SATURDAY NIGHT MEMOIRS

Otago Witness, Issue 2691, 11 October 1905, Page 76

SATURDAY NIGHT MEMOIRS

--Each Being an Account of an Evenin?

Spent in Companj with the Dunedin D.L.F Pie-snatchers' Engade. —

Dea_- Dot, — Last Saturday evening (.the 7th irst.) the revsred body of the Pie-snatchers Brigade was graced by the presence of our old friend & rniali. Such wns hi 3 eagerness that he had ridden dcwn "'a la velocipede" all tho way from Lawrence to sco Ins especial friends," the '"Inipaitia l Little Folk," cf whoji we two writers have tJie privilege of bemtj honoraiy members. Of couise, his welcome was very warm indeed, and he was tuiau:n.oiisty proposed as an ndditional member cf the P. S. Brigade, being duly initiated into all the mysteries, passwords, ceremonies, etc., etc., of* same. Punctually as the clock struck 9 p.m., a stand was m&do on the Exhibition Corner, where a number of the Brigade were assemble!. Included among" them were j Jimmy Go Hon, Colin Tomahawk, Richard Grapeimtp. Long Tex., Jack Didn't You Knew, Harry Quago, Charlis Kipper, etc., etc .Roll cnll being held (as scon as P.C. No. 921 i had passed out of sight), and one— the youngest member, Francis — not having "arrove" (he avb sequently puT. in aii appearance 10 minutes later), we all lined in a file, and made for the doer, Texas, as> usual, leading the way, it being considered that in the event of opposition his tall, stalwart form would overcome all obstacles. Having removed all that w?-3 not eatable off ths table, and having- found a place fqT all that was eatable somewhere in regions " not qxiite ethereal, we settled ourselves to prepare our inner man for Awkward Ned's "pore little dorg." As there was s-onie delay in the attendance- owing to the notes of the bell not reaching the ©ars of TomahawJi's "Pio Shop G-irl," CJornish suggested oiling the bsll, and, accordingly, collecting all the sauc9 available, h& oiled the knocker, with the result that the silvery, "saucy" tones of that bell warblsd all over the room. At last, the "mysteries" came, and' with them our cups of ' tea. Tomahawk had" particularly impressed upon the waitress that he was to rivaJ Awkward Ned in "originality" that evening, and did not want "pie aaid tea," as the other did, but wanted "tea and *>ie," and he looked quits reproachfully at the waitress because she handed him "pio and' tea." Cornish started the fun by liberally helping Harry to flavour his pie, emptying the ■ sauce bottle vinto it in his eagerness. Luckily, it was tomato sauce, and as his victim has quite a "penohant" for this kind of sauce (take note of this, little folk), Harry commancsd his raid on the pie amid the many queries of "How's ycur sauce flavoured with pie?" Then commenced a. race as to who coukk-finish up first. Harry won, while Cornish came a good second, turning his pla,te "upside down in his excit-j-men't. Nipper and Tomahawk came- in somewhere towards the last. The champion teadrinker that evening proved, after an. exhaustive trial, to be Harry, who demolished no less than half-a-dozen cups, his cup being re- . filled each tini-e by Cornish. Then Cornish .started making sauce according to his own patented recipe, for the privilege of publishing which we awe a debt of gratitude to the inventgr. (We would advise all mothers co try thisvnew recipe for sauce, but don't give it to our little folk; it would be too rich for them, and they might _ never write again.) "First J coll«ci all the toniato sauce you can. •If there is- none in the house, use the sauce bottle— the flavour will remain there all the same. Put a little more than you think of tea, half as much again of niilk, twice as much again of sugar, with just a slight flavouring of ground pie crust. The whole to be well taken, before shaking." Unfortunately ther were no millianaires present to take up the patent, and somehow, Cornish did not hit upon the public taste, as we all refused to sample. Nevertheless, ho announces his intention oi again experimenting until he finds ihe correct combination. The 'only fault he could discover m the bustle of the moment was lhat he had ptit in. a little more of that "pore little annermal" than was absolutely necessary.

We will leave Cornish to tell tlie- tale of \is further adventures in Dunedin, and meanwhile remain,— Yours truly,

HARRY. NIPPER.