EH Perkins on Josh Billings.

Otago Witness, Issue 2326, 29 September 1898, Page 52

EH Perkins on Josh Billings.

The Humourist and His Epigrams. Eli Perkins, in his "Kings of Platform and Pulpit," gives the following reminiscences of the American humourist, Josh Billings: — Josh Billings— what a wonderful character ! I can see the old man now, with his lon« hair and tall, lank form, leaning over tho°book counters at Carleton's. There you would meet' Bill Arp, Artemus Ward, Nasby, Burdette, and Mark Twain. Josh Billings used to spend hours on his dry epigrams. One morning when I met him ho seemed greatly absorbed. He was too busy with his thoughts to say "Good morning.' He simply raised one hand and said, with all the fervour of Pythagoras, when he shouted "Eureka!" at the discovery of the 32 of Euclid : "I've got it, Eli." "Got what?" "Got the best epigram I ever wrote, and then he handed me an old cramped envelope, on which were written these sentiments, which your printer has set up and punctuated just as Josh wrote them: "Thare iz only one thing that kan be sed in favour ov tite Boots — they make a man forgit all his other sorrows. — Josh Billings. "Mules are like some men, very corrupt at harte — I have known them to be good mules for 6 months, just to get a good chance to kik sumboddy.— -Josh Billings." The day after Josh gave me the above epigrams, he came and dined with me, and together we smoked and laughed, and fixed the following interview: — "Mr Billings, how old are you?" I commenced. "I was born 150 years old — and have been growing young ever since." "Where were you educated?" "Porlunk, Hennsylvania," said Josh mechanically. "Are you married?" "Once." "How many children have you?" "Doublets." "What other vices have you?" "None." "Do you gamble?" '"When I feel good." "What is your worst habit?" "The coat I got last in Poughkeepsie.'' "What are your favourite books?" "My alminack and Vanderbilt's pocket book/ "What is your favourite piece of sculpture?" "The milestone nearest home." "What is your favourite animal?" "The mule." "Why?" "Because he never blunders with his heels." "Do you believe in the final salvation of all men?" "I do — let me pick the men." In the evening Josh and I reviewed the interview, and I asked him if it was truthfully rendered? "Yes," he replied, r'lr 'l said all that and a good deal more ; why didn't you put it all in?" Dear old Josh Billings is buried in Poughkeepsie, where he will one day have a bronzo statue, but tho "'immirtelles" that will keep his memory green for a thousand years are his witty and wise sayings.