FUN AND FANCY.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XXXIX, Issue 10671, 21 January 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY.

Even a steamship 1000 ft Ion; very big compared with 3000 ir. ocean.

First Lady: Thought yer sai could keep a secret? Second Lac I can. But them 1 told it to con!

Sunday School Teacher: Is yom Christian, Bobby? Little B No'm. Not to-day. He's gi toothache.

"It seems a chasm is oponiu: tween the King of England an; people." "Yes, and apparent won't bridge it with now peers." "What shall wc say of & SnvuggF" "Just say he was i faithful to his trust." "And slis mention the name of the trust?"

May: What do you mean by s that Maude is "more or lass pre: Tom: Well, she's more pretty most girls, but loss pretty than \ "Elsio says there was only one i back to her wedding." "What that!" "She says her father I too cheerful when he gave her :m Poet: Two weeks ago I sent a and enclosed a stamp for app Editor: Yes, I remember. \V proved of the stamp'. I don't rem; the poem, though. . The little girl, stroking her mo: silk frock, asKs, "Where did this] dress come from!" "From tlio t dear," replies the mother. "You papa," suggests tho child. "Why do you'make that patient three hours every day in your room?" "Ho needs rest," exft. the doctor, "and that is the om; I can compel him to take it." Mrs Sharpe: I've paid this bill Baker: Indeed, ma'am I'm very thatl didn't recollect it. Miss Sfc 'I dare say that you arc sorry tk didn't recollect it; but I'll take of that.

Housemaid: There'll be grand' over at Mrs Cashley's nixt week. eldest daughter is comin' out. | Faith, that remoinds me. Casey! ought-to be comin' out soon. been' in over a year. "Are you going to sottlo an? on your daughter?" asked the J mail with tho cigarette and lang'» : "Well,' it rather looks, if she, m| you, that she is going to settle * thing on mo," replied tho parent O'Brien: The doctor sen what is insomny. O'Toole: Oh, slnire. had that trouble mesol' an' there! wan cure for it. O'Brien: «j that? What d'ye do? O'Toole:. go to sleep an furgit all about itCholly had put on his iie<w was looking over .his supply oNio-' "I wonder, now," he said, tuinmE "whether the socks have to matt tie or whether the. tie has to t the socks." Mistress:'' Nora, I saw a p* in the'park to-day kiss a baby. > you will remember my objection tc things; Nora: Sure, ma'am. no $ man would ever think iv kissm baby whin I'm around." • "Your clerks seem to he in ', .humor,".-remarked the friend » 'great merchant; '■- "Yes," ropn<* great, merchant. . ."My wife lias been in ,a'nd it tickles them t" « c! ' see -somebody around. . Regular Customer: There used; two or ihreo little bald spots *• crown of my head," away hack- ; thev ( there yet?" Barber: Iy>, * ain't so bad as" all that. W here' spots used to be, sir, there's oi«. nowy '■ ~i "A play," remarked tlifs manager, 1 "is like a cigar." . ' the answer?" inquired the \>' • reporter. "If it's, good," oxp »«»; manager, "everyone wants a bov if it's bad, no amount of V^ m ' make it draw."