CIVIANA.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 8209, 14 June 1888, Page 3

CIVIANA.

Quidqvid agunt /tomines, votum, timor, ira. voluptas, Gaudia, dtscursiis nostrifarrago libelli est.

"Debate collapsed"—a very suggestive way of putting it! For a thing to collapse it must be hollow. And hollow, hollow,hollow was this debate! When every vote is kuown, what is the use or meaning of debating? , , . ~ Well, you could hardly expect that the Freetraders would consent to be massacred in 3ilence. Strike, but hear! Anyhow the debate has "collapsed"—for which relief much thanks! But for M'Gregor's happy thought of not being there to catch the Speaker's eye when called on, the dreary antiphony of tariff platitudes, pro and con., would have been going on still. Jtt'Gregor—whoever he is, and I don't know that I ever heard of him before—deserves well of his country. " Antiphony "is good! Fancy Scobie Mackenzie, aud Fish chanting to each other from opposite sides of the House iv sweet antiphonies!

That is beyond my powefcs of imagination; but De Quincey, if I don't mistake; has something about " autiphonies of fury and gnashing of teeth." How would that suit ? But what is the use of debating, I ask, wheu the vote is a foregone conclusion ? , " To give tho country some Bhow for its money, of course.. Voting isn't everything; we pay for debating, and debating we must have; how much do we pay, do you know ?- No man knows ! From first to last a pretty penny! The words of wisdom that fall from the lips of our senators in Parliament assembled havo first to be inscribed in the national archives— Say Hansard, for short! They have next to be disseminated by telegraph to the ends of the earthPress Association;—go on, I follow you. Five hundred printers then sit up all night in an atmosphere of carbonic acid gas and questionable language that the public may bo able to read them ne?t morning; Forty able editors simultaneously'write leading articles upon them, that the public may understand their meaning. Putting everything together, I should say that we pay for debating about as much as we pay for the two million loan. Namely, something less than 3s apiece, if your arithmetic of the other day was <sound. Cheap at the price,—considering the fun we get out of it! Fun, do you call it! Tastes differ. Suppose, now, instead of giving Parliamentary debatcß in one weak, washy, everlasting flood, the newspapers took to reporting sermons or the proceedings of the Otago Institute. How much more elevated and elevating their tone would be! Fitchett on football, for example, or Mr L. O. Beal on the Alluvial Deposits of Otago! Beal is. of opinion that North was once South and East West. . . ■ Nothing of tie sort! He is of opinion that Bast was ouce North and West was South. Can't say I grasp it, but go on! What else is be of opinion of ? ' • Well, he is of opinion that viewing the physical construction of the earth as shown in any map we find the circumference at the poles and: the equator to differ by something like 29 inches , •

Mile?, man, miles! — ' A printer's error no doubt, but I follow the report,—by something like 29 inches,-a fact of such great moment that we can scarcely embrace its importance, inasmuch as very little of so great a difference. Do you follow me ? Faint, yet pursuing!. Don't stop !— —As very little of so great a difference would account for the altitude necessary to bring, about the climatic changes we are considering. What climatic changes ? ~ Why, the climatic changes brought about by glacier action in consequence of North having been East and South West, owing to a change in tho earth's polarity, by which— — ... : Hold! —not a syllable more, or I won't answer for myself! Reason totters ou her throne 1 , I sec!—you havo no taste for science ! Science do you call it ? You have been staffing me with a farrago of printer's blunders! Did you hear this lceturoyoureelf ? Well, to tell the truth, I didn't; but here it is in black and white. - Neyer believe anything. you road in the papers! Science do you call it!—lf this is science, give me politics! .