AN AMUSING ADDRESS.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 6740, 21 September 1883, Page 4

AN AMUSING ADDRESS.

Mr George Fisher,- mayor of ; Wellington, was recently placed in a-difficulty, being charged with having altered a legal: notica drawn up by the City Council's solicitor to be '. served upon a certain'defaulting contractor. A great dust was kicked up about it,1 and tho worthy Mayor published,an'address- Iq;the ratepayers, in.which. he sought to exonerate himself from blame.' His literary style (cays a contemporary) is very varied,'and-some of his figures of speech are. amusing. The Wellington journals cut him/up a good deal, the Evening Post particularly,,and in his address he "went for " that paper with especial vigour. The Post "divesand ducks like a ! shag," a "subtle malignity "marks every lino of its " lago-like productions,""anditi remarks on the caße are."arrant rubbish "and "childish E rattle." It would seem this is not the first tima c and the Post have quarrelled, for he says he hal done nothing for a very long time past that could provoke "the opposition;,or'the" ill'wiU of its proprietors or its editor/* I .believed," he says, " we had buried the' hatchet, to usa a colloquial phrase. But I have been; "slumbering on a volcano. That.form of Eastern perfidy* which lies latent for-years has burst upon me with the greater effect because of my unsuspecting trust in the friendliness of those who professed to be friendly. Never more will Lbe.deceived by -the velvet paw. The Thug was on my trail rand I have escaped the fatal gripe. I was caught in » trap, and yet lam not trapped. Bat what a lesson I. have received—l who thought I knew so : nn)ch "of the world!" .The solicitor referred to was Mr.Traverg,. and of him ha writes: " But why should Mr Travers punish the city in order to punish me? " It is not usual to blow up a mountain.to unearth a mole. We dig for the mole. But Mr Travors was wholly and 'sorely';engrossed yvith; the idea that he would kill; me, politically. Mr Travers picked up a'red-hot poker.'?-- One of: the i is. "'New Zealand' born, and/ therefore '■• deficient -in;;phosphates"—a delicate -allusion' to' a" popular .notion- ppncerninff brain-forming materials.-^ The; con-' . duct of oth.er- councillors 'vi&a so peculiar; that he could : scarcely , restrain '■ his: "feelings in speaking of them,'" but I must not' become angry, • because, 'according to Lougfejiow,^ to ' becomo angvy is to become undignified.' 10 If he-did -sometimes loae -part'-or even'all bis native dignity, it would not be to Be"wondered at for a few days before1 he'"had to perform the principal part in a sort of Indian suttee. Mr George Fisherdoes not stand fire well. la conclusion; he asked:' " Suppose, for the sake of argnmenty I had committed an act of individualindiscretidn. Is that one: .error to^ obliterate all the good I have effected throughout rhy career ?' The ratepayers^are, of couras expected to cry, MW,no,'Mran.cheers. ■

—The Garfield Monument Conunittee have seleoted a site in Lakeview Cemetery (Cleveland) overlooking the.'country for miles. The funds in hand are §130,000, .. ■ -

—In Pennsylvania, a hospital for bedridden patients has' become very popular. Fatients who have lost the use of their muscles nro put upon a diet of .milk, and nothing else, ... About two ounces is given at first, once in two" hours.' In one hour and a, half it is digested. ' The amount is gradually increased till the patient, will take a gallop.-per .day; This treatment is accompanied with rubbing of the body, and in .a comparatively short; time the muscles aro renewed, and become healthy and strong, enough to allow the patient to get up and walk. '; .-■: ; -.. '■■;■-.- '■■;:-. ■

—An enterprising railroad in Ohio, the Cloveland, Akron, and Columbus Railway, ha» made a new departure in its time tables by adopting a system which haa been approved of, but not ventured upon by many railway companies in the country. On it« time cards the hours are numbered from one up to twenty four, the latter being midnight. The confusion which bo often ojusts between the a.m. and p.m. hours is thus avoided. Thus one train arrives in Cleveland at 19 30, and one departs from Columbus at 17 o'clock. .■■■■■