SMILE AWHILE

New Zealand Times, Volume LIII, Issue 12406, 27 March 1926, Page 16

SMILE AWHILE

Boy: Father, what doe* a "mean" man mean? Father: A mean man is a man with means who means to keep theml • • * » A retired linen draper, posing as an authority on geography, visited school °? e A 3? wlt ’ l the intention of putting the hftli standard through their facings, in the geography of Europe: “What is the capital of ’Olland?” he began. ‘Hi’ was the crushing reply ‘from the smart boy of the class. * • » e "How do you do. my dear?" said the pompous old lady to the shy little girl cMd m poiiteiy: tdank you >" repliod the sa j 1 old !ady, with a frown, why don t you ask mo how I am t “Because I don’t really want to anow, the child answered, simply. “And why," asked the master,* "is the Taronga Park giraffe’s neck so long?” , Please, sir," answered little Johnnie, its head is so far from its •-• » . . "Were you ringing the bell, sir?" inquired the waiter of a customer who had been busy with the bell for IS minutes or more. “Ringing it, man?" echoed the enstomer, I have been tolling it. I thought you were dead." Husband: Salvage’s have just tent me there! 1 dldn 4 hof w got anything Wife: Oh, yes, dear; I got your Christmas present there • • * • Bridget: Please, ma'am, the eras stovn goes out. Mistress: Well, Bridget, light it again. ,Bridget: Cant nut am, it's cone out through the roof. * T

The teacher reading about a shepherd who went alter a loot iaino during a minding snowstorm, and eventually lound the creature, nail frozen, xaiung ott his coat, tne shepherd wrapped it round the iamb anu carried, it bKck to the fold, where it soon revived. “Now," said tne teacher to the class! can any ot you tell me of any similar acts of Kindness?" “Yes, miss," piped a small voice. “I heard lather say he’s going to put his shirt on a honse to-day." Gushing Hostess: Thank you so much, Mr Krasxoffski, for your beautiful playing. What do you think of the piano? -thanist: Ah. madam, Ido not, in Englmh, know how to politely express, but if it were an automobile, it is what they call in America "the Elizabeth of tin." • . . . Domestic: I "hear that you need a cook ? Mistress: Thank yon, but I have just engaged one. Domestic: Very well, I J II call again tomorrow. At the local lecture the epeaxer said fervently: "He drove straight to his goal. He looked neither to the right nor -to the left. All who crossed his path did eo at their peril. What would you call such a man?" “A lorry driver!” shouted a voice from the audience.