PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2772, 1 May 1907, Page 5

PASSING NOTES.

(From Saturday's Daily Times.)

An unobtrusive little cablegram lately announced that " The Italian Ambassador has asked Mr Deakin to support King Emmanuel's scheme of International Agricultural Colleges." It only requires the ingenious brain of an H. G. Wells to work out a scheme for the absorption of the world's armies and navies into the world's agricultural colleges — a literal and universal turning of the 6word into the ploughshare. If it were possible to contemplate the success of the Peace Conference, and the resultant disarmament of the nations, followed by the unchecked '' increase and multiply " of the nations, what more necessary than International Agricultural Colleges? Will not every resource of industry and science be sore put to it to find daily bread — let alone cheese — for the millions of potential heroes about whom no mare " Barrack-room. Ballads" will need to be written? Curiously enough, the lines on which the Italian Institute of Agriculture is founded were suggested to King Emmanuel by an. American philanthropist, David Lubin, and on the occasion of the first congress held by it the King not only presided personally, but showed his practical sympathy by ceding to the institute for its maintenance the rents of two Crown estates, worth at least £12,000. The aim of the Institute is to do for Italian agriculture what the Labour Exchanges are doing for labour. The Institute, however, has, of course, the great advantage of being financed by the various States which have entered into the project, instead of maintaining an economical existence on the neoc&saiily limited contributions of the lal-ouring classes.

To Sir Frank Swettenham— not he of Jamaican fame, you understand — I am indebted for an entirely new light on poetic composition. My correspondents who frequently show a tendency to " run to verse" will probably be interested. The " pantoun " is of Malayan structure, and may be classed as a primitive love-son,g. The pecxiliarity of construction lies in its delightful artlessness, the first two lines or the quatrain, being entirely irrelevant, while the real gist of the matter is contained in the third and fourth lines. Here h an example : — The seimdoh bush grows in the forest. The strings of the loom are m a tangled

knot. It is true that I sit on your knee, But do not hope for any further advantage. In view of the wide field for sugg-estive-ne.=s opened by the irrelevancy of the first and second lines, the u pantoun" might be exploited with startling effect by the artful compounders of prize " poem*. " for advertisement purposes. Some such paraphrase as the following suggests itself in the case of a popular patent medicine : — The shop -tands in a well-known street. Many curious smells arise from the labora-

tory. It is* true this medicine cures everything: By its use alone you may hope to dodge

death. A second example of the " pantoun " runs thus : — ■ A lofty cocoanut palm leans toward the fort. The cU>th of Solok-make is burned in the

fire. If my beloved comes to seek me, How can I send him away? There is a delightful ambiguity about this last line •which would not discredit gentle diplomacy; of more conventional circles.

Evidently Tarious circumstances, local and Exhibitionwards, have aroused an interest — perhaps^ only a commercial one — in art : — Dear Cms, — Methfnks I recognise the work of an "old master" in this picture I send ycu. It has been in the possession of my " uncle " (no blood relative) for a number of years, but, as there appears to bs a " resurrection," I decided to scra*>e "up enough money to "redeem" it. (Most appropriate time for redeeming, say yon ; but of course I mean a resurrection of pictures). This enforced (on my part) obscurity of the picturo accounts for its not 'coming to light sooii9r, as "uncle" (poor, benighted soul) failed to recognise its worth. Before he took possession, I can brace it to the ownership of relatives (blood ones this time) as far back as 402 B.C. The value I put on it is two thousand golden sovereigns, and if you will assist me to get this for it I will promise you faithfully ycur palm oil share will be not less than a clear " thou." What say you ? — Yours in the bonds of obscurity,

Not Understood. The tone of your last confidential whisper, my friend, may be passed over. Ignoring your indiscretion as the sad result of " evil communications," we will consider your '* old master." The absence of a swan in the foreground pool points to its not being a Watteau, while the lack of sunshine precludes the idea of a Corot, and the absence of a bridge or a road, the probability of a Constable. On the other hand, the very fact that none of these " hall marks" of popular recognition pre present, enables me to give you hope. Judicious, keeping in a smoky atmosphere — " uncle's," or elsewhere — may qualify your picture in time for the role you desire. " Old Masters'' are like pears : planted — or painted — for our heirs.

' I always confess myself sorry when I am unable to devote a few moments to the advertisement columns of the local, no less than the Home, papers ; there ia always the chance of dropping on treasure. An advertisement which I chanced on the other day would apparently obviate all the difficulties and expenses involved in the State care of Habitual Drunkards : —

Cured in 24 Hours. — Any lady can cure

the most violent drunkard secretly at home.

Just put a little in thfe drunkard's tea or j coffee, or in his food. He will never notice it; he will be cured before he realises it. Let Carnegie with his free libraries, Rockefeller "with his philanthropies, Mrs Stanford with her splendidly-endowed university, all hide their diminished heads before the anonymous benefactor who undertakes to cure confirmed drunkards free. Not even postage stamps requested ! As an example of the comprehensive "ad.," I take the following from a Home paper, commending it to the notice of those who are inclined to think the standard of clerical life is falling. If so much is requisite for a semi-sole charge, what would be demanded for sole charge?

Curate Wanted. — Semi-sole Charge. — (1) Regenerate Christian man, who has been used of God to the conver&ion of souls ; (2) loyal, consistently loyal to the Truth of God and to our grand old Protestant and Reformed Church, following the old Evangelical type of Stowell, Bishops" Wilson and Waldegrave; (3) a gentleman, with a courtesy and sympathy not forced or of set clerical habit, but engendered of love to Christ and men ; one strong, quiet, and true ; (4) a man Among men If married, wife a Christian helpmeet. Stipend according to experience. An attractive sphere, a hearty welcome, and D.G., I trust, sympathy, and consideration await a good man. The advertisement which might be differently expressed still occasionally happens. Here is one from a woman's weekly : —

Torquay —Gentlewomen wish to take in lady or gentleman requiring change and rest -in comfortable house. Sunny, sheltered. Large garden. Write, etc. The desire to " take in" either ladies or gentlemen is more often repudiated than declared by the landladies.

Someone has been " throwing off a little thing or two" for my benefit again :

Henry Georgeism In days of yore the Georges Four Our sires did sorely drive, But under Fowlds's benignant sway We'll scon have Georgius V. Mr Fowlds at Cheviot.

!M> Fowlds was not so far out,

"When he likened himself to Child Nick, For if h& gets his way it's as clear as day To th« Devil the Freehold he'll Kick.

M. My rhymster is surely in a captious mood. It is evident that the fluent utterances of the Minister of Education do not meet with his approval. Among all those flowers of oratory, jocose and otherwise, in which Mr Fowlds indulges, are there none that satisfy "M "'? In the face of all those specious ar 4^uments with their ground-bait of provision for the unborn millions, and inevitable pose of misrepresentation by that mendacious Opposition, can " M." — or N either — really find fault with the Minister of Education? Is it possible to listen to the ciescendo of almost pulpit eloquence trbicli finds its climax in quotation from ihe best book in the world, " the earth is L\e Lord's and the fulness thereof," unmoved .' Truly, the paths of Ministers of the Crown, salaried though they be, are not all of roees.

I write the last note of my series to-day with -what the old-time novelist would term " mingled feelings" — there is something chilly in the air to-day.

Dear Civis, — I read with intei. »3t and some surprise your solution of the |,roblem propounded to you some weeks ago regarding the train and the gun. It seemed evident at a glance that Homer had been, nodding most vigorously in this instance, but I waited for some abler mathematician than myself to ofier a correction. As, however, no one has yet done so, I venture to submiu to you, sir, that your second ans-wer waa entirely wrong. No fault can be found with. the first answer — that the man on the guard's van can shoot the engine-driver ; but it would be quite impossible for him. with, the gun provided to shoot anyone behind the train. Your answer leaves out of account the fact that the train, and therefore the bullet on the tram, axe iv motion. The position is

briefly tnis: Tie bullet in the gun is moving at the same speed as the train — namely, with a velocity of -SSft per second. When the. trigger _ig pulled a velocity of 88ft per second is imparted to- the "bullet in tho opposite direction. Theso velocities, being equal and opposite, will exactly neutralise each othei, and the result will be that tha bullet will drop vertically to the ground. The width of the man, even if the conditions ■were such that he could be hit, could have nothing at all to do with the problem.—. Yours, etc., Bullet. " Bullet" scores a clear " bull's eye "— » Civis frankly marks down "a miss." The velocity of 88ft per second, is such a mere fraction of the velocity of ordinary projectiles that I omitted to give it the con-, sideration required for a correct solution. Of course, there is no excuse for the error, as the velocity was clearly expressed. With the ordinary velocity of projectiles, atd the train moving at the rate of one mis a minute, or 88ft per second, it is morely a matter of calculation whether ttt bullet would hit the man, and tha thickness of the man would then be an. element in the calculation. One cheering reflection presents itself : to prove my conclusions irrefutable on all occasion* would rob these "Passing Notes" of hall their zest. The chance of " bowling Cms out" is the chance of the nugget to tha prospector. Civis.

Messrs Neill and Co., local agents for the Oceanic Steamship Company, havo received advices stating that the conned tion with San Francisco will be maintained by the Maripcsa, sailing naonthbr from Tahiti. Connection between tho latter and New Zealand will be maintained by the Union Steam Ship Company'n steamers, the first boat being the Manapouri, which is timed to leave Auckland for the French island on May I*. During tho period St. Helens Maternity Home has been in existence — just under, 18 months — 259 young New Zealanders have first seen the light of day from within its walls, and in addition to that number the staff has had under its care 34

outdoor cases.

The former figures only,

include four sets of twins. It will be seen that the institution has been pretty well filled for most of the time — in fact, on two occasions the matron has not had an available bed for those desiring admittance. The worthy staff has been remarkably, fortunate with the babies entrusted to its charge, and, to its credit be it said, only, two deaths have occurred, in each case tho victim being an infant too delicate- to live.

Since the 19th (says the Milton Mirror) the hull of the wrecked barque Marguerite) Mirabaud has been moving shoreward, as h. shown by considerable slackening of the cables in use by both of the interested parties. This is said to be the result of the very heavy seaa that have been experienced during the past few days.

On his return to Wellington from Australia on the 25th, Colonel Robin, first military member of the New Zealand' Defence Council, told a Post xepofter that! he was quite confident that an interchange of visits between officers of New Zealand and Australia would result in much good. All were driving at the same result, though methods varied in different places. The smaller could learn from the larger, and the larger from the smaller. Tnis reciprocity was a thing which 6hould be encouraged ; the little expenditure wad money well spent. All countries had to try experiments, and it was as well for one State to profit by the experience of another. New Zealand could be saved thetrouble and expense of trying a certain, kind of experiment by sending an officer to Australia at the time when the authorities there were doing the same thing, and similarly the Commonwealth could profit by despatching an officer to New Zealand. Next Easter it was intended to ha.\e manoeuvres here, and it wa« hoped that two or three officers from Australia would come ' here, while two or three New Zcalandcr.3 made a trip across the Tasman Sea. There was a great deal in common between the defences of Australia and New Zealand, and they should be thoroughly acquainted with each other's defensive systems, for they would have to co-operate in time of stress.

The Most Rev. the Primate (Bishop Nevill) has received a letter from the Hon. 11. Oliver, formerly a member of the Legislative Council, who has promised a donation of 200 guineas to the New Cathedral Fund. Major Long, the British War Office's representative, who has been inspecting" various meat works in New Zealand, ia in Wellington after completing the round of the South Island. His mission was principally to examine the methods adopted in the canning departments, and now, after seeing the factories of Wellington and the South Island, he cays that nothing coukl be more satisfactory than the etate of affairs which he witnessed. Comparing New Zealand with America, the opiniort which he bases on his observations is that the meat used here for canning purposes is much superior. The visitor was alsc favourably impressed by the meat freezing works.

Mr T. Mackenzie, M.H.R., speaking afc Wyndham on the 25th, sent his audience into roars of laughter 'in descantrng on ancient law-givers, such as Lycurgus anc| Solon, and the manner in which these laws were revived or found to bo in existence in modern times. "In Rarotonga,"' said Mr Mackenzie, " no young man and young woman are allowed to walk out together of an evening without each carrying a lighted torch. If they clo they get six months on road-making, and the roads I walked or* at RarotODga ucre the finest I ever wjdkejj upon,"-