Red Sprucington's Umbrella.

Otago Witness, Issue 987, 29 October 1870, Page 19

Red Sprucington's Umbrella.

'Name?' •t h rles Blank.' ' Occupation ?' 'Civil Eatsineer.' 1 Address ?' '501 Great G-eorge Mreet, Westminster, and 6 Verbena V.llaa, Himmeramith.'

'Verbena Villas, Hammersmith,' slowly repeated the police sergeant, ss he entered the furegoing particulars in a bis; book. 1 Well, yon know the charge — s:ea in>* tbis gentleman's umbrella. Have you anything to say ia addition to what you have already BtatM ?'

1 Nothing whatever,' I answered : ' I can only repeat that it; was entirely a mistake upon my p»rt.' •Just bY was the grim reply. 'You'll have an opportunity of proving that ia the morning. You are by no means the first person we have had to deal with here who has mistaken other people's property for his o«rn. Take him tn the cells.' And then t was marched off The circumstances which h»d brought me in'o this sc->pe w-re as follow. Myself and jay friend Spruoington were in the empl yment of a nil way contractor, whose offijes were situated ia the locality already mentioned. The duties of our depvtmeut were shared by some haifdcz3n othtr young gentlemen of our own age, who, like us, were quali'yiug th-im*elvt>s for the Burvey of the g ound and construct i <n of lines in Hny part of the world which their genius should call them to. But plnn* and specifications are not particularly exhilarating in themselves, apart from their professional interest ; ao it is not to be wondered at that among several young fellows, full of animtl spirits, a little practical jjkmg should have been at times indulged in.

Ned Somcington and I were old Carthusians. Whea we met, therefore after some years' separation, at the office in G-orve street, we hai only to renew our friendship The great dandy of our room, nay, of the entire house, was Nel. I honest y believe, too. that he wai one of the most guileless, simple-hearted f-llows alive. He hid. however, one conspicuous weakness — which was to be taken for a raau -<f fashion. He dressed, I admit, unexceptionablv ; and to aid him in producing the imprt-s'-ioa which he desired upon beholders, he carried about with him, in all weatherß, a beau'irul silk umbrella, scarcely bulkier than a 1 idv'a par sol, though, of course, con-ideribly longer. Judging from the cat onyx handle, mounted ia gold, it muab have cost him a uunf. of mone y .

Well, this umbrella of Nod's we tried all we could think of to get hold of. Bui he was too wary for vs — it was always left ia aome safe place. [£ we had succee led in gaing possession of it, it would at ones have t»keu a oonspicuoua position in s >ciety, such. as covering the old appe- woman at the corner, but it was unaoproicha 'le. At last we became so desperate that I accepted a heavywager from one of the other fellow 3 that I would present myse'f at the offise the next morning at all hazards, the proud possessor of Ned Spruoingfcon'a umbrella.

On that particular day, work being slack, every one was enabled to leave unusu.lly early j so that by four o'clock iv the afternoon the house was cleared of all save myself, my brother-conspirator, »nd the old soldier, who lived with his wife on the premises. My friend Ned, as was his custom at such times, had announced his inten i >n of promenading the Lidiea' Mile, there to air aimself, his aristocracy, and — hia umbrella I decided upon following him thither. As there were yet *wo hours of daylight, how-

ev r. 1 thought I could not do better than fortify myself for the enterprise by taking some substantial refreshment before commencing operations. After which, I would trust to the chapter < f accidents.

Wi*h this ol jsct in view, I was repairing towaids my favourite place of refection in the Strand, vhen WO should I 86* lonkiru in at the topographer's shop by Northumber land Houne but r - ed Sprucington 1 H» ouuht, by rights, to h <ye een nearly two mi e< away nr. Hyde Park Corner; yet here ■was he at Charing Oobs calmly BtuHying Bimie map of » 'seat of war !' He waa so wedt'fd in among other gazers ihat I could not get at him to speik or even have a clear view of his face Rut I knew him by his height, by the nently b ranted co^t. the de i-cately-tmtfd trousers, the well-poised hat, and hst, but not least, the umbrella. He we 8 holding his hands behind his back, and in one of them the precious article waa tirmly 0 asp d. Yes ; there it was, onyx handle, gold mounting, and all. As I looked, a sudden idea took possession of me— a foolish idea, I admit, as it could hardly lead to a practical result. But I thought if I could only get the umbrella out of his hand in some way, and run rff with it, that he, seeing it in the possession of a friend, wou'd give up the chase, knowing that he would recover hie property the nt-xt day. At the worst, the result would only be a day or two's coolness between us, on account of my freak.

No sooner thought than done. On the pavement I espied a piece of clean straw, well adapted for the purpose 1 had in view. Picking it up, I pro.ceded to tickle with it Sprue niton's right ear. The o experiment answred atlmira ly. Thinking it, I auupose, to be a troublesome fly, he raised bis hand to brush <ff the assailnnt. Bjt to do tM% he was c mpellid to shift the umbrel a from his r>tht hand to his left The moment of the transfere >cc was enough for me. Before the fingers of his left hind could clohe, I h=»d seized the umbrella, and the next moment web dashing m*dly across Trafalgar Square in the direction of the Hay market.

There was a sudden commotion behind me, a commotion which soon swel ed into an up r oar ; I heeded it no further than to turn half round, in order to let Sprucington see who I was. and to flourish in the air my umorella — I mean his umbrella. Bat the up-oar did not relax ; on the contrary, it begin to shape itself into words. Hoarse shouts of * Stop thief !' followed mo an I fitjw up the steps at the further end of the square. The orieß still ringing in ray ears, I dashed helte-.skelter past the C illege «>f Physicians and Colnaghi's prin'.-shop till I came to the corner of Suffolk Street Hera I was brought up ♦ all stand' ing' by an iroi gripe upon the collar fron behind. Turning round, I found myself in the custody of a policeman.

In th 1 ) usual brief space of time, the in. evitable London crowd assembled abnu tis I was regarded with curiosity, loaded with reproaches, and favoured wi'h wit of an ex remeiy personal nature, » 1 »-t the *ame moment. Ttris E bore wi'h pitience, if not with good humour, crminced tint ot the arrival of sprucington I t>h->uld get clear of my tormentors Presently a lan« w^s ma^e for the approach of the owner of tie stolen property. Judge of tny ho ror «m perceiving tbut the panting iu>Uvi<lu%l who nude his appearance was a toal Btranger to me.

Of course, all my protestations of innoctnee w^re of no avai'. aod I was treated > in the manner described in ths commencemeat.

Clatter, clash, rumble, bang ! The cell door closed upon me, and I was a prisoner.

The gloom was so great, that though it was daylignt, I could at first distinguish nothing. Gradually I became aware that I was in a narrow van 'ted room, as strong as brick and iron could make it. Halfway np the walia was a wooden wainscoting, and round two sides I could dimly Bee a low bench, barely two feet from a floor which was mc») deep in sawdust. Tae in»n door of thiß delightful apartment was of great thickness, disulttinir — nbouit; five feet from the ground —a small grating of r-mnd. holes. By pressing my face against this grating, I could nee into the corridor without. But the only view obrainab c was a grouud-glass window opposite, illuminated by he list lingering *a\H of the BHtti- g sun. It »ra>i altogether a most A*»]»r- 83ing pi cc The fl voor sacg-sted ro mn W4s ac > n'wnfld one ra v\e up of the oon<Wm <10-ll in N'-«F-'ve. th« rinnjj.»o<« of the B stiife an) tb" Sp «i h L qumition. Oijc sio ial .<»-uff v-ioea aud haavy fo<>tHtepa m the o«rri'U>r deepened t'e impression. A ax 'is ■ in a trap was a king to me. Then I >>c -an to think seriously of mv sifcuatum Ta*t I had commuted felony them emU not b« the least doubt, though with no felonious intention. Would the jn»2'B""ate believe my explanation 1 Surely my manner and appearance were not those of & pick . But my heart sank within me as I remembered that the London swell-mob are known to be the cleverest actors in the ■world— in fact, can iraitate to perfectioa any okas of sooiety. My only hope wag in Sprue innton. He would be of material asuntanoe in clearing op the mystery. And yet that nmbrella— I co-ild have sworn it to Monet to none other but ha ! However, I had despatched messengers ho him. my employer, •md my friends ; therefore, the only thing •to ,fc<> done y*a to wait pitiently till the rxn'irnitig. . I a-'Ri-c yr»u ■x description f>f that mgnt of h»rr>r. f..r such is was to ony who had nevr •h-fora miff-red an hour's deprivation of {liberty : how th« monot .ny of the lontf. lonj hours was only broken »t intervals by *£he »piK3ir»noe »t the grMipj! p{ ft ptttSt }W*'

meted visage, demanding whether ' ail ' was 'right s—how5 — how at four o'clock am. two feliow prißones, in the shapes of a drunken scavenger and a deserter from the Royal Artillery, wer* thrust into the cell ; or how in the morning all the cells were emptied, and we, the occupants, with aching boneu, unwashed and unkempk. were paraded cbrou«h the streets in a melancholy string, to an adj icent police court.

Fortunately, my case came on early, so that I ha<i not long to wait among the crowd of dirty, disreputable d6tenus, each guarded by a constable, who filled an outer room.

At the ory of • Charleo Blank 1 (I ehuddere<i to bear my name iv such a place), 1 and aiy attendant policeman marched into the court. Tue jittVr, a lig, bury, bald-headed, Hilt- buttoned person, pi ced me in the dock At the s me moment the prosecutor entered the witness-box to be sworn. He was a priggish-looking man of nboat forty-five, and no more like Ned Sprucington in front than I was like the Monument.

In a ff w calm, well-chosen words, he desoribed the whole occurrence. When be had finished, I was told that I could put any questions to him that I thought proper. I declined to do so Then, after his evidence had been confirmed by the constable who arreßted me, the magistrate — an amiablelooking old gentlt-man — atrked me : ' Well, my friend, what have you to say to this ?"

In reply, I gave the same simple and unvarnished statement which I had already given at the police station. • That is all very weil, so far as it goes ; but have you any witnesses to character V ' Yea, sir — Mr Kdward Sprucington.' ' Call Edward Sprucington.' Then I could hear the crier shouting the familiar name through the passages of the court.

After a few minutes' suspense the official returned, accompanied, to my great delight, by Nei. The good Hlow looked so dis treespd to see me in Buch a predicament, 1 hat I felt convinced he would have given a dozen umbrellas to have got me out of the scrape. As soon as he made his appearance, I noticed that the prosecutor changed colour ; I hlso noticed that while taking the oath, Ned kept one hand behind his hack ; I oould not have told you why, i ut s irnehow T derived encouragement from bo*n tnose trifling circumstances.

T > shorten matters. I may say, that if I had been a seiaph I could not have received a better character than that given me by N-d. At last c»me the qupsfcion : * Then you think the prisoner incapabl 1 of stealing this umbrelh ? '

• Well, tsir, 1 said Xed, who had recovered bis se f • postjessiou. ' if, as I understand, stealing nv-aris taking property from the owner, it is imp issi 1 le ibe prisoner could have committed the theft.'

What a fi.-st-rate advocate Ned waß becoming ! • Impossible! Why?' ' B'rau"* that umbrella was first stolen frum me !'

'It is an infamous falsehood !' cried the pro*t>cutor, starting up. 'I* 11. ?' reyliud Ned. * That person need not ne so particular about words, for this i* all he left me in exchange — at the Cigar Divan .'

Wi'h that he produced, amid the laughter of the court, what he had hitherto concealed behind his back, namely, a wooden-haudlt-d umbrella much the worse for wear, of silk certainly, » ut no more to be compared with the glories of the onyx-handled., than a costermonger's wideawake with the Archbishop of Canteryury's best 'shovel.' An attempt at buster by the late pos seasor of his umbrella was quietly met by Ned with a request that an officer of the court should examine the initials upon the hmdk. This was conclusive. The stranger's initials were 'T. W.,' and he had not had time to take notice of the minute 'E. S. cut into the onyx stone.

Of course an immediate release followed upon this discovery, accompanied by the assurance that 1 left that courb without any stain upon my character, &c. My late prosecutor was glad to slink crestfallen aw>y, yet not before be had received a severe rebuke, administered by the magistrate. As for Ned, he was overn-jwinsj with gratitude. He dfolarod with tears in his eyes that I had been the means of restoing to hitn his lost treasure. What was more, he insisted upon p ying the wager which I hid lost, and *ho of peifiming the part of Amphitryon at a capital dinner in the eveuiug.

Book-Lending. — Sir Walter Scott once lent a book to a friend, and as he gave it to hitn, begged that he would not fail to return it, adding good-humouredly, " Although most of my friends are bad arithmeticians, they are all good book-keepers." This jest of Sir Walter's remind? us of some poet's witty verses, entitled '• The Art of Book-keeping," from which we give a few stanzas : — " I, of my Spenser quite bereft;, Last Winter sore was shaken ; Of Lamb I've but a quarter left, JJor could I save my Bacon. " They picked my Locke, to me far more Than Bramah's patent worth ; And now my losses I deplore, Without a Home on earth. v 1 hey still have made me slight returns, And thus my grief divide ; For, oh J they ye cured me of ray Burns, And ease,a my Akeoside. " But all I think I shall not say, Nor let ray anger burn. 5 J?or as they have not found me Gay, ' Xfry bare pot left m $tw&"