Chapter IV. MAGISTER ELEGANTIARUM.

Otago Witness, Issue 932, 9 October 1869, Page 20

Chapter IV. MAGISTER ELEGANTIARUM.

We nood acarcoly say that Josiane was a* weary. „ . Lord David Dirry.Moir waa tho master of tho London rovols. Tho nobility and gentry won«hippod him. Lot ua solemnly note the chiof glory of Lord iDavid-ho dared to woar hu own hair ! Tho reaction against the «< wig" had begun. Not until 1824 was Eugbne Dovtfria jx>ld enough to be tho first to let his beard grow. In 1702 Price Dovoreux Erst attoraptod to woar hU natural flowing hair in public, under the pretonoe of tho fashion being appropriate to a wan of letters. To risk his hair waa almost to risk his head. Although Price Devereux wan Viscount Hereford, and » pw>r of Bngland, the todignfttton wm uninnal. At the height

'of,- the 1 uproar Lord" David;^suddWly a l^' ; beared also frith his hair and without his Wig. These things heralded the end of societies. Lord David' was even more , hooted than Viscount Hereford had been. Price Devereux had been the first, David Dirry-Moir was the second. „ It is often more difficult to be the second than the first.' Less genius is required, perhaps, but more courage. The first; drunk with the glory of reform, does not see the danger ; the second sees the abyss, and throws himself in. That abyss— the abandonment of the wig— David DirryMoir flung himself into it. It was some time before he was imitated. At last, after two revolutions, people had the courage to wear their own hair, with powder as an extenuating circumstance. To fix clearly this important point of history as we go on, we had better at once say that the true priority in the war against wigs belongs to a queen — Christina of Sweden, who wore men's clothes, and showed herself about the year 1680 with her own chestnut hair powdered and curled just as it grew naturally. She had above all " a hint of a beard," says Misßon. The pope on his side, by his bull of March, 1684, had somewhat injured the wig by forbidding bishops and priests to wear it, and ordering all church-folk to " allow their hair to grow." Lord David then wore his own hair, and boots of cow-hide. These glorious achievements pointed him out as a man worthy of publi admiration. There was not a club of which he was not leader ; not a prize fight waa considered in form unless he was 'referee.' A referee — that is to say an umpire. He had drawn up the rules for the majority of " high life clubs." One, "Lady Guinea," whioh was in existence in Pall Mall in 1772, he absolutely founded. Lady Guinea was a club where all the young sprigs of nobility might be always seen. "Play" was the fashion in these clubs. The least stake was a rouleau of nfty guineas, and there was never less than twenty thousand pounds on the table. Close to each player was placed a candle-stick, for holding the tea-cup and a platter of gilt wood to contain the rouleaux of guineas. The players wore leather gloves, after the fashion of servants when they clean knives, to protect their ruffles ; and leathern bibs, to keep their frills from getting soiled ; while on their heads, in order to preserve the ele gance of their newly dressed locks, they wore huge straw hats wreathed with flowers. They were masked, the better to conceal their emotion, to display which is ill bred at all times, but more especially at the gaming table. They all put their coats on inside out— it was luoky, they thought. Lord David belonged to the Beefsteak Club, the Surly Club, the Split Farthing Club, the Club of the Sealed Knot, [ a club to which royalists belonged, and which counted among its members Martinus Scriblerus], which was founded by Swift, in place of the Rota Club, founded by Milton. Although he was a handsome man he belonged to the Ugly Club. This club was dedicated to Deformity. Members declared themselves ready to fight, not for a pretty woman, bnt for an ugly man. The club-room was ornamented with hideous pictures— Thewites, Triboulet, Duns, Hudibras, Scarvon. iEsop was over the mantel-shelf, between two oteeyed men — Codes and Camoens, Codes being blind of the left eye, and Oamoens of the right ; each had been painted from his blind side, so that two eyeless profiles might face each other. When the lovely Madame Visard was attacked with smallpox, the Ugly Club made her a reigning toast. Thiß Club flourished even to the boginn'ng'of tho nine teenth century. It mado Mirabeau an honorary member. Since the restoration of Charles 11. revolutionary clubs had been abolished. They had pnlled down in the little street running into Moorfields tho tavern where the Calf's Head Club hold its meetings— a club so called because on the 30th January, 1649, tho day when the blood o! Charles L dripped on to the scaffold, the members drank red wine out of a calf's sltull to the health of Cromwell, To tho»o republican clubs had succeeded monarchical clubs, where they enjoyed thomsolves as might be expected. For example, there was the She-Romp* Club, whose members amused themselves by insulting tho wives and daughters of the citizons. There was tho Summer-li«htning Club— metaphorically called Morry Dancers. There tho highly intolleotual balUto of negroes and white women invented by Poron, woro exibited in all their attractive details. There wm tho Hell-Fire Club, where they played at impiety. It waa * sort ot dl ting-ground for sacrilege. The pains of holl wore put up to auotion, and knocked down to the most daring blasphemer. There was the Olub of Blows ot the Head, to oallod because its members butted the strnnto with ihtlr bud*

They got Bold of some street-porter,! with a broad chest and a silly face. Having got him, they offered him a pot of porter (if he was not thirsty, he was obliged to accept, all the same) for the privilege of giving him four butts of the head on his chest. The gentlemen around bet on the result. On an occasion some man— a burly brute of a drayman, named Gogangerdd—died- at the third blow. There was an inquest, and the " jury of indictment" returned this verdict :— " Died from enlargement of the heart, caused by excessive drinking." Gogangerdd had committed the excess of one pot of porter. There was the' Fun Club. Fun like Cunt, or Humour, is an untranslatable slang word. Fun is to a farce what the savour is to the salt. To break into a house, smash costly glass, slash to pieces family portraits, poison the dog,' and let the cat into the aviary — that is called to " have a bit of fun." " Fun" is to send a lying message of bad news which makes people go into mourning without cause. It was this "fun" whioh out a square hole in the Holbein at Hampton Court. "Fun" would be at the Bummit of its funniment could it have only broken the arms of Milo's Venus. In the reign of James It., a rich young lord, who one fine night fired a thatched cottage, made all London split its aides with laughter, and was proudly proclaimed King of Fun. The poor devils in the cottage were saved in their shirts. The members of the Fun Clvb — that is to say, the principal aristocracy — overran London at an early hour, when the citizens were snoring, dragged off Bhutter-fastenings, cut off pump-nozzles, burst cißterns, tore down sign- boards, devastated gardens, extinguished lamps, hacked away the props of buildings, broke window panes, but always in the poorer parts of the town. It was the rich who thus "joked" with the poor ; that is why no complaint was ever made ; besides, that was the part of the comedy. These polished manners have not altogether died out. In various parts of England or English possessions — as at Guernsey, for instance — one occosionly finds one's house damaged during the night ; a shed is pulled down, perhaps, or a knocker torn off the door. If the jokers were poor people they would be sent to prison, but they are the amiable rising generation. The most distinguished club was preBided over by a master of the revels, who carried a cross on his breast, and called himself the " Grand Mohock." The Mohock apportioned out the " fun." To do evil for evil's sake — that is the whole programme. The Mohock Club had that glorious destiny — to hurt. To fulfil that function, all means were considered good. In becoming a Mohock, a man took an oath to hurt. To hurt at any price, no matter when, how, or whom — that was his duty. Each member of the Mohock Ciub had a peculiar genius. One was j "the dancing master," that is to say he made the first comers dunce by flaking their calves wih his rapier. Others were " sweaters," that is to Bay, they formed an impromptu circle of six or ei^ht gentlemen, rapier in hand, around some poor rascal who, being thus encircled, found that ho must perforce show his back to somebody, and that particular gentleman to whom he showed it ohostised the impudent fellow by giving him a awordthnrst that made him pirouette ; when another prick would remind him that there was yet another nobleman behind him, and so en, eaoh pricking in hia turn. When the man, thus shut within a circle of sword-blades, had sufficiently turned and danced, they hod him soundly thrashed by their lackeys, in order to give him something else to think about. Others would "bait tho lion," that is to say, would laughingly stop some passer-by, smash his nose with a Slow of the fist, ana force their thumbs into his eyes. If his eyeballs were burst by the oporation they paid him liberally for them. Such, then, at the commencement of the 18th century, were the pastimes of the wealthy do-nothings of London. The do-nothings of Paris had other amusements. M. de Chavolois took a pot shot at a bourgeois on his own doorstep. In every age the rising generation amuses itself.

Lord David Dirry-Moir throw himself into all those sporU with the liberality and magnificence of his nature. It is truo that, Hko others, ho sportively fired the thatched roof of a cottage, and singed the inmates a little, but ho rebuilt the house with briok. Ho happonod in his turn to maltreat two women in the She-romps Club— one was a girl. He dowered her. The othctr was marriod, so ho raado her husband his chaplain. .Tho noble art of cook-fighting owed to him tome of its most ortietio improvements. It was a marvellous sight to see Lord David dress a cook for ft main. Cooks hold on to each other's feathers as men to each other's hair. On this aooount Lord David made hit bird m bald m possible. He out away with soisson til the tail feathers and all the nock feathers from tho head to the shoulder. " Thoro

will be bo muoh the leas for the beak of his enemy," he would bay. Then, stretching out his cock's wings, and pointing each feather after another, quill fashion, he furnished the wings of the bird with darts. "That is for, the eyes of his eaemy," he would say. , He scraped the clawa with a penknife, sharpened the nails, and fastened to the principal claw a sharp and cutting steel spur ; then, having spat on the head and neck, he anointed the bird with saliva, as the ancients anointed their athletes with oil, and let him run, clothed in all his terrors, crying, " Behold, how we can turn a cock into an eagle, and make a wild beast out of a barn-door fowl. " *

Lord David patronised prizefights, and ruled there with a rod of iron. In the matches of note, it was he who planted the stakes and stretched the cords, and fixed the circumference of the ring. If he was a " second " he followed his man step by step, a bottle in one hand, a sponge in tho other, called out to him, "Strike fair," primed him with all the dodges of the ring, counselled him when he fought, wiped him dry when he bled, picked him up when he was knocked down, took him on his knees, put the neck of the reviving bottle between hia teeth, and, filling his own mouth with water, blew such a fine shower into the eyes and ears of the often half- dead man that it restored him. If he was appointed referee, he Bat in judgment on the fairness of blows, allowed no one but the properlyappointed seconds to assist the boxers, declared that man beaten who did not come up fairly to his opponent, watched that the time of the rounds did not exceed half a minute, would allow no " butting," declared the man who butted disqualified, and would never allow a man to be hit when he was down. Still, with all this store of learning he was no pedant, nor did he ever forget the usages of good society.

Never, when he was umpire, did any struggling crew of roughs, yelling for this man or that man, rush in to the assistance of their failing champion, and in order to render the bets "off," climb over the ropes, burst into the ring, cut the cords, tear up the stakes, and put a violent end to the fight. Lord David waa among those few umpires whom no one abuses.

Nobody could train like him. The boxer whom he consented to train was sure of victory. Lord David would pick out some Hercules, massive as a rock, tall as a tower, and he would prove a child in his hands. To mike that fleshy rock pasß from the defensive to the offensive state — that was the problem. He solved it more easily than anyone. Having once adopted his Cyclops, he never quitted him. He became his dry-nurse. He measured out his wine for him, weighed his meat, and regulated- his sleep. It was he who invented that admirable regimen fir athletes, since revived by Moreley ; in the morning, a raw egg and a glass of sherry : at noon, a out of underdone leg of mutton and a oup of tea ; at four o'clock, tea and toast ; in the evening, toast and pale ale. After which he undressed his man, put him to bed, and tucked him up. In the street he never lose sight of him, but carried him through all dangers — runaway horses, coach-wheels, drunken soldiers, and pretty women. He warched over him like a hen over her first chick. His maternal Bolioitude was always discovering some new refinement of the fistic art for tho benefit of the pupil. It taught him that blow of the fist whioh makes the teeth chatter, and the dig of the thumb which makes the eyeball jar. Nothing could he more touching. Ho prepared himself after this fashion for his entry into politics in the character, acquired by no slight trouble, of the finished gentleman. Lord David Dirry-Moir was passionately fond of exhibitions of mountebanks, strolling aotora, circuses, wonderful monsters, tumblers and Jaok Puddings, downs, jesters, merry Andrews, open-air entertainments, and all the fun of a country fair. Tho tme lord is ho who smacks of the man of the people, and that is why I Lord David haunted the taverns, nightcellars of London, and tho Cinq Ports. If the whim took him } and ho could do so without compromising his rank as admiral of tho white, he would bo hand* in-gloye with tome jolly for© top- man or rollicking seam-caulker. When he wont into this low company, howovor, ho put on a sailor's jackot. In consequonco of these metamorphoses, he -found it convenient to discard tho periwig ; for ovon under Louis XIV., tho peoplo took pride in their long locks, as a lion docs in his mane. As far as it goes it is a sign of liberty. The lower ordors whom Lord David met in the rabble rout into which ho plungod himself, held him in high honor, and did not know that ho was a lord. Thoy colled him Tom-Jim-Jack ; under that namo ho bocamo popular, and was a burning and shining light ainia tho moro vulgar hord of rioters. This sido of his elogant Hfo was known, and thoroughly appreciated, by Lady Jgsiiuio. (To be continwd. )