MULTUM IN PARVO.

Otago Witness, Issue 2690, 4 October 1905, Page 81

MULTUM IN PARVO.

FROM D.L.F.-DOM.

Last Tuesday evening,, 28th ult., was open meeting, there being about 16 papers brought up. those of Madame Melba. 11, Cornish, L. Dundas, and -Joe being held over till next open meeting. I have been again permitted by the chairman to gire the following extracts from some of them: —

"It was while cycling with a friend one morning on the .Anderson's Bay road that I met ' The Man • Who Didn't Smile.' . . . In those days I, -was but a novice in the art of ' pedalling my' own machine ' ; but a friend had kindly consented to initiate me into the mysteries of cycling, with its attendant -pleasures and perils. One particular instruction she had diligently sought to impress on me, and that was, 'Always keep to the left side of the road/ I happened to be riding a good distance ahead of my companion . . when I caught sig-ht of a man driving a pair of horses in an express. . . ' Now/ thought I to myself with a little triumphant thrill, ' here's an opportunity of showing that I have profited by my instruction/ My friand Lad informed me that when cycling along the Bay road I should keej) to the side next to the water ; but as the road was new branching off from the water I though theTe was no necessity for following that rule, so I forthwith crossed to the left side, and went pedalling on to meet the foe — ahem! Soon I was startled by cries from my companion. I gave a quick glance backward, and there she was, doing "her utmost to overtake me, and as she came nearer I could distinguish .the words 'Keep to the bay side! Keep to the bay side!' Like an obedient child, I proceeded to o-bey— [This pun is copyright. — T. I. C.],— and had reached the other side ■when— how did it happen? — how do any of these mysterious incidents happen? Talk about circumstances over which we have no control'— -well, that bike became a 'circumstance,' and next moment I was embracing it and Mother Earth with great fervour. At the same time my companion pedalled v up, tried ito avoid me. without success, and — ' did likewise/ — thereby adding to the heap of sweet confusion. And the man! What of him? 'As we were picking ouxselves up . . . tho man . . . 'Passed By on the Other Side' — and— and— he itevee even smiled." — "The Man Who Didn't Smile," by Jessica. "One bright Sunday morning saw me bikiag towarAa s£»takanui. , « ._ I pedalled

along at a fair speed to Tinkers, as M. is more often called. . . Tinkers, a regular old mining township, looked well indeed. . . . The Undaunted gold mine was the main object of my journey. This mine is one of the best-paying- ones up this way, and i&, worked on a really large scale. . . As the bank is washed away by water played on it through a nozzle, the clay, in solution, flows down the face and'ailong troughs, is sucked to the top of the bank, and then flows away along a race lined with ripple bars to catch the gold. After I had taken a photo, of the mine I made back for home." — "On Two Wheels — As Usual," by Indian Chief.

"He was a burglar — not bold and bad, but gentle. . . . Crikey, he had nearly forgotten that far room. Might be something in there worth pickin' up. . . A. slight creaking in the doorway startled him; He ' doused the glim.' Click ! — the room was flooded wih light. A young man in pyjamas and dressing gown stood in the doorway. . . . Another man, similarly attired, appeared. ' There's only one, Dick,' said the first-comer. It's not worth while your staying. Leave him to me.' . . . At this moment a tall, vigorous, young woman, with evidences of hurry in her attire, also showed in the doorway. 'Hello, Vi! ' the young fellows said; ' you wakened, too? ' ' Wot yer goin' ter do? ' asked the burglar. ' Tie you up till morning,' Dick said. ' Ho, I like that,' said the burglar. ' Let me handle him,' said the young woman, with visions of newspaper fame before her cj r es. ' I've got some cord.' ' An' where do I come in ? ' asked the victim-to-be. 'No use to resist,' said Dick; 'I've won the middle-weight boxing championship of the army.' The Cockney shrank back. ' And I,' said the first young man impressively, ' ani a master "of ju jitsti.' ' Joo jitsoo,' the butgfor repeated, trembling. ' And I,' exclaimed the young woman in a deep voice . . . 'am a Sandow girl.' 'What do you say?' they asked sternly. ' Fisical force, that's wot it is/ muttered the craftsman; 'low down brute, force, and I don't b'lieve in it, I don't. '"I ' likes to be gentle wi' people, bein' a peaceful man.' 'Stand against that wall,"* said the burgkr quickly, 'or I'll flunk yer. That's it. Now ke&p quiet!' ... He took the key from the lock inside, slipped throxigh the dooT, locked it, and shoved the key in his p,ocket. Then he walked to the French window. ' Too much brute force nowadays/ he muttered a-s he stepped on to the lawn, ' and I'm a peaceful man.' " — "The Gentle Burglar," by George.

"Shopkeepers nowadays' are not particular > who they sell guns, etc., to ; consequently we often hear of boys meeting with shooting accidents, chiefly because they have really no idea of how to manage a gun. They get wire fences with the triggers up ... with the result that, not knowing how dangerous these things are, th-sy, not the game which they -axe after, are the victims. . . . How many lives are lost through, inexperienced yachtsman indulging in that favourite pastime— yachting or boating, — usually with the result either that the boat is swamped or capsized, and the occupants in most cases drowned, unless they are fortunate enough to escape by swimming, but even that is a risky experiment. Then there is our most popular recreation — cycling. There are innumerable perils incident to biking — going along' at a" 40-miles-an-hour speed down steep grades, disregardful alike of the fence alongside and the valley below; of any vehicle that may suddenly'put in an appearance when rounding a corner; and of your machine giving way somewhere in the region of the handle bars, in which icasa you are apt co turn, about six complete somersaults before reaching terra firma, sometimes with your neck intact, or a few bruises or protuberances about youi^ limbs.- .- . Then there is that nobie — or is it ignoble? — recreation footba-11. Men never think of the dangers "of participating in this game — the chances of being underneath a dozen heavyweights or ol being presented with an illuminated optic. . . . Then take swimming — the magnificent art of ' pawing the water.' Think of cramp or exhaustion and other innumerable perils, which I cannot quote at length, attendant on this pastime. . . Then the weary game cricket, with which I may as well couple hockey, as in both games there are approximately the same dangers. One may get sen eye-opener in the shape of the handle of a bat breaking - or the possibility of a severe crack in the eys from a ball. Isn't it perilous when a photographer in search, of a good negative has to climb halfway down a. steep cliff, or b<s on the field of battle to obtain a good war picture? At gymnastics one may come down heavily between the bars, with the result that a towel and a few bottles of embrocation are called into use to reduce the stiffness and the many knobs one may happen to receive by the fall. In running— that is. with harriers — one is apt to catch a severe cold by wading through creeks, falling into mud-pools, and wearing the scanty apparel which athletes see fit to don. . . I doubt if, amongst all our favourite pastimes, there is one in which risks are entirely absent." — "The Risks In Our Favourite Pastimes," b>Go Hon.

"No human being ever yet made a success trying to be someone else — even if that person, was a success. Success cannot be copied — cannot be successfully imitated. It is an Griginal force— a creative process. . .Power comes from within, or from nowhere. Be yourself. Listen, to the voice within. There is room for improvement in every profession, in every trade, and in -every business. . . The man who has anything new and valuable to give to the world will be- listened to and followed. Nothing will attract the attention of your ' employer and the rest of the world ao quickly a$ originality. . . Blaze your own way, make your own path, cr you will never make any impression on the world. It 13 striking originality that attracts attention. . . The world makes way for a man with an :dea. . . There are a thousand people who will do faithfully what they are told to one who can lay out a programme or execute it; a thousand men who can only follow to one who can lead. Do not imitate, do not do things just as everybody else has done them before; but in new and ingenious ways. . . Originality is power, life. Imitation is death. . . Resolve that you will bo a man of ideas. . . Think to some purpose, for there is always an opening for an original man. . . Every • man is born to Ho a certain work in an original way. If hs tries to copy some other man or to do- some other man's work h© will be an abortion, a mmt — a failure." — "Be Original," by Areta. • "We would be considerably surprised to find how few of our fellow-citizens are true gentlemen, for many who ara known as such do not deserve the title. Who and what is a gentleman' — T mean a, gentleman in the true sense of the word. Is the man of wealth who has no need to work, whose hands are unsoiled, and who is always faultlessly dressed; he who is the first to laugh at and scorn his more unfortunate feyow being — is he a. gentleman? No! Money and position are not essential to the true gentleman. . . The fact that he despises his poorer brother signifies that he is no gentleman. Is the man who has always a pleasant face and manner, who is painfully polite, who will agree with you on almost any subject, and who is always making a flattering remark or a pretty speech — is he a gentleman? His manners alone prove that he is not. . . A true gentleman

such havens of rest and. refreshments. . . II 11I 1 know if someone asked me for ' one of ' tthosee — cr — cr — well, you know what I mean, don't you? — those long, round sort of things — all squashy/ — well, I should feel much inclined to tell that' chap to go home and find out what he really did want. But pie-shop girls don't — that's the best of them; but, of course, you knowthere are exceptions." — "Pie-shop Girls," by Tomahawk.

"What is recreation? Recrwrtion, according to the dictionary, is the act of recreating or making new again. . . The very fact that part of every day is spent in recreation in one sense of 'the word — by sleep — is an admirable example of the need of recreating the physical body. . . Recreation must ba pursued for its own. sake. Many people try to belive recreation and instruction can be combined ; but I don't believe in doing two things at once. . . We should be very careftll how we use our recreation hours, for the development of our characters greatly depends on how and in what company w© spend our leisure time." — "Recreation," by Santa Claus.

"Discouragement is a word we sll know the meaning of, for who at some time or other has not been discouraged? . . Who would Tie a discourager, -and darken the lives of those who perhaps otherwise would be happy? Oxj» of God's -greatest gifts to man is 1 hope. When we lose hope we los© all, and discouragement creeps in. . . ." — "Discouragement," by Rogue 11.

Black Watch: "If any of you have been exiled from home, and are living in a land of strangers, you will realise what a great comfort a letter is."

When T. D. A. was leading out the minutps on the 26th ult. members thought it was a paper being read out — not baing accustomed to sTtch a lengthy report.

Dis am er f ac' ! Fair Member : "I wouldn't like to marry an angel, anyway!" Dark ditto : "No, you'd be frightened he'd unfold his wings and fly away."

We have no f iced a certain little habit peculiar to Areta — that is the "h'ni" with which she punctuates her reading. I hope she will sea this in the right light, and thus remedy a defect which greatly mars the fluency of her otherwise perfect reading.

"Bcishker!" — the word cuts through the air like a knife. Go Hon, standing up and looking reproachfully at the speaker, interjects the one word, "Pardon?" which, indeed, causes much laughter. Whaffor?

It is very amusing to anyone seated in the clubroom on a Tuesday night to suddenly see a head popped round the doorway and then hurriedly withdrawn. This occurred no less than 15 times on -the 26th ult. !

Do some of our members never buy a Witness? One would think not, to judge by their frantic endeavours to learn the page off by heart on a Tuesday night.

DICITUE,

— That Lulu in lifer paper on "Which Js the Happier — 'Millionaire or Peasant?" cho3e tho wrong "ie-lle/' to represent the richest

is indeed a noble and manly character. And how easy it is to be one Th-ere is no difficulty in picking a gentleman. You are not long conversing with him before you can tell. Ills movements aro quiet and unobtrusive, and his manners speak for themsches. He will always lespect a lady, no matter what her position may be. . . He is not .1 true gentleman unless he treats hiis sister regarding manners as he treats the sisters of his chums. . . You will never hear a gentleman call hi? mother ' tho old woman.' . . . In conclusion, civility costs nothing, and no one is more esteemed and honoured than a true gentleman." — ' Who 113 a Gentleman?" by C. C. M. "The reason why women emerge from their shells, why they clamour for more and for better education, 'for liberty to take up any course of study and pursue any profession for which they have capacity, why they want to try ' for themselves before accepting the' statements of outsiders to the effect that certain studies are beyond them, is in its origin a matter of £ s. d. Our idealists must open their eyes to facts, and see that it is impossible for woman to have that dear, littlo home she talks of unless she has money to support it. They say it is the man's place to make money; let her marry, and her husband will keep her and their children in comfort. . . I have seen girls, ladies by birth, infinitely better any day than their employers, left all day in chajge of tiresome, iTI-reared children, whom they are forbidden to correct with any severity, and whose mothers take no notice of s?jiy complaints. . . Girls must be given strength to deaJ with problems that come in their wry and did not exist in the past. It is no" use to smother things, and make believe they do not exist : they are there, o and. must be, faced. '' — "The Girls of To-day, n iin&" Tneir Education,", by Priscilla. "Now, first and foremost, pie-shops (' teashops' sounds better)' are, presumably, places where you can refresh the inner man or woman, as the case may bs, during- that somewhat interval between tea-time and breakfast r time, especially on a Saturday night; ,but, is" a matter of faol, some people seem ,to think that an establishment of this sort 'is a cheap and useful substitute for lodgings, without the bore of a landlady who is continually worrying for llie rent. . . If I had a memory like » pie-shop girl I shouldn't rest till I'd learnt up a few thousand dates and such like, and got an engagement at Fullers at £200 a' week. . . See them balancing ''a miscellaneous collection of cups and saucers, spoons, plates, p,rid food all on one tray about the size of a- five-shilling-piece. . . I should like to be one of those austere and ragal looking ladies who stand behind tho bar — I should say counter (I really foTgot where I was for the moment) — in

man in the world— i.e., '•LorgWlow" instead of '"Rockefeller." — That flannel sandwiches pis i^ot fo paintable as tho ones m which the '•sandwiched" I part consists of meV.i or eggs. Pardon ? I — That the '"post-card craze" has once again caught on. — Frae Milton. — — That Lester took to valking when Ms bike came to grief, and postponed Irs ride to the Grange. — That this is engraved on all Milton L.F.s minds:— 'Time, 8 p.m ; place of rao-ednj, Btirns's tobacco shop; day. Sunday." — [Evidently our Milton comrades have followed cur example, and have founded on "Exhibition Corner."] — That— but, "Hold, enough! 1 ' T. I. C.