square miles; France o t ,o<)1 ; Spain, 77,781 ; Sweden, 168,1445 California, 157,801; Dakota, 150,932 ; Terri .cry of Montana, 143,776 ; Norway, 122,280 New Mexico, 121,201 ; Great Britain anc Ireland, 120,879 ; Italy, 114,296 ; Arizona 113,916; Nevada, 112,090; Colorado, 104,500 Territory of Wyoming, 97.883 ; Oregon 95,274; Territory of Idaho, 86,294 ; Territory of Utah, 84,476; Minnesota, 83,531; '■’annas, 80,891 ; Nebraska, 7.5,5 55 ; Territory .■I Washington, 69,994 ; Indian Territory 68,991 ; Missouri, 65,356; Turkey in Europe 62,025 ; Rouraania, 45,642; Bosnia and Her regovina, 28,125 ; Bulgaria, 24,360; Servia, 20,850 ; Nei herlands, 20,527 ; Greece, 19,941 ' Switzerland, 15,235 ; Denmark, 14,553 Eastern Roitmclia, 13,500; Belgium, 11,373 Montenegro, 1,770.

HOGARTH AND HIS PATRON. j HoGAiiTii was once applied to by : .rtiserly old nobleman to paint on his staircasi a-representation of Pharaoh'shost in the Rec Sea. In attempting to fix on the price Hoearth became quite dissatisfied. The nisrr was unwilling to give more than ball he re:.i value of the picture. At last Togarili. out of all patience, agreed to his la'von's irni'K. \\ illiin a day or two the pic l me was ready. The nobleman was iiirpi i..i d Mich expedition, and im ■.ncdi.it • ! to examine it. The canvas ,va-. p ; ver red. " V. . said the purchaser, "what lave yi ~ ...,e?, 1 ordered a scene of the l\ed Sea," “ The Kcd Sea you have," said Hogarth, ,tills:aarting to have his talems undervalued “ But where are the Israelites?" " 1 hey are all gone over." "And where are the Egyptians?" " '1 hey are all drowned." The miser’s confusion could only bt jquahed by the haste with which he paid his bill.

THE FIRST WAR MEDAL. Probably the first medal conferred in England for services in the field was one authorised to he ! - : sued by Charles I. in 1043, to sue)] soldiers as might distinguish them; elves in “ lorlorn hopes." It was to >c made of silver, and was to be worn on ho h; east of every man who should be cerdfied by the commanders-in-chief to have done faithful service in the forlorn hope. It was, in fact, the Victoria Cross of that time, the commanders and wardens of the Mint being required to keep a register of the names of all those upon whom the decoration was conferred. In June, 1643, Charles I. ordered a gold medal to be struck for Robert Welch, an Irish gentleman, who at the battle of Edgehill recovered the standard of the King's Own Regiment, which had been taken by the Parliamentary forces, and v. ho also captured two pieces of cannon, 'or which services he had been previously unighied. This war medal, which bore the effigies of the King and Prince Charles; with the inscription, " Per Regale Mandatum Caroli Regis hoc tmsigmtiir Roberto Welch, Militi ," seems to have been the first which was worn as a personal decoration. THE LAST OF THE WAR CHIEFS. Another most remarkable man was Tso : sieten, war chief of Taitka, now—if not dead —a very aged man. In old times his prowess in war was sung along the coast for many a league, and still lives in the memory of the neighbouring tribes, whose terror he was. War after war he waged with them, until the whole coast paid tribute to him, and he really did not know his wealth in slaves and blankets. Sometimes he would buy slaves —if captives from more distant tribes so much the belter—give them canoes and provisions, and set them off to their homes. Then everybody would gather round and ;agerly ask, “ Oh! who bought you and set you free?” "Tsosieten bought me and set me free." Then great was the name oi Tsosieten. In "piping times of peace” he lived on “ Indian Island," in a stockaded fort armed with cannon which he had bought from the Imperial Fur Company in Russian America, and inside its pickets was the village of his chosen warriors. Alas!—, sic transit gloria mundi— blind and helpless, last of his name, when I last saw him he still lived in his ruined fort, with only the recollections of his former deeds to console him. "They all call themselves chiefs nowadays," he said bitterly td me. 11 1 am the only chief Wn Worlds -