STOP MY PAPER.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VI, Issue 615, 1 February 1879, Page 2

STOP MY PAPER.

Of all the silly, short-sighted, ridiculous phrases this, as it is frequently used, is the most idle and unmeaning. We are called an infant nation, and truly we often individually conduct ourselves like little children. We have a certain class of subscribers who take our paper, and profess to like its contents, till by-and-bye an opinion with which they do not agree meets with their view, What in their sagacity do they mean I—turn1 — turn to their nearest companion with a passing comment upon the error they imagine they have detected lor direct a brief communication to the editor, begging to dissent therefrom in the same pages where the article which displeased them has appeared 1 No. They get into a passion, and, for all we know, stamp and swear, and instantly, before the foam has time to cool upon their lips, write a letter, commencing with " Stop my paper !" If we say rents are exorbitantly high, and landlords should be too generous to take advantage of any accidental circumstance round comes a broad hat and goldheaded cane, with " Sir, stop my newspaper !" Does an actor receive a bit of advice, the greenroom is too hot till relieved by those vengeful words, "Stop my paper !" If we over-praise one person, some envious rival steals gloomily in with, " Sir, if you please, stop my paper !" We dare not hope to navigate the ocean with steamboats but our paper is " stopped" by a shipscaptain, Our doctor nearly left us the other day because a correspondent had slightly praised an enemy of "our college," — and we expect a writ of JU ri facias in our office presently on account of something which we understand somebody has said against some law-suit, in we do not remember what court. But all those affairs were outdone yesterday by the following : — We were sitting in our elbow-chair, ruminating on the decided advantage of virtue over vice, when a whithered little Frenchman, with a cowhide as long as himself, and twice as heavy, rushed into our presence, " Sair," said he, and he stopped to breathe — " Well, sir V* we said. — " Monsieur !" said he stopping again to take breath, " Diable, monsieur !" and he flourished the cow-hide about his head.— ■" Really, my friend," Baid we, smiling — for he was not an object to be frightned about—" when you have completely finished amusing yourself with that weapon, we Bhould like to be master of our own leisure." — " No, sair ; I have come to horsewhip you wid dis cowhide !" — We took a pistol from the drawer and cocked it. — " Pardon me, sair," Baid the Frenchman, " I will first give you some little explanation, monsieur, if you have writ dis article. " — We looked it over and pronounced ourselves the author. It was a few lines referring to the great improvements in railroads, and intimating that this mode of travelling would one day supersede every other. — "You have writ dat in your papair V— " Yes, sir,"— "Well, den, sair, stop your rascaille papair. I have devote all my life to ride de ballon ! I shall look to find everyone wid his littleballoon — to ride horseback in the air — to go round de world in one summair, and make one rich like Monsieur Astair wid de big hotel. Well, monsieur, now you put piece in your papair to say dat de railroad, monsieur,, de little railroad, supersede — dat is what you say supersede everthing else. Monsieur, I have the ; honour to inform you dat the road nevair supersede de balloon ; and bo, monsieur, stop your vile papair.