SPINSTERS AND THEIR TROUBLES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2603, 3 February 1904, Page 63

SPINSTERS AND THEIR TROUBLES.

Ella Wheeler Wilcc2L has been considering the question of "Spinsters and Their Troubles"" in an American journal, and ofi-ers her sisters some good advice in the peculiar circumstances in which they are placed : — '"joachelors are usually cranky and' uncomfortable crea-tures to know intimately, but the fact that they are less pronounced in their whimsical ideas than the average single woman is due to their wider asso2iation with the opposite j-ex. The bachelor is not deprived of the companionship of women as the single woman is deprived of the companionship of men. The laws of society and peculiarities of the two sexes render the situation entirely different.

"A bachelor of forty or fifty is often a ]ion with young girls, and. oi course, is, when agreeable, sought after by older women, both single and married. "A spinster of" that age is regarded as belonging to a past era by young men, and the tastes of the older ones for debutantes and the disinclination of many wives to liaving their husbands pose os platonic friends of other women leave the attractive spinster with a limited field for the selection of men friends and associates. She is, when self-respecting and refined, compelled to find her comradeship with men relegated to relatives who rarely give or inspire any sentiment stronger than good •will, and who afiord but occasional opportunities for a study of the sex as a class.

"Still another explanation of the single •woman's propensity to become different from married women of her age is me psychological one. The Creator intended the siexes to mate and fill the offices for which nature formed them, just as He intended the plant to bud, flower, and bear fruit. The plant which, fails to fulfil any one of these functions is not normal, and is in some way blighted. iue woman who is never mated aud never a mother cannot be a complete human being. There is a certain blight upon her which affects her whole nature and disposition more subtly and j>eeuliarly than the most disastrous" marriage could do.

"She is, as a rule, quite uncpnscious of the difference between herself and her married friends If she recognises any, she believer that it is to her credit. She feels that she is more sensible, and that she has a keener sense of discrimination and is a finer critic. Sometimes all this is true, but it is also unfortunate.

"I remember a girl of 25 who was the adoration of children and of their mothers. She seemed to be a born entertainer of littie ones, and a sympathetic friend of their parents. She understood the v^^s and needs of the young minds, and her cl-.arity was as a cloak to enfold their faults, and her tact infinite in leading them from pouts to smiles. Encountered after an interim of almost two djecades, what a cLan^e was found ! She had not married, an dail her interest in children had turned to criticism. She looked at them coldly, deplored their Lick of proper training, was horrified at live outlook before them, and manifested nothing warmer than a bored indifference if anyone chanced to try to cull her attention to the charma or gifts of some child. "She was wholly unaware of tee unpleasant change in herself— a change which had come about gradually with the passing of years and through her failure to lceej the springs of love and sympathy fed m her heart. Instead, she had choked them with the debris of carping criticism and unreasonable demands for t*iat perfection 01 aeportment in others wmch she "was so far from exhibiting herself.

"Neatness and order and system are virtues of the first order, yet mony afiii & le woman turns them into rank vices by her fussine&s and her str.ctures upen tho&s who do not possess the'.e habits, no matter how gTeat may hz their other good qualities. The fu^sy married woman is not a stranger to any of v«, to be sure, but, as a rule, the wife and mother learns to submit to a little occasional disorder without making the household miserable, while the spinster is apt to become a monomaniac upon the subject without hindrance arid without anyone to tell her how disagreeable a virtue gone to seed can be. "Now, to every woman wh:v fin-ds herself, from design or accident, single and past thirty, I would urge a careful selianalysis and watchfulness as the uays go by. Let her not lof-e her intere s fc : Jt children, nor turn carping critic of tne youth ;:nd maid, nor eet herself as ji'd^e of an husbands and vives, nor allow her love of order to make her an. uncomfortable crank about trifles. Let her be tolerant of the ideas of others, and keep love and sympathy alive in her heart.

"There is much said and written by a certain conventional older of mind about the people vho pis kind to animals a.ud unsympathetic to human beings and indifferent to children. I think such a combination is most exceptional kindneps and sympathy for animals almost mvariaD.y ir dicate universal kindness ana sympathy.

"The present enlarged outlook for woman is a blessing to the world. It gives the single w.-:rnan almost unlimited scope and avenues for thought, action, 'and usefulness. Yet the conditions which t<m<_ to drive her toward crankiness still exist, and she should face the facts and fight against the result.

'"That married women should seek to grow agreeable and companionable ss they advance in yesvs is understood, but the single woman ha? no husband or children to condone her faults and love her in spite of them, and it behoves her to cultivate the most exceptional virtues as she goes doAvn the hill of life toward lonely old