A PLEA FOR PRIDE

New Zealand Times, Volume LXXI, Issue 4366, 25 May 1901, Page 3 (Supplement)

A PLEA FOR PRIDE

(By “Marie,” in “The Lady.’’) According to the dictionary, pride is either “inordinate self-esteem” or “noble self-esteem,” and it has been said, “Pride is a term of reproach which we hurl at others, but a compliment w r e address to ourselves. ’’ How are we to discriminate between the two varieties? How is the one to be avoided, the other cultivated? Let us begin by reflecting that the worst kind of pride is productive of good to the world, though not to the possessor. Once a man or, woman becomes proud, either justly or unjustly, he or she has a character to live up to. The arrogant purse or position prou’d woman must be a trial to her intimate acquaintances, yet her big donations to charities, sweeping benevolences, even her extravagances, swell the measure of poorer folk's contentment. If she were not proud, she wmuld probably be mean, parsimony being a vulgar trait of character. She has to pay well for each inch of advance along tne social path, and the genuine ladies who make use of her influence or wealth on behalf of great causes will gradually teach her, by the example of their own quiet grace, to be less assuming. Tney will not smile in her face and scorn her behind her back. 111-breeding most often shows itself in behaviour to the vulgar, ine true lady owns a pride that will not stoop to criticise the deficiencies of those whom she acknowledges as close acquaintances. A few hasty words of ridicule may cssape her now and again on the subject, but she repents them swiftly within her soul, and feels humbled to charity by the discovery that ther lurks within herself a tendency towards the vulgarity of detraction.

Hero we have an instance of the worth of pride. The gushing friend, who pesters the object of her affections, the cold friend, who would be so much warmer were she less afraid .of being rebuffed, are equally wanting in pride, the first for obvious reasons, the second for lack of the self-confidence that pride gives. Pride is a kind of freedom, Tne woman who is rightly proud dees not fashion her conduct by her circumstances, or mould it according to the pattern of her social equals. She values her servants, protegees, tradesfolk, poor relations, Iriends, and superiors according to their individual worth, and treats them suitably, not needing to keep just the same sort of stiff nod for the poor and the sajn« beaming smile for the great. She would as soon ignore a IJuchess as a dressmaker—sooner, indeed, if the conduct of the former displeased her, and she approved the character of the latter—except that she would not condescend to the common vulgarity of cutting anybody.

Pride goes through life calmly; violent hates and overexuberant passions are foreign to it—not deep, strong passions, be it noted, but these are calm tea. We do not boast of tne love we feel most; wo do not prattle on about our highest ideals and ambitions; into these things pride has entered. There is no personal worth without pride, for, though humility is a virtue, it must exist side by side with attachment to our better selves. The persons who do net value their better selves are they who are satisfied with their lower selves. It must be so.

Pride cannot lie or cheat, either by small, unnecessary deceptions, or beating down the worth of goods by falseness c! face or depreciation of wage. It shuns the pettiness of spites and slanders, it is neither ashamed of work nor of its owner’s .small self-indulgences. Who has in; 1 the woman of in-ii!Sc;em pridt. v.-ho-e vanity suHVr- keen pai.i s •••■• i t .it.-" : no! <■:■-(' of her iiivriuii! »v« m-w - i • vis-We? Vei we ati A rir.ioariou u> her appear.iw ■ v,-;. ; I, in”! why tu-.-d ■i a- . n ■oet;o!i::ii(.r .w'.-''o' < (I. V: e-Ao ir - lire-'.' ’ 0.1 r. ■ or, Plt-liid! plea in ; peas ■;■ ■ .. r; ooaiii -11:in them, ■a. ■ ;; ii ail ihe weeds, ol worldly inetjuai- ;. v J.e ■:a‘.U"f of man and its dimly”; for ‘ a man is worth what he is worth before God, and nothing more.” It prevents our doing deeds of which we are ashamed, so does away with all need for blushing over those deeds we do. It binds us to our friends, preserves their confidences, hides the imperfections of the priceless, repels flatterers, makes us good citizens, earns a just popularity, inspires re-pect, and has entered largely into the composition of all heroes and heroines. This is the pride that is the foe of all ostentation, that “will often through right nobleness grow humble. And assert an inward honour by denying outward show.”