GOLDFIELD SKETCHES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2921, 9 March 1910, Page 87

GOLDFIELD SKETCHES.

BONED TURKEY. By ELSHExnER. Jack Robertson was a rollicking chap, always up to some lark or another. Indeed, I sometimes thought • his love of what ha called fun was too often to be properly designated by another name, so, though I lik*l the fellow, for he was always cheery, I avoided his company as mudh as possible without making my avoidance too marked, both because I did not wish to be drawn into any of his escapades, and also because one never knew when he might be made the victim of one of his practical jokes. I got mixed up in one, however, before I well knew tfhat was going on. I had occasion to go to the Dunstan, and I heard that Tom Hurley was driving down, so I looked him up and asked for a lift, which he willingly agreed to give me, saying that he was not starting till next day, but as my business was not urgent, I said I would wait. So next day at the appointed hour I went round to the stable, and found Tom yoking up. Jack Robertson was helping him to put the beast in, so just for something to say I said : "Hullo, Jack, have you given digging best and turned groom?" " No fear; but as Tom here is giving me a lift, 1 could not do less than lend, him a hand. I'm not like some folk who lie 'by and turn up when all the work is done." . , "Who are vou tryxng to get at.' l began, but before I could say any more, Tom sang out: . "Now, don't begin sparring, boys, but get aboard." So off. we started, and though the road was not too good, and very dusty, we did not weary, for Jack was always spinning a funny yarn or cracking some joke, and we got to the Halfway House in what seemed quick time. Of course, we got down to wash the dust out of our throats, for, as Tom said, his mouth had been open so much laughing that he had swallowed an extra quantity. Bill Swann was in the bar, and as he was serving us Jack said: "Where's the missus? I have not seen ner since she took that rise onto' me, but I'll get even with her some day." "You'll have to get up very early that mornin', s smart as you xhink yourself, Jack," said Bill, who thought no end of his missus, as well he might, for I don't think Bill would have knocked out tucker at anything if left to himself, "Missus," he cried, "here's Jack Robertson, saying he's goin' to get even with you for something or other." "He doesn't owe me anything," said Mrs Swann, bustling into the bar, "but if you'll stop here to-night,-I'll give you a good supper, Jack, which should square accounts if I owe you anything." "No, thank you; I can't do that, as I'm bound for the Dunstan with these chaps, but I owe you one for all that." "What's on to-night?" asked Tom. "Oh, it's Bill's birthday, so I'm giving him a supper, and we've asked all the boys about to it. I've got a fine turkey, and I've been busy all morning making blanc manges, and things. Come and see the table. We all followed her round the; end of the bar into the dining room, whew) the long table was spread for the evening feast. Mrs Swann, who was a hardworking, clean, tidy woman, whipped off the napkins which covered the viands to

keep off the-flies, and displayed a noble turkey, several pairs of ducks and fowls, besides a quarter of lamb and a ham. " My word, that's something like," said Jack. "I'm sorry I can't stop to supper, but you've enough her© to feed a regiment ; you'll never get through all that." "Oh, well, if the boys all turn, up, they'll make a good hole in things, and I can't abide skimping," said Mrs Swann, beginning to replace the coverings. "Is that turkey boned?" asked Jack. "If it was, and had a tongue and sausages and that sort of thing inside it, I'd be tempted to stop." "Well, no ; it's a lot of trouble, and not worth it. A slice off the breast, with a slice of ham, is good enough eating for anyone, to my thinking." "I see you've not killed off all your stock," said Jack, turning to the window. "There's a fine young gobbler there. If you will bone and stuff him properly, and ask me to supper, I'll forgive -you, Mrs Swann." "Hear to him! Hasn't he a neck?" Jack threw up the window, and leaning out critically eyed the poultry, then, turning to Mrs Swann, said: "Yes, that's the boy for me. He's not so big as the one on the table, but he'll make better eating." ' 'Well, you won't have the chance -to try, Jack." "Ah ! well, I did not think you would oe so cruel, Mrs Swann, for I'm death on boned turkey. But it's about time we were getting a move on, boys. Come and have another drink, and you'll join us in a glass of wine, Mrs Swann." As we returned to the bar in the wake of Bill and his missus Jack said to us on the quiet, "Keep them, talking a bit in the bar."

"Right you are," says Tom, though he had no idea what Jack was after any more than I had. We got our drinks, and Jack, tossing off his with a " Here's luck!" said, "I must look to the horse," and went out.

"We have not drunk Bill's health, and this his birthday, too," said Tom. " Let's have another round, and do the thing properly," and he commenced to make a speech with histfrish tongue, and buttered up both Bill and his missus no end, so that we had hardly finished our drinks before Jack cried out, "Ai*e you ohaps going to stay there all day?" and we went out to find him seated in the buggy. "What in the world have you been up to ? I thought you were never coining !" "Oh, we've been drinking Bill's health, and Tom here has been making no end of a song about him," said I. "Good old Tom, that's all right, but it was playing it low down on me not to give me the chance of doing it, too; but I'd rather drm* the health of his missus when she gave me a slice of that boned turkey she promised me." "Get away with you; you'll git no slice o' turkey from me." "Never mind! A whole, one will do as well."

"Not if I know it," replied Mrs Swann, laughing. "Drive on, Tom," said Jack, and as we drove off he called out to Mrs .Swann, "You're a ha.rd woman, but I said I'd get even with you some day." "Whip up, Tom, and iget along in case she finds out. I thought she'd 'have dropped to my hint; but by good luck she didn't, or there would have been a fine hullabaloo."

"What t'he dicken© do you mean?" said I.

"Haven't you dropped? Why, man, I've boned.the turkey." Tom roared with laughter till I thought he would fall from the buggy. "Yoa devil," he said, when he had recovered himself. "I knew you were up to soma lark, but I never thought of that. Where is it?"

"Oh! the lark or the turkey, which ever you like to call it, is under the seat, nice and tidy rolled up in a napkin. . I wrote on a bit of paper, 'Boned turkey,' and left it on the dish. I think I've got even with the old woman this time."

"What in the world are you going to do with it?" I asked, and added, "I call it too bad to spoil her supper that way." "Spoil her supper, indeed. Why, it will be the making of it. The story will give the boys a good laugh, and they won't spend any less, because of the turkey being boned, and that's all she cares for. I don't suppose it's Bill's birthday any mora than, it is mine, but it pays these publicans io jgive a blow out now and again, for it brings the diggers in, and they all spend something for the good of the .house. Mrs Bill knows her way about, I can tell you, and the song she'll make about that turkey will be worth monev to her."

we" reached the Dunstan I was amused and astonished when Jack walked into the Dunstan Arms., where we nut up, as bold as brass with the turkey, which he. presented to the landlady with Mrs Swan.n's compliments, and an improvised message that site was to be sure and return the napkin by the coachman. We had the turkey for supper, and very good it was, though Jack tried to be funny at my expense by saying he did hot suppose I would have any, as boned turkey did not asree with seme people, and making remarks of that sort, which set all the people at the table wondering and looking at me. We 'delayed our return so that we should pass the Halfway House after dark, and deemed it prudent to approaeli at a walk and pass at a, good pace. The bar was crowded and a brisk trade evidently doing. A couple of cunns stepped out. surprised that we should pass, without stopoing, to whom Jack bawled : 'We enjoyed our sunner very mirb. and I hope' you also liked your boned turkey J" the * response to which was a loud guffaw. \