WILLIAM, ALFY, AND HENRY JOHN.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XXX, Issue 8683, 7 January 1905, Page 2 (Supplement)

WILLIAM, ALFY, AND HENRY JOHN.

(Bv Guv Wetmore. Carryl.)

The big nonse stands upon a nso of sroar.d, commanding a tolerable stretch of country: the gardener's cottage is back of its imposing neighbor, and further down the slope, and impresses even an ■unimagimtive observer as having a deprecatory arr. the air of a dependent—which, indeed, it is. I have travelled a good bit, and seen a nttm!>cr of people who are or have been counted famous, and. among those-, not a few who, by reason of an exalted position, a loftv manner, or a brilliant dress, were sijjm-lty impressive: bat even so, I found Mrs Enoch Blake imposing at the first lit!nee. and never met her thereafter without a sensation of respect. It was not remarkable, therefore, tlwit upon William, Alfy. and Henry John that lady's presence should have produced an effect nothing sliort of stupefying. Mrs Enoch Blake was a charming and sufficiently wealthy widow of my acquaintance, who lived in big house aforementioned, and William, Alfy. and Henry Jolin were her gardener's sons

• f Then- werf- so many good points about i Mrs ISiake that it would bo sheer follv to f attempt their enumeration: but she- had no | <*jv frr h>-r inferiors. Other people, and. t in particular, your scientist, your author. I and iv.intrr. pride themselves upon I t!i? amount ol th;ng> they contrive to see in critic through the world: but Mrs | Knoch Phiko phimed herself upon the i re.-mle she managed not to see—a. curious ' vanity '. Her use of an e]nl>omte co"d I !»rr;;ette iv.is so constant that she m'crht } furlv haw Ivfn said to wear, raihor than i simply to carry, it. and was not. as might f be 6xirni:.--fd. dr-siirned primarily to rein- } force a <h-fretire vision, but. quite as much. \ to emph-tsis" the stroerh hantonr of her l demeanor. It was only the envious among [ her acpsarnianeos who compared her on j this account to n basilisk of Gorgon, al- > though T rot infrequently heard it done. I Not the least of her good points were two ! daughters so charming (hat I should infallibly have m,->de an offer for the pair if I had been so fortunate as to be born twins. h:?t tat ween whom, as it was. I was unable to decide: a miniature Eden of a country-place: three capital saddlehorses: and a thoroughly initiated, if somewhat formal, theory and practice of hospitality. Tn short. Mrs Enoch Blake was a lady whose tolerance, (since I hardly expected to get much farther) I thought it very well worth a bachelor's while to cultivate. I had done so assiduously for close upon sue years, and was regularly invited, once a quarter, to spend Sunday, and. at Thanksgiving, to pass a week.

I have more than once reflected ucon the incongruity of the supposition that Mrs Blake and hec dozen or more servants were created equal. THat she in

person should ever have engaged them; that from time to time she should instruct, command, or reprove them, in the performance of their duties; that, in brief, she was so much as aware in any respect of their existence, seemed to me to be the least logical of human relations, so monumental was the contrast- between the magnificent 'reserve- of her attitude and tire timid inconspicuity of theirs. They seemed to, and I think they did, regard her with almost superstitious awe, but the manner of none was so instinct- with mute reverence and admiration as was that of Willia-m, Alfy, and Henry John. From the "moment when first I clapped eyes on them this infant trio exercised upon mo the strangest and most powerful magnetism. Their ages I should have taken to be, respectively, five, four, and two. All three were solidly built, and distinguished bv a, stupendous gravity of ex-pn-ssion, as* well as by their gregarious habit of travelling heavily about in companv. From the first, they vaguely suggested to my mind a group which I seemed to remember in Biblical history—l should Iks at a loss to place them.—who "stood afar off, gazing," or something of tho kind. As we were strolling about the place, or starting for a walk, we would sud-dei-Jy espy them in the middle distance, motionless* staring, seemingly entranced. The eider Miss Wake proposed to draw from them a resemblance to buffalo, disturbed in their grazing, upon the crestcf a prairie-swell. There was something in that. The younger Miss Blake was rrmintk-d cf the natives of San Salvador observing the landing of Columbus from the slopes back of the beach. There was something in that- also. But so far as 1 am concerned, I have only to whisper to myself. "They stood afar off, gazing," and I have- called up the most- vivid imaginable nicture of William, Alfv. and Henry John.

A n-arer approach resolved the group into three distinct identities, somewhat imperfectly endowed with speech, and with faces possessing rudimental traits of features. William and Alfy, as being practically of an ago and size, went, for the most part, luind-in-hand. I seem always to have seen them in surprisingly heavy clothing, or else they were amazingly great of girth—but- I think it was the former. .Their hats came lower down about their ears than is usual, their sleeves more amply over their hands, their boots higher above their ankles, and their trousers further below their knees. Beyond this, their dress was not remarkable, save for tho manner in which their coats were buttoned—tho first button in the second hole, the second in the third, and so to the end—which lent their appearance a- curious suggestion of imminent disintegration, akin to that of an unskilfully constructed sandwich. It was reserved for Henry John to startle tho eye by tho wholly unexpected—and, I submit, the wholly illogical—eccentricity of his attire. He- wore, unless my memory scurvily tricks me, a red flannel dolman and a white turban, the year around. lam bound to confess tlsat there was always something, not only about- tho personality, but about the very name, of Henry Joltn, which charmed me irresistibly. In tho former he was strikingly unique, and in tho latter I think that ho was hardly less so. So many have been called John Henry! As I have said, Honry John was, approximately, two. I liave some diffidence in endeavoring- to make clear his chief peculiarity The task calls not only for precision, but for a certain delicacy of reference, as wall. However, one can do no aiora tlian try.

Tho salivary glands, then, of Henry John were abnormally active in the performance of their function, and his swallowing powers limited to a degree. Resulted, upon his countenance, certain insufficiently drained tracts of territory, which knew no such tiling as a dry season. To be added to this, as a factor contributory to his habitual appearance, was a notable instability of equipoise, whereby it is probably tliat he passed fully fifty per cent, of his waking existence in a recumbent position, face downward, on the ground. For the majority of us, the fall of man is more than an imperfectly substantiated incident in ancient history; for Henry John it was an ever-present need of holp in time of trouble. His sole salvation lay in the support afforded by the fraternal hand of William or of Alfy. United, he stood: divided, he fell—and copiously wept! Given this superfluity of facial moisture, and given, as well, this tendency to abrupt collapse, and it was but natural, I conceive, that Henry John should have uniformly, if ingenuously, displayed the dirtiest fac© that I hive ever seen.

It remains only to speak, with necessarily incompetent eloquence, of the trio's drawl. If I did not thereby risk misapprehension, I should content myself with saying simply that thoy spoke at length. So, indeed, they did, but in the respect of quality, not quantity. As wo passed them, starting for our walk or drive, the ceremony of greeting would run as follows :

Tho Elder Miss Blake: "Hello, William !"

William (with rising inflection): "Hair-lo-o-oh!"

The Yoimger Miss Blake: "Hello, Alfy!" Alfv (with rising inflection): "Hair-10-o----ah !" ' Tho Misses Blake: "How are you todav?"

William sind Alfy: "Aw-w-1 w-i-i-i-ite." Myself : "Hello. Henry John !'' Honry John : " "

Myself: "How are you to-day?" Henry John (falling heavily to the earth): "Wa-a-a-ah ' Hoo-00-00-oo! Wa-ah-aah!"

Only once did I mention William, Airy, and Henry John to Mrs Enoch Blake. She. raised her lorgnette Languidly. "Has Saunders children?" she inquired. "How disgusting- It must be something new."'

Yos, it was evident tliat. she prided herself upon what she did not 6oe. In all, from visit to visit, I may have seen tho trio thirty times. I do not remember that they ever gTew in stature, changed in appearance, or altered their formof address, from first to last, until that famous Hallowe'en, and even then tho transformation was fleeting They reverted, almost instantly, to type. I spent a Sunday in August with tho Blakes, and, as I droro away from the big house on Monday morning, saw and hailed the throe infants in front of the coitage. There was no audible reply. Henry John tottered giddily for an instant. under tlio unexpected shock of my salutation, and then plunged forward and buried his face in tho dusty driveway. His "Wa-a-a-ah ! Hoo-00-00-oo! Wa-ah-a-ah!" came faintly to my ears, as the runabout swerved into tho main road. I returned about noon, on the last day of October, to find the face of Xahire clinngcfj. A half-mile from the big house, I passed the country school, and, perhaps fifty feet further on, an open, grassy space, upon wliich an astonishing spectacle met my eyes. Along the edge of the green-sward, in the warm Indian summer sunlight, were seated on a row of stones a score or so of children, intently observant. Before this assemblage, with eyes closed and arms ontstretched, William and Alfy were lieavily turning round and round, acquiring dizziness. As I watched them, amazed at this evidence of intelligent purpose, they ■snddenly collapsed and foil, amid shrieks of rapture from the spectators. Immediately Uie whole company were on their feet and in motion, turning and turning, after the pattern set them, reeling, faliiur. rising, and repeating the experiment with tireless enthusiasm. In the midst of this I was aware of the eyes of William fixed upon me, and recalled the drollery of his accustomed replies.

I "Hello.. William!" said I. "How are yo-i to-day?*' To my consternation 'William retorted with a gesture which for the first time in o'ir acquaintance called my attention to the- fact .that he possessed a nose. "Oh, fur-dge!" said he in a. loud, bold voice, and "Oh. fur-dee"" echoed Alfy and the twenty constituents in chorus, imitating to perfection, their chiefs contemptuous drawl. I resumed my way, reflecting upon the benefits of education. For to my experienced mind it was at once evident," not- ; only that- William and Alfy had begun

to go to school, but- that, in their new environment, they had immediately assumed that commanding position to which their personality and talents undoubtedly entitled them. I was wondering, also, whether they had as yet arrived at the point of saying "Oh, fudge!' to the statelyMrs Blake !

On the driveway leading up to the big house, I observed that the autumn leaves had fallen. So, also, Henry John. I set him on his feet, as I passed, and with my glove removed from his convulsed face a tithe of its accumulated grime. "Hello, John Hemy!" 1 said. "How are you to-day?" "VVa-a-a-ah! Hoo-00-'co-oo! Wa-ah-a-ah !" quoth Henry John. I went on, comiorted. . It was a heartening thing to find at least one unchanged reminder of simpler times. The afternoon passed pleasantly. The weeks had but served to render Mrs Blake the more magnificent, and she plied her lorguette with a mastery whidh rendered me frankly uneasy on the score of an interview to come. The younger Miss Blake found fault with my scarf, during the ten minutes which I managed to snatch alone with her before tea, but, in some fashion which I will leave those who think they can guess at the relationship between us to divine, her scolding afforded me more satisfaction than another's commendation.

"It's too large and pudgy," said she. "I should think it would feef awfully uncomfortable, under your chin there." "There is something," I suggested, "which I can imagine would feel awfully comfortable, just over my chin here!" And, having obtained it, I contentedly gave my scarf to the butler next morning! When we came to the tea-leaves and the last slice- of iharma-laded toast, I had a 'word in the patrician ear of Mrs Blake: "Will you come for a little walk outside?"

"I?" she inquired. "Please!" I answered. "It's really important—very !" Outside, the blue-black October evening, wind-blown, was full of the lisp of falling leaves and tho distant homing of the sea. The smell of pines and red cedars was in tho air. As tho magnificent- Mrs Blake and I paced the piazza in silence, I searched for words which, somehow, did not come. Far off, to the right, little dots of yellow winked against tho dark. "Fire-flies," thought I. But they were not fire-fiies. I am too thoroughly citybred to be wholly familial with, the phenomena proper to the seasons in the country. "Mrs Blake," I said at last, "there comes a timo in tho life of every man when he begins to suspect that perhaps tho manner in which he lias seen fit to arrange his existence, is not an unqualified success. That time lias como in mine. I've been thinking in what- way I can best put tho caso before you, and I've about concluded that I cannot do better than to como directly to tho point. Mrs Blako, I've been a single man too long." Mrs Blake made- no reply. "This afternoon," I continued, unabashed, "I had a little talk with your daughter Katharine, and I was glad to find that her views coincide with mine."

"All?" observed the lady, coolly. "I hasten to add," I went on, "that I havo also had a conference with your daughter Isabel, and that she is precisely of the same opinion." Mrs Blake glanced at me inquiringly, and then deliberately turned her back and stepped out upon the driveway. It had clouded over, and was very dark. I followed her, and we strolled on together. "I suppose," she said, "that you do not add Mormonism to your other accomplishments. You don't propose to marry them both?"

"I have found no possible means of choosing between them," I answered. "In either case," objected Mrs Blake, "there is some disparity in age. Katharine is only eighteen, and Isabel is not yet twenty, while you " "While I," I put in courageously, "shall never have another look at fifty-two."

"So you see—" began Mrs Blake. Here" we came to a curve in the driveway, and, as if by arrangement, turned toward the house again. Then we halted abruptly. What at a distance I had taken for fireflies were, in reality, the features, rudely carved, of infant pumpkins. They were now so near at hand that we could perceive the attempted symmetry of their relation —the round eyes, triangular noses, and widely gaping mouths. Tliey moved, to be sure, but at so grotesquely inadequate an elevation from the ground as to hint that the bodies connected with them must indeed be those of the goblins which these uncouth visages suggested. As I reflected upon this, suddenly the solution became apparent. Surely, in all that coun-try-side, there were no rational beings so short- of stature as William, Alfy, and Henry John! "These," 6aid I, "will be the babes of Saunders." "Has Saunders children?" asked Mrs Blako again. "How revolting ! But—ch.il dren with illuminated heads?"

"It is HaJlowo'en, dear lady,"-I ventured soothingly. "These are but Jack o' lanterns—tho pranks of infancy." But, even as I thus pleaded extenuating circumstances, I was appalled to notice tho unwonted boldness of William, Alfy, and Henry John. They had wheeled into line, close to the window of the room where, by all the laws of logic, 1 should, at that very moment, have been donning evening dress, and before my last remark had died upon my lips, the voices of the trio roso in unison upon the evening air, in a wailing, long-drawn, and supposedly terrifying cry: "Borr-r-r-r-r!"

Here was progress ! The three, who had formerly "stood afar off, gazing," had formed a conspiracy to frighten me, and were now deliberately carrying it out! "Suppose I were to charge upon them," I suggested. "By all means, do!" said Mrs Enoch Blake. "The litle imps! 1 wish you were a squadron of cavalry !" Forthwith I charged, and, in the excitement of charging, uttered a sound which, botli in voiume and in blood-curdling uneartulineso, surpassed my fondest expectations. I have since endeavored, on several occasions and in "private, to reproduce it, but in vain. It was an inspiration of the moment, and the knack of making it, like that of quarrying a monolithic obelisk, is a lost art, a secret buried in the past. The three illuminated heads plunged instantly to the ground. One, at least, of them was shattered by the shock, and 6plifc into a dozen fragments, the candle-end it had contained rolling out and flaring for an instant in the grass, bsfore it was extinguished.! The young trespassers fled without a sound, without even giving me the proof of actual vision to confirm my suspicions of their identity. I cut across a corner of the lawn, in the hope of heading them off, but tihe darkneess, which was now intense, had swallowed them completely. I was retracing my steps, chuckling amusedly to myself, when two things happened simultaneously. Mrs Enoch Blake was suddenly precipitated out of the deep shadows surrounding the house, landing full and fairly in my arms, and the silence was its abruptly rent by a piteous wail—-"W.i-a-ah' Hoo-00-00-oo! Wa-ah-a-ah!"

'■■ My <]ear Mrs Blake!"' I exclaimed, holding' her somewhat more firmly than was absolutely necessary, "whatever is ail this?"

I 'Tot. sure I don't know," said she, with less self-possession than I had ever noted in her -voice. "1 was following you over the grass, when suddenly something—something soft—fell down in front of me, 3nd I stumbled over it." Then she 'laughed. "1 think I've come about twenty feet," 6he added, ,trying to recover my balance, and —well, here I am!' So that was it. In their panic William and Alfy had foully deserted Henry John! I need not dwell upon what immediately followed. Mrs Enoch Blake was tea years my junior, and—if I may be permitted the expression—as charming as her two daughters Tolled into one. (Which was precisely what I was upon the point of telling her, when we turned and saw uhe illuminated heads." The following morning we. took a long walk, and on our return, came snddenly, at a'little distance from the house, upon

William, Alfy, and Henry John, standing by the roadside in a -cow. They _ had a chastened air. One glance at their preternaturally serious countenances was enoiiL'k to inform me that the rout of the prevfous evening -had left its mark. .1 w::s convinced that they would not say ''lKi, fudge'" on this occasion. ■■Hello, William! Hello, Alfy !" s:iid 1. "Hair-10-o-oh," they murmured, with ;i rising inflection in reply. "How are you to-day?" I asked. "Aw-w-1 wi-i-i-te," said they. "HeSo, Henry John.!" For a breath -Henry John surveyed us, his face convulsed with immature emotions. He was emitting little clumps of bnbbSe.3 from the corners of his mouth, like a crab suddenly disturbed in his meditations underneath a, stone. His turban had settled low over his eyes, partially blinding him, I think, and his scarlet dolman, but-toned ticrhtly over his heavy winter clothing, irave. him an air of almost perfect sphericity. Of a sudden lie swayed toward us, and" fell massively on his face in- the dust. The next instant 'his .wailing smote the au "- , •-, , . i "It seems to me, said tne mosi. clurming woman in the world, "that I have somewhere heard that sound before. Do you know, if this top-heavy child hadn't absolutely flung me into your arms. I believe you would have proposed for cne of the girls after all?" "Perhaps," I answered. "All 'die same. God .bless you, 'Henry John!" _ "Wa-a-a-ah' Hoo-00-00-oo! Wa-a-n-a-ah!" said Henry John.