FUN AND FANCY.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XXXIX, Issue 10760, 6 May 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY.

Patience: Do yon Iwlimv i# *»««? raise hair? Patrice: ~\\ li.v. mniiih'' • What else would one do with it:'

Passenger: This is a v< it slmv train, guard. Guard: Yes, sir; I ttai ii ■•mist bo those sleeping rarrasys hind.

"Arid this new gas burner "ill.« ally reduce olio's gas hill!-" "Mi'lm say that. I said it wotiM rflwi' consumption of gas." He. (thinking of the scrimni): Qiiitea novel treatment, eh ? .She nliinkin-''! the liat in front) : Yes, but too a bargain, don't you think:"You accepted me last 'light. aij' now you say you refuse iw. 1 ' I'll teli you what—you propw a ? ai: and we'll make it best of iliree." | iVlrs Bouncer: My sister is on sp"" ing terms with all the best pr-op!'' n the city. Mrs Juniper: Really! a waitress or a telephone operator. liie Spiritualist: Is that- the spirit o Lady Montague? The Mfdiun: > ma'am. I'm the spirit of 'er Iw ship's maid, an 1 I'm to h;i.v that sb' Jlot at 'oine.

"I regard the hobble __ skirt a-l highly reformatory agent.'" "How c, you make that out?" ••H (i compels one to walk in the E ' ral - :i ar.c'l narrow path." "Then how do you define the art' conversation?" asked the talta woman. "The art .if eouversatM. said the cynic, "is iistfiiiii.LC to yourst talking in'the presence of others. Johnny: Grandpa, do buns 11° J heaven? Grandpa: X"- -'"'"J"' Johnny: AVcll, do ministers:- Grandpa Why,-of course. Why do you a >» Johnny: Well, suppose a lion 03 ' : minister. He: Before 1 propose J wish t-' have you anything m the hank: les; I .have a Jover there. He is t! manager, and we an- goint; W be w ried next week. The Squire: What did he uw 0 George? George: Jlr died ";n" ' iv< d?,y. The Squire: i mean what cos plaint did he die oi ? George: <Ji f® Know 'xactly, sir, but it irorentt thin' very serious Mrs Robinson : And were you Ehine? Mrs de Jones (,uho is uc-® ing her Continental trip las' ber) : 1 should think so; w,' very top. What a sph ndid vwv.' is Jrom the summit.' f "Dorothy," asked her iniiit "do you like to go to .m-liool. ' 1 auntie," replied dutilui DorotlAjj out the slightest I Munition. : going, and t like ruining b.u-k. , staying there betv.een liiiu'- ; 1 bothers me." . i

"Now that you are I '* , Rimer, we propose m pla_ee , tan your former home " "N ..j'i ■would you wish ns to might say that I was >.i".ted payment of rent.'' replied ih'.-.v)""' embittered haul. . , ~,-j He came home in ihe siiml! B" the morning, and his • fronted him with wrath in ! a telegram in her band. is news'that has been Ji'ijl since supper-time." H" • J ed wise, and braced up ~r t rack, felt through his peekr.-. 1 • ing, "I left my :d;i-es in "Yes," she re plied, "ill" M ''" '~k ''but you brought thr you." They were talking . r '; the .greatest "produ"'r. "character actor," anil - a]lU 'i,i And the' actor avened ,j ! ';ici ; and everything could be oxp •" . lU dici ! ly. : . "I can tell it n< tho ' ll ,. Ti; , without speaking," .'"""L.-t of ' will you kindly go to " ?J stage," said Mr J * ;,rr 'jj 1 v<) „ h express in your face tlu . ■ Suf vounger brother who «' as . }, o ardi n shire, but is now staying • house oil the south^c^f^^-;^^