THE CULT OF RUDENESS

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 7355, 6 February 1911, Page 9

THE CULT OF RUDENESS

Time •was when the question of how to avoid being rude was the subject oi much anxious discussion. With every wish to escape ruffling those with whom we cam© into contact, it was difficult

enough to be entirely blameless. It was agreed that on all bands were pitfalls aud that the safeguards of tact and eeitsubordination should bo warily strengthened; but no on© sxiggosted that we should hav© no wish to avoid the pitfalls, but rather take delight in plunging into them. We have changed all that, however. To be able to bo adequately rude is the highest mark of assured position nowadays, a mark of the most exquisite culture and the most fastidious discrimination. People who lay claim to all these qualities are not dissatisfied if they can add the prestige of being "the rudest woman in London.” how can security of position be better asserted tl an by pushing aside those who stand on a more precarious footing? How can refinement be better shown than by refusing to recognise any claims in those wli/o fall below our own exalted standard ? The untimely visitor, the shy acquaintance, who says the wrong tiling out of sheer nervous trepidation, the aspiring individual whose place in the social scale, whoso familiarity with social shibboleths, is below the mark, the failure,' the man or woman who is so unlucky

as to be rather prosy or second-rate, as many worthy souls are, the poor relation, distinguished by those traits which dear Charles Lamb satirised, not all 'un-

kindly, need expect but short shrift. Observe the nobody who has been allowed to enliven the tedium of some Gorman watering-place, and who advances with beaming expectation to pursue his advantage in town; lie will be lucky indeed if it is not made plain to him that the elect are once more on their own ground, whore they do not want and will not have him. This sort is discourtesy is not the outcome of awkward or ignorant brusquerie, nor would its perpetrators defend the imperious insolence often shown to employees or shop assistants, who dare not answer back, though, goodness knows, this often follows in their train. On the contrary, the3 r pride themselves upon their charm of manner and can be attractive enough when all goes' well. The warmth within the magnetic circle is in sharp contradistinction to the chilling cold without. •

The set which leads the way in deliberate rudeness is on© that nobody has called dull. Its members include the rich, beautiful, and distinguished, men and women of wit, taste, and talent, with the will and the power to gather round them the best that society has to offer. They cajp, offer every kind of pleasure to those they Tike and can throw off the bird and whistle him back at their caprice. An idea has been expressed that democratic institutions are accountable for tho decadence in present-day manners, but go a little way below the surface of "high life” and you will still find anxious politeness flourishing. Go deeper still and 'the unselfish civility and consideration 'displayed in the packed meeting or on a crowded excursion puts to shame the more distinguished traveller or seat-holder, whose sulky looks on being disturbed once caused | someone to say that ‘‘you never saw a Christian in church, or a lady in a first-class carriage/' Wo are not concerned with the rebuke dealt out to the impertinent or the pushing. The grande dame has at ail times been (and long may sue continue to be!) equal to such an exercise of defensive power. The gentle ✓ have been icy, the kind impenetrable, but the rudeness of to-day is not directed so much against the toady and the climber, who is often persona grata when he or she j has climbed high enough, as against the weak and inoffensive. The attitude of uncounted members of society towards ! those whom they do not particularly like is softened by none of the restraining influences of a polite and considerate courtesy. This is, after all, the test. People are seldom tempted to be rudo to those thej- admire and whose acquaintance they find convenient. We sigh for the woman who with all her dignity does not know how to be rude, who is courteous l f ; nerhaps because of what is duo to others than because of old tradition and of what is due to herself. Such women still abound, indeed, and we are glad to think how many still uphold the tradition of high-bred English ladyhood; but among many others those traditions are weakening.

Above all, the girls of to-day are a by-word for bad manners. They are the true daughters of their mothers in their treatment of those they suspect of being of no importance. Who better can stare and exile a girl who does not belong to their "set” to a moral Siberia! As for older people who cross their path, who do not. justify their existence by giving balls, or driving a coach, or taking a house at Ascot, the contemptuous nod they receive, the bored response vouchsafed to any remark they, venture to make, implies that they are looked upon as scarcely human, and questions why they cumber the ground. It is no answer to say wo only ask to be let alone and to have the right to choose oui : own friends. We may hold with Voltaire that the whole world is full of people who are not worth knowing, and perhaps we do not gain much, intellectually or spiritually, from the mass of those with whom we come into contact: but to maintain consistent selection and exclusion we must cut and stab. No one can live, to his or herself, or even, if a man and woman.of the world, to a very small and restricted circle. * '

We think leniently of certain people, sometimes erring and reprehensivc enough, but. whose kindness of nature and love of being liked makes them charming to the most insignificant and prosy; but perhaps w© ought rather to chime in with the better-informed vicar's wife in "Mademoiselle Ixe,” who, when. Mrs Merriinan ventures the hope that her governess has religious principles because she Is "so polite and obliging and unselfish,” "But, my dear Mrs Merrjraan, what in the world has all that to do with religion?” Yet those who cannot endure that any dull or common element should enter their lives lose something after all. Nothing perhaps that they value; only a breadth of view, a depth of experience, 'that true touch with humanity which results from tolerance and large-hearted-ness.—'‘The Times.” ; HOUSEHOLD HINTS There is very little fixer! dirt that cannot be removed with salt and vinegar. Articles scorched in the ironing should bo laid in hot sunshine. This would remove a scorch that is not very bad. Coffee and tea aro rendered much more fragrant if made hot (not burnt all) before water is poured on them. Silk dresses should never be brushed, but ’should be .carefully rubbed with, an old piece of velvet kept for the purpose. ' Honey .should be kept in tho dark or it will granulate. To prevent kerosene lamps from smelling, put a tablesnoonful of salt into tho oil.

To ' Cleon Tarnished Silver.—Silver that is very tarnished mnv bn cleaned by nibbing first with whiting mixed to a paste with sweet oil. afterwards polishing with a clean cloth and dry whiting.

Ladies. Health is Power! It is synonymous with Beauty, Grace, and attractiveness. If you have lost Health. Viavi Methods will teach vou how to regain it. Viavi means the way to health. You can learn all about Viavi by purchasing the Guide Book, price 2s posted. By attending- the Free Health Talk every Tuesday Afternoon at 3 o’clock, or by personal interview daily 10 to 5. Viavi Booms, Panama Chambers, opp. D.LC. •