LOCAL AND GENERAL.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VI, Issue 684, 25 April 1879, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

The steamers from North and South, which arrived off Gisborne yesterday, brought us unusually large files of papers. So large, indeed, that we were compelled i to borrow a mail bag from the Postmaster, and then call m the aid of a wheelbarrow and a Maori youth, to assist us m getting them trundled to our office ; but to use a homely proverb, there was "great cry, and but little wool." There were but few items from the barrow-load we could find worth extracting. The fact is journalism, like the fashions, is between the seasons. The politics of the past have been discussed to an extent that no more discussion can be got out of them ; and it is too early to speculate upon the politics of the future. Among the items of intelligence we came across a monster cabbage ; but upon comparing notes found that it was only a liliputian cabbage m comparison to some produced by Mr. O'Meara, one of our suburban growers. So that "local" did not amount to much. Two-headed calves, and eight-legged pigs, are much commoner now than calves and pigs of normal birth. It is not the season for big gooseberries, so tho newspapers cannot turn them to account, which, otherwise, would doubtless be the case. Insolvencies fill whole columns of our exchanges, but we have quite enough, of our own to make those of others m any way interesting. The same may be said of fires. We have referred back to our files for the last seventy-two issue, and find that we have not received a message from our telegraphic correspondent for all those days, without it contained a fire, raging from the burning of a | two-room cottage up to a destructive conflagration, by which a whole block of costiy business premises have fallen a sacrifice to the flames. Fires have become monotonous of late, and are not worth chronicling. We have come to the opinion that at this time of the year, newspapers should suspend publication, and that editors, reporters, compositors, and pressmen, should make : itli oliday time. The absence of evening and morning journals for a month, would teach a lesson to people how to value them when they put m a re-appearance at breakfast and tea tables. We have been requested to call the attention of the Members of the Rifle Company, and the Members of the Gisborne Detachment, J. Battery of Artillery, that the monthly inspection takes place this evening, at 7 p.m. In all cases of protracted absence from parade by members, we hear that the fines will be enforced, or that they will be summarily dismissed from the force, at the option of the Officer Commanding the District. We would suggest that it will be the easiest course for members to attend, and so avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness. The Gisborne Football Club will play a scratch match, the first of the season, on the Cricket Ground to-morrow afternoon at 2.30, when all members are earnestly ' solicited, to attend, and any gentlemen desirous of taking part m the game, or of becoming members of the Club are also requested to be present. During the last few days, owing to the heavy sea running m the Bay, two small whales were thrown on the beach between the town and the Big River. Andrew Park, the fisherman secured one, and the natives the other. During winter months the coast is frequented with whales for the purpose of .calving. The publication of the Free Lance m Auckland still continues to exist, which shows that the people of the city delight m writing that which is even m excess of what is known by the term " spicy." The editor is certainly not deficient m ability and humour, but both are of the coarsest. His great forte is m slating people ; and if those who the editor thinks ought to pa--1 tronise his advertising columns do not patronise them, there then is no mistake about the slating which they get. Else- | whei'O we publish a very clever and witty j "slating " which he has accorded to Miss ; Emma Albeeni Wangenheim, of the Opera Company, who called at his office m a " tearing rage," to upbraid him far his unfeeling criticism. A company of minstrels called the Mammoth Troupe has been formed m Melbourne. j It is very strong numerically, numbering [ twenty-four performers, among whom are many well-known to New Zealand, such as Bent, Cheevers, Braliam, Kelly, Kennedy, and others, and they will shortly make a tour through the principal towns of New Zealand. A colonial clergyman m a Northern city lately, thus revealed some of the secrets of the clerical prison house : — "Oh," he said, " there are four of us whose churches are neighbours, and we have a whist party every week, and the loser writes the Sunday sermons for the party." The particular foible of Mr. R. C. Barstow, the Resident Magistrate of Auckland, is a decided weakness for punning, says the Star. Where the opportunity presents itself, m season and out of season, lie perpetrates a pun ; and it is but fair to add that the generality of them are meritorious. The latest one was given to the world yesterday afternoon, under these circumstances. A woman was applying for a protection order against her husband, who is a boot and shoemaker. The husband replied to his wife's declaration that she had been supporting him, with the statement that he was subject to fits, and therefore incapacitated from active work. The magistrate dryly remarked that he had beeu under the impression that bootmakers never made fits, but were noted for their mis- fits.. The Court laughed. Desirous of emulating so worthy an example, the Clerk or" the Court determined upon exercising his ability as a punster, and the first chance that offered was frantically seized upon by him. The result we would rather not comment upon. The afore-mentioned son of St. Crispin was informing the Court that he had been very weak, when the witty clerk exclaimed, " Yes, your Worship, he is very weak. He baa been here nearly every week." The Court did not laugh this time. " Father" Hennebery button-holed the Honorable Mr. Macandrew the other day, and exclaimed :— " I'm told, Mr. Macandrew, that you are a hard drinker." " Not a bit," cried the burly Minister of Public Works. " Not a bit ; no man ever drank easier." Mr. Fox, we believe, had set Heimebery on the trade of the exSuperintendent, and scarcely enjoyed the " sell" when he heard of it. The Evening Post says : — A small piece of paper measuring about 1£ inch by 1 inch was brought to our office yesterday for our inspection. The value represented by this little bit of paper was twenty thousand four hundred and seventy-one pounds (£20,471) ! It was the Government stamp representing the probate duty on a portion of the property dealt with by the will of the late Hon. W. B. Rhodes, and was printed specially for the occasion. It is anticipated that another stamp of similar magnitude will be required when the disposal of the whole of the late Mr. Rhode's property shall be finally settled. These are cheerfnl windfalls for the Government !"