HUSBANDS AND THEIR WIVES

New Zealand Times, Volume LXXI, Issue 4366, 25 May 1901, Page 4 (Supplement)

HUSBANDS AND THEIR WIVES

WHAT THE LADIES SAY. “My experience is/’ said a married lady the other day. “husbands are nowadays not polite enough to their wives, although I have nothing very much to complain of. I have one particular lady friend whose husband before sho was married was the very personification of politeness itself; but now he is like the rest of the men, not given to too much charm in his manner towards his better half. “Even before I was married my husband would not permit nio to leave the room without his opening the door for me, and ho was continually showing me all these details of courtesy are now no prize go mujh coming from a man; cut all those details of courtesy are now no more. I am sorry to say it, hut there is hardly a trace left 'behind of the politeness he showed to me in all ways during our engagement time, but I have a good husband in every other way. “How long have I been married? Seven years. Gradually I saw his little attentions fading away, not through any fault of mine, I am sure, but simply. I believe, because my husband got tired of the constant repetition of little acts of politeness. “Some women will not permit their husbands to see that they notice any change in them; but all women do not act thus. In my opinion this lack of politeness leads in a great number of cases to connubial dissensions._ “How so ? Well because women bate ti be slighted, or neglected, as they think, particularly oy their husbauus, and one unkind word loads on to many. Married men are apt to take things for granted too readily, anu fail to see the necessity for showing to their wives that conspicuous attention, they meted out to them in prc-nuotial days. The slight is not intentional on their part, but they think it is too trifling now they are married. Women think differently.” • Another lady says : “Two of my sisters,” says-she, “and several of my intimate lady friends have been married within the last few years. “In the case of every one of them I have noticed that the courtesy and consideration which was shown to them in such profusion before the connubial knot was tied is now almost entirely absent.

“In tiio lover stage men seem to take a pleasure in doiiwr all they possibly can to save their sweethearts trouble of any kind, opening their umbrellas for them, helrring them across the road so kindly, buttoning their gloves, tying the shoelace that will persist in coming undone, helping her on with her cloak, and in endless other ways. “But now look on the otiier picture: not oven scant courtesy is shown tncin. Wives trad in - the wake of their Husbands when cut together. Before marriage she had only to ask whar _ such-and-such a thing was she saw in. the street as she leant upon Ins arm, and immediately there came streaming from

his lips a, Nuttall-like explanation of the thing she enquired about. Sho would hardly expect it now, so she doesn't a. k.

"Why cannot the romance of the cctffLuip days be carried through nicer marriage? I’m not married myself, or even engaged—that’s my fault—and I don’t think 1 ever shall be until I meet with a polite husband, in my travels. ■'You lords of creation get the idea into your great, heads that when once you have secured your prize the conquest is over. But with a woman the conquest is always going on. She wins her lover; now the wants to win her husband.

••But ho won’t help her. Ho won’t talk to her nicclv; won't tell her in lover-like language what ho has been doing during the day ; answers her qurs* tions in a mechanical tone; whde at one time ho was all eves and cars whenever she spoke, now lie looks over the ton of his newspaper and grunts monosyllabic replies to all she says. "Don’t yon think a woman feels diss appointed ? I daresay you men have yenr own reasons for dropping your politeness, as women have theirs for feeling hurt through it. but they can’t .stand the test of inquiry like a woman.

‘‘Girls when visiting their married relations are apt to notice this falling off in politeness on the part of the husband, and it docs not tend to make Ihem regard the married state with a vast amount of favour."