Editor's Wallet

Otago Witness, Issue 3993, 23 September 1930, Page 75

Editor's Wallet

“THE CITY OF PERHAPS!” Oh, I know a far-off city That’s soft wrapt in violet haze, And the tallne&g of its steeples Are agleam with sunny rays. There the people laugh, light-hearted, And the little children sing, And through grey London’s smoke and grime I can hear its church bells ring— Oh, it isn’t marked on any maps, It’s the lovely city of Perhaps ! And in this glorious city There’s a house so neat and small, And through its open windows I can hear the sweet birds call From the little flower-decked garden That’s sb> gay with many a hue, And at the gate as evening falls I wait—to welcome you— Oh, dear city, not on any maps, Just the lovely city of Perhaps ! —Peggy Tibbits, in Home Chat. BY VAN. The old lady had been studying genealogy, and was looking around for an ppportunity to air her knowledge of all the branches, twigs, and leaves of her genealogical tree. Little James hove in sight. “Ah, James,” she exclaimed, “ are you not a cousin to my daughter-in-law once removed ? ” James scratched his head.. “ No,” said he, “ we’ve twice removed — once to Morningside road and then to the High street.” TELL-TALE TOWER. A tower 60ft high, erected at Chiswick. England, recently, serves as a chimney for one of the buildings where Cherry Blossom boot polish is manufactured. It carries, in addition £o clock faces on three sides, a giant thermometer and barometer. The thermometer scale is 7ft wide and the diameter of the barometer is Oft. Both can be read from a considerable distance, and people who travel on the railway which runs near by find it useful as a weather guide. Ingenious mechanism has been eroploj’ed to magnify the changes, in temperature and pressure, the principle being similar for each instrument. WHAT THE TRAIN SAID. Going away for a much-needed rest. Wearing your prettiest, looking your best. That’s what the train said. Up in the morning with scarcely a care. But bathing and dressing and brushing your hair; Then a book, or a concert, a rest in a chair. That’s what the train said. Returning ere long from that holiday sweet. Thinking of naught but dear faces to meet. That’s what the train said. The engine throbs on; it is gathering speed. * Of all that is passing you take little heed — To reach home again is your one present need. That’s what the train said. The face at the window, the cosy firelight. The welcoming arms as you step from the night. That’s what the train said. You are hungry and happy, the meal you all share. And you say “ This is home: it is good to be here Your heart is brim-full of its love and its care. That’s what the train said. Oh, treasure the thought, then, you who are young. Ere long it will be as a song that in sung Be prodigal, too, of the love that you give; It will reap a rich harvest as long as you live— Yes, e’en on that journey they take by the train From which there is no more returning again 1 -—M. I. M., in Answers. FALLING SHORT. “ Why worry over the unfaithful milkman, Jane ? You know the sweep and coalman are both keen on you.” “I know that, ma’am: but two blacks don’t make up for a white.” GURKHAS AT HOME. In estimating . the of the Indian Army during the war it must be borne in mind that when Turkey joined in on the side of Germany the attempt was made to exploit Mohammedan religious feeling against the Allies. The Mohammedan soldiers in the Indian Army were thus placed in a very difficult position, but they remained steadfastly loyal to the King-Empcror.

Some of the soldiers in the Indian Army come from an independent kingdom —Nepal. This country is the home of the Gurkhas, who are among the most famous of all the Indian troops. There are 10 Gurkha regiments, all recruited in Nepal; but most of the other regiments in the Indian Army are manned by soldiers of mixed races and religions. One regiment will contain both Hindus and Mohammedans.

The Indian Army is officered partly by British officers, who hold the King’s and partly by Indian officers. Until recently the latter held the Viceroy’s commission, but in recent years a certain number of the Indian officers have received the King’s commission. In some eases King’s commissions have been the reward of distinguished service in the Indian Army.

YOUR CLOTHES.

Have you realised how many more different materials we use nowadays in the manufacture of clothes than our ancestors did ?

Tin, for instance, is a very handy metal where stockings are concerned ! It is used to give the very attractive gold sheen to certain kinds of stockings. Tweeds, which were once made solely from sheep’s wool, can now be manufactured from the “ wool ” that grows on Borzois and bob-tailed sheep dogs. A material made from the fibre of sunflower stalks has been developed into a very light, easily worked “ straw ” for making summer hate, and it costs less than Panama straw. Pineapple fibre makes a suitable material for the manufacture of handkerchiefs and similar delicate articles.

Shoes are now made from iguana (lizard), python, and shark skin. They are also made from paper—a special paper fabric for this purpose, which is washable, being made in Japan. The humble little mussel plays an important part in the manufacture of “ pearl ” buttons. He has largely taken the place of the oyster in this branch of trade.

Paris has made hats of spun glass, while the old fairy tale of the “ Girl with the Wooden Helmet ” has almost come true with the wide use of wood pulp in the making of artificial silk, of which nearly one-seventh of the total quantity produced in the world is produced in Britain. LION CLIMBS A TREE. A lion entered a farmhouse in the Chisamba district of Southern Rhodesia (South Africa), some months ago, and killed a dog under the bed in which the farm manager was sleeping. At another farm a young lion was caught in a wire trap for wild pigs. It uprooted the trap, which tightened round its neck, and jumped into a tree, from which it was found next morning hanging dead. Claw marks showed that the lion had climbed 15ft up the tree, when it had either jumped or fell. The pole of the trap became wedged in a fork in the branches, and the lion was left suspended by the -wire in mid-air. SLOW OF STUDY. Prompted by curiosity, a farmer had grown a crop of flax and had a tablecloth made of linen. Some time later he remarked to a visitor at dinner. “ I grew this tablecloth myself.” “ Did you really ? ” she exclaimed. “ How did you manage it ? ” It was obvious the guest had no idea of how tablecloths came into being, so the farmer lowered his voice and in a whisper replied : “If you promise not to give the secret away, I’l] tell you—l planted a table napkin ! ” FROG’S HOLIDAY. [ do love walking in the rain, whatever mother says; The nicest walks I ever have are all on rainy days. My mackintosh keeps out the wet, with woolly coats inside. I love the smell of rubber shoes, and when I run they slide. To-day the rain came splashing down, as if it couldn’t stop; The puddles laughed until they all had bubbles on the top. Mother hates to see the road so wet, with frowning skies above it. I wish she was a frog, and then she’d altogether love it. —Mona Dundonald, in the School Journal. EXCUSABLE. A little girl travelling with her parents in a sleeping car objected to being put in an upper berth. She was assured that father, mother, and God would watch over her. and was at last, passengers hoped, quiet for the night. Suddenly the silence was broken by a sharp voice : “ Mummy!” “ Yes, dear .” “ You there ? ” “Yes. I’m here. Now go to sleep.” “ Daddy, you there ? ” “Yes, I’m here. Go to sleep like a good girl?’ At intervals these remarks went on until an irate passenger from a neighbouring berth called out : “We’re all here —your father and mother, and brothers and sisters, and uncles and aunts. All here 1 Now go to sleep.” There was a brief pause and then the small voice piped up again: “ Mummy!” “ Well ? ” “ Was that God ? ” ROYAL WEEDS. Our King and Queen are certainly very natural people. They attended the private view of the Chelsea Flower Show—that annual event in the flower world that is held in the wonderful springtime in London in the grounds of Chelsea Hospital. This lovely old place is the home where many army pensioners spend their last days, amid beautiful surroundings. They all wear a picturesque uniform — the long scarlet coat trimmed with gold braid, the small black hat, and black trousers.

At this show the King admired the carnations in particular, declaring that they were his favourite flower. He complained that he was having great trouble with weeds at Windsor Castle—just as you or I might complain about weeds in our garden. The pale pink carnation named Denet is also the Queen’s favourite flower.

ALIAS FATHER THAMES.

Channeleea River—doesn’t that name conjure up visions of tall ships, white caps on the waves, and a spanking breeze ? Don’t you see a little south coast harbour with the green seas riding swiftly up the beach at high tide, and the pageant of Channel shipping sailing by ? But you will not find that name on any south coast map. It belongs to Father Thames. And it belongs to a drab, canal-like strip of water, hemmed in by factories, wharves, and streets—in othci words, part of Bow Creek ! M hen you start out from near London Bridge to sail down to the Note in the pleasure boats, each curve and reach has a name glowing with colour, romance, and history London River has many names. Just by the foot of Tower Bridge, for instance, soon after your steamer starts out; you will see a few rpws of barges, swinging gently to the tide. A very ordinary river sight ? Maybe, but that little stretch of water has a far from ordinary name—Battle Bridge Roads. Can’t you see men armed with coats of mail and spears marching by old London Bridge ? When you near the Albert Dock you are steaming through a part of the river that boasts a name smacking of the Golden Hind and the specious days of Good Queen Bess. A famous novelist named a book after it—Galleons Reach. Almost following on from it is the Low’er Hope, a beautiful “ storm-after-stress ” name. To another of the reaches of old Father Thames has been given the name of one of London’s special saints. This reach is the nearest to London arm of that big hairpin bend in the river which curves from the neighbourhood of Greenhithe round to Tilbury and Gravesend. Its name is St. Clement Reach. It looks as if there might have been a special reason for using this saintly name, for in the reach —just off Grays—runs a verjtreacherous stretch of cross currents that goes by the sinister name of Black Shelf Maybe the name of the saint -was bestowed on it to invoke St. Clement’s protection for craft and navigators against deadly Black Shelf. Then, down near the Nore, there is a narrow channel running between the Isle of Grain and Grain Sand, where the small ships turn to go into the River Medway. The real name of it is Jenkin Swatchway. That is a good, bold. AngloSaxon name, a Viking touch well suited to the North Sea end of London River.

SPORT FOR THEf FUTURE. “ Help! Help ! ” shrieked a man who was struggling in the river. “ Can’t you swim ? ” asked a sympathetic individual on the shore. “ Yes, I’m drowning just for fun,” was the ironical reply. HAPPINESS AHEAD. Clear the track of pain and sorrow, Sweep away all grief and dread. There will be clear skies to-morrow. There is happiness ahead ! Let the clouds of darkness scatter That across the sun have spread, For the present doesn’t matter When there’s happiness ahead ! Though to-day it may be snowing On last summer’s pansy bed. Soon new blossoms will be growing ! There is happiness ahead ! Even Death may prove surprising ! What if it is Birth instead ? Look ! the evening star is rising ! There is happiness ahead ! —Anne Campbell, in Women’s Weekly. UNSUITABLE. Lady (engaging domestic): “ What work have you been used to ? ” Applicant : Cleaning, cooking, and managing children.” Lady : “ Indeed ! I am not needing anyone to clean and cook my children.” WANT TO BUY A TUNNEL? It has been said that one can buy anything in London, though probably never before have full-sized tunnels in full working order been offered as bargain remnants ! Forty years ago the original City and South London Railway was opened. Its first tunnel ran from King William street, and after passing under the city for about three-quarters of a mile dived below the river and ended in the Borough High Street. These tunnels have not been used since 1900, though Underground Railway engineers have kept them in repair. The railways are now looking for a purchaser. The London County Council was given the first refusal, for it was thought the tunnels would be useful for carrying water or lighting mains. However, the Highways Committee found it could not use them; their depth of 60ft to 70ft below street level was regarded as too great. The tunnels are now in the open market, and no reasonable offer will be refused. TIED. At the club, Black and Brown were lamenting the absence of their mutual friend Green. “We don’t see much of Green now,” said Black. “ I fancy his movements are not so free as they used to be.” “That’s true,” replied Browm. “Since he tied the knot he’s not had so much rope ! ” A HOUSEFUL. A houseful of daughters, A houseful of boys, A houseful of trouble, A houseful of joys; A houseful of striving. Of study and yearning; A houseful of going. And joyous returning. A houseful of laughter, A houseful of tears; A houseful to dream of Through long, lonesome years. A houseful of labour To care for all seven, But love makes this truly A houseful of heaven ! —Anne Campbell, in Women’s Weekly.

MAGIC WITH FIGURES.

A clever way of making magic figure quares which will total the same whether idded across, downwards, or diagonally s quite a simple trick. Nine figures are elected, the only essential point being Jiat these must be in their proper order. Thus the nine figures might be as under :

The problem is to rearrange these and form a perfect figure square. You can lo this in a few moments, to the surprise of anyone who is not in the secret, in the ollowing manner: — First transpose the positions of the orner numbers thus :

4 9 2 Then swing the outer numbers round the central figure in this way just one move along :

You will see that you can count 18 across, downwards, and diagonally, and co have a perfect figure square. Whatever the numbers, providing always they were consecutive, you could form the square with the same ease. CAN YOU? Can you find the gold where the rainbow ends ? Can you tame the sivallows and make them friends ? Can you catch a sunbeam or see a breeze ? Can you teach a croaking old frog to sneeze ? Can you bake a pudding of white snowflakes ? Can you blow a bubble that never breaks ? Can you see the fairies that paint the flowers ? Can you count the drops of the thunder showers ? Can you build a nest for the willow wren ? Can you tell why twice times four aren't ten ? You may be clever, but still I’ll bet There are some of these things you can't do yet. —E Woodward Jephcock, in the School Journal.

IT WOULD.

Lecturer (talking on child training) : “ Now as regards the upbringing of children, the Golden Rule should be applied.” Voice from audience : “ Excuse me, mister, but I use a plain wooden one on mine, and it works just as well.”

BLAZING THE TRAIL.

As time passes, and the years mature and. increase for us, there is not much inclination to set out upon new adventures. Yet there is nothing so likely to keep us from getting old in body and sluggish m mind as taking up some new idea or something that may call upon us to change our ways. Youth is the paramount force in the new trails of life. But youth, brave and wonderful and fearless as it is, has not a world of years of experience at the back of it. When it begins, with gaiety and a bright eye, to start blazing a new path through the forest, it doesn’t see the bright little eyes of the animals or hear the songs of the birds or see the wonders of the trees. And you can’t give youth experience. But to the wisdom of the older man majbe added some of this fire of youth. Not necessarily of the body—for that soon burns away. But the fire of enthusiasm, of high purpose, of gaiety even, and of the spirit. Nothing is nobler or more stimulating than to see the man and woman of years blazing a new trail with hope and courage in spite of many difficulties —far greater than those that encompass youth. The latter don’t know they exist, which makes their tasks easier.—G. H. G., in Tit Bits. NATURAL HISTORY. “ Listen, auntie ! What’s that ? ” “ It’s a cuckoo, darling. Don’t you know the cuckoo ? ” “ Oh, yes ! The cuckoo’s that horrid bird that doesn’t lay its own eggs.” CARELESS. Mistress: “Jane, has my sleeping draught come from the chemist yet ? ” Maid : “ No, madam.” Mistress : “ Well, just ring him up and ask him if he means to keep me awake all night waiting for it.” THE CANARY’S WAY. Birds, like human beings, have their housing troubles. The story is told of a eanary who solved them most ingeniously. From scraps of cotton left over from dressmaking he unravelled threads aid these he strengthened with human hair. To secure the hair he would anxiously watch for his chance and then swoop down on his master’s well-thatched head. With determined beak he jerked out the hairs he needed, and hastily went off to proceed with building operations. The process was somewhat painful, but it was impossible to argue with that bird, and so the building of the nest was completed, and he and his mate took possession. Five eggs were duly deposited, and in course of time five interesting fledglings emerged. NO GOOD. At dinner a little girl became highly elated at discovering the wishbone of the chicken on her plate. At this her little brother remarked sceptically: "They’re stupid things. I’ve had three wishbones, and daddy hasn’t got a motor car yet 1 ”

CHECKING THE SEA CHARTS.

English coasts are the best mapped in the workl, and nowhere does the mariner feel so safe as in their neighbourhood; he knows he can rely upon the Admiralty charts. These have to be brought constantly up to date, for sands and shoals are always shifting, the fairways in estuaries change their course, and wrecks or other obstructions occur in channels. For the next few months four ships, H.M.S. Flinders, Beaufort, Fitzroy, and Kellet, manned by about 400 officers and men, will be engaged in the arduous work of revising the charts. Starting from the Thames Estuary, they w’ill work round the Isle of Wight, then up to Berwick, and beyond that to some of the lochs on the West Coast of Scotland. One of the greatest difficulties is to fix the positions of wrecks. Some of them as they lie are dangerous to navigation, whilst others would work havoc with the trawls and other gear of fishermen if warnings of their presence were not given.

The work of charting is never finished; there is always something fresh to be done. Though the 'wealth of detail in most of the charts is amazing, there remain many parts of the Scottish and Irish coasts about which comparatively little is known.

UNFORTUNATE.

The flower show had been a great success, and a few evenings later Councillor Jones, who had performed the opening ceremony, was reading the local report of it to his wife. Presently he stopped, and, snatching up his stick, rushed from the room. Amazed, his wife picked up the paper, and read : “As Councillor Jones mounted the stage, all eyes were fixed on the large red nose he displayed. Only years of patient cultivation could have produced an object of such brilliance.”

NO OVERTIME FOR JACKO.

When man attempts to turn “ monkey tricks ” into useful work he finds that Jacko has a tendency to count himself as good as his master —even to the length of claiming strict observance of the “ hours of labour.” On Sumatra coconut plantations monkeys have been trained to pick nuts from the taller trees which the coolies have difficulty in reaching. They are said to work well, and by a sure instinct never pluck unripe nuts. But they refuse to work overtime. Sharp at 4 o’clock in the afternoon they come scuttling down from the trees, and neither threats nor cajoling will induce them to do another stroke of work till next morning.

POTTED WISDOM.

Every man has his troubles, and most of them wear skirts. Have you heard of the Aberdonian who bought some thick rubber mats because they gave. Everybody knows that married men are best. They have to be. Kissing is dangerous. Yes, it sometimes leads to a wedding.

FAME UNREWARDED.

A good story concerning Kipling and the late Thomas Hardy is told by R. Thurston Hopkins in his newly published volume entitled “ Rudyard Kipling : The Story of a Genius.” The two had gone house-hunting together in Dorset. Presently they found a seaside cottage that they liked, but the landlady desired references. •*- Why,” said Hardy, “ this is Mr Kip-

ling.” *” Mr Kipling ? ” “ Rudyard Kipling, the famous Indian balladist.” The woman had never heard of him, so Kipling carried on : “ But this is Mr Hardy.” “Mr Hardy ? ” “ Thomas Hardy, the great Wessex novelist.” “ Thomas Hardy—Wessex ? ” She had never heard of either ol them.

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