HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18551, 10 November 1934, Page 10

HUMOUR- -- More or Less

.<(j] or y ho! ” exclaimed the cook, “he siltionly am hold-iri’ out. well, ain’t; he'?” 1 *** * | “Two pennyworth of bicarbonate ol soda for indigestion at this time of night,” cried- the infuriated druggist, who had been aroused at 2 a.in., “When a glass of hot water would have done just as well!” I “Wool, weel,” returned MacDougal, “I thank ye for the advice, and I’ll no bother ye after all. Good night!”, * * * * - A Washington woman who has enjoyed 35 years of more than unusual connubial bliss has in her employ..an. amusing old negro cook. j One day, when a box of especially beautiful flowers was left for the mistress, the cook happened to be present. She said: “Yo’ husband sends you all them pretty flowers you gits, Missy?” “Certainly, my husband,” was the response. :jt * -* * “Sorry I gave you the wrong number,” said the polite telephone operator. “Don’t mention it,” answered the man, who had made up his inind not to lose his temper. “I’m sure that the number you gave mo was much better than the number I asked for. Only it just happened I wasn’t able to ;use it.” |** * * | “My boy,” said the magnate to his son, ‘‘there are two things that are vitally necessary if you are to succeed in business. ’ ’ “What are they, dad?” j “Honesty and sagacity.” | “What is honesty?” | “Always —no matter what happens | or how- adversely it may affect you—always keep your word once you have given it. I “And sagacity?’' “Never give it.” * * * * The accused had just been convicted of bigamy, and the judge asked: “Have you anything to say?” “No, not a word,” was the sullen reply. “It’s hardly likely,” mused the judge. “A man with two wives would never get a chance.”