A PRINTER’S ERROR.

New Zealand Times, Volume LXXI, Issue 4319, 30 March 1901, Page 2 (Supplement)

A PRINTER’S ERROR.

(By J. J. Boll.) Mr Wellington. Buggies, of the cminon 1' haberdashery linn, Buggies and Blossom, was annoyed—extrouiely•annoyed. Up had given I'd to the Lung-chung-foo Mission Fund and now Ids contribution appeared in the Society’s printed list as a paltry five .shillings. It was deplorable. What would the people who knew him think? ’Deplorable?—why, it was disgraceful. Mr Buggies bent over his desk whereon lay the annual report containing the unfortunate list. “Tut, tut!” he, muttered, I haven t been so insulted in all my business career. Five shillings! Confounded carelessness! Hah I” ho exclaimed, as he turned the page.- “I might have known,” he muttered again. “A woman ia the treasurer. -A woman! Good heavens!” , . , . He flu rig the pamnhlet impatiently aside, and'turned to the correspondence of the morning. There was nothing to disturb him in-his comfortable private room, and the door, being skilfully deadened, allowed no sound to penetrate from the outer office. Moreover, the sanctum was situated at the hack of the building, thus securing immunity from the' noises of the city street. But Mr Buggies could not settle to his correspondence. He .made marks on the letters received—-marks for the guidance of bis clerks—then he Scored them out arid-made fresh marks without feeling satisfied that they were the right ones. His ruddy, pompous face twitched, ana ho frequently wrinkled his forehead and ran his ringed hand over his bald head. At last he pressed an electric bell which summoned a junior clerk from the counting house. “Is Mr Blossom in ?” he inquired. '“Just come in, sir.” “Well, ask him to step here for a moment.”

Almost immediately Mr Blossom made his axjpearanco. Although tho junior partner of the firm, ho was stouter than Air Buggies and was blessed with a loss pompous and much happier countenance. Indeed, Air Blossom was a spendthrift with his smiles, and the poorest joke was certain of earning his fat and hearty laugh. Air Blossom was always being asked to banquets because he encouraged the stodgy speakers with, his ready chuckle, which never failed to infect the drowsiest audience. “Morning,” said Air Blossom to his senior.

“Good morning,' good morning,” returned Mr Buggies, impatiently. “Would you mind attending to my work this forenoon, Blossom?” hb asked. “Certainly; I’ll do my best,” returned the junior with a cheerful smile. “Feeling ' dicky ?” lib' : inquired kindly. Mr Blossom could never resist a little slang. “I’m annoyed, Blossom, I’m annoyed/' replied, his partner, pursing his lips. “A most unfortunate thing has occurred. H’m!” ' “Dear, dear!”'said Mr Blossom, sympathetically. “Has that big purchase of silk been a mistake?” “No, no. It’s a personal matter. Blossom, a personal matter. Look here.” Mr Buggies opened the Lnng-chung-foo report at the page where ills name appeared, and placed his carefully trimmed forefinger nail on the exact spot. “Well?” said Mr Blossom, not comprehending. " “Do you think I’d give five shillings, Blossom, five'shillings?” inquired Mr Buggies sharply. , , • ~ “Ha, ha, hee!” , laughed the other gaily. ■ “You’re not such a fool. But it’s a piece of impertinence using your name,- isn’t it. There can’t be another Wellington Buggies, surely?” .

“Oil,” said the senior partner somewhat testily, “the name is mine right, enough. I gave tho society five pounds.” “I see,” said Mr .Blossom straightening his lips,’“there’s been' an error in printing the list.” “But what a dreadful error, Blossom, what a dreadful error!” “Oh, I shouldn’t ivorry about it, Buggies;' Mistakes will happen.” “But it’s an insult to me, Blossom, an insult to me.” “Nonsense, my dear fellow. Don t brood over it.” ; “I don’t intend to.' This very morn-

ing I’m going to call upon the treasurer, Miss—er— Mrs Frances Gay,’ and' demand an explanation and an apology.” “I wouldn’t, if I were yon, Buggies. I’d let the thing slide. It isn’t worth—- >) ' . »

“I’ve made up - my- mind, Blossom ; I’ve' made up my mind. I’m sure I’ve told you again and again that a woman is hopeless where business.is concerned.” “My wife ’’.began Mr Blossom. Mi- Buggies smiled indulgently, and said—“ Your wife, Blossom, is—ahem!—■ your wife.” • The junior partner laughed. _ - “And your wife,” he returned, “is—” , “Still to. be .discovered, . Blossom, still to be discovered.” ~ “Ha, ha, hoe i” , continued the other, who had been expiring. |or something to livugli at, and, finding: nothing, had laughed’at that. “Well, well,” said Mr Buggies, with stiff good humour. “I’ll soo you later. If there’s anything on. my desk you don’t understand, just; put it aside till T return.” He took his ' silk hat from its peg in the corner; smoothed it methodically, and .departed.'. , . “Buggies,” remarked Mr Blossom, when he-.was left alone, “Buggies ought to get married. He thinks too much of himself and his little bit o’ coin.’A wife would reduce his conceit and his purse. Ha, ha, hee!” After .which sage reflection, he applied himself to the papers before him, only stopping every _ five minutes or so to refresh himself with a chuckle. V • Mr Buggies'took the subway to the western station of the city, and ,thence

a .hansom to 14 Walgrave Terrace, the abode,, as indicated in the Lung-olnung- , ioo report, iFranoss Gay. On his 'arrival, he was shown into the drawingroom, while,rhi?! card was conveyed to , the lady of the; house.- He, had taken care to write' across the pasteboard “regarding the Lung-ohung-foo mission,” and, this prevented Mrs Gay from; won- , dering what ,business such an early call - might imply.;, She* did not keep- her visitor waiting tong, but, gave him just 5 time, to begin to, feel nervous and wish b. ; he bad,writtenia note instead of calling. .''..His l confidence, like that, which- carries ns'to the dentist’s doorstep, had commenced .to waver from- the moment he rang the' bell, and five mhiufces of solitude ' in- Mrs Gay’s 'drawing-room considerably altered Mr Buggies’s state of mind from that in’which he had left

his- office -half-an-hour previously. • “Good morning, sir,” said the lady, graciously,- as she entered the room with her visitor’s card in her hand. “Pray be seated.” “Good morning, madam, good morning.” returned Mr Buggies, sitting down, on a remarkably uncomfortable chair and knocking over a photo frame bn the little table at bis elbow. “Oh, don’t trouble,” said Mrs Gay, as the gentleman made several. vain attempts to replace - the-frame'in, its • pro-, pec position on the slippefy rosewood. "Very careless of me, madam, :,very careless,” he said; as he at last succeeded, in setting it up*and knocking*over a, Japanese ornarabnt. ri “You have called to see me in regard' to our mission,” observed Mrs Gay. “It is teally very kind of you.”

“Not at all, madam, not at all,” said Mr Buggies, hastily.

“I think we have your name on our list of subscribers already,” remarked the lady, turning up a pair of fine brown eyes, as if endeavouring to recollect the amount.

“You have, madam, you have,” said the gentleman. “In fact, that was what I called to see you about;.” ___ “How extremely kind of you, Mr Buggies! You have no idea how encouraging such. help is to us, and to me, the treasurer, especially. My late husband gave his life to, the society, and you can therefore uridorstand that my interest in its welfare is very deep.” “Was your husband in China?” asked Mr Buggies. “He died—was killed—there, within a year after our marriage.” “Dear, dear!” murmured her visitor, unable to Help considering how little effect grief had had upon the widow’s fair face. “Ho was much older than I,” she added, “but we were very happy in the few months wo had together.” “Dear, dear!” said Mr Buggies again. “But I must not take up your time,” said the lady more cheerfully. ‘T don’t know why I should liave spoken of myself.” “I am sure the mission must owe a great deal to you,” observed her visitor. Mrs Gay smiled l slightly. “Sonic people , say that a man would do my share of the work better.” “Not at all, madam, not at all.” “Ah, well, I’m afraid my business capacity is very limited.” “I’m sure it is nothing of the kind,” returned Mr Buggies, not a little surprised at his own gallantry. “It’s good of you to say so, I’m- sure. But, now, what can I do for you, Mr Buggies? Do you wish some particulars of the mission more recent than those included in the report? If so, I shall be delighted to read some letters " ’ -

“Ahem!” said ythe gentleman, “not exactly, Mrs Gay 1 . Tile fact is, I happened to be glancing through the report this morning, and I thought I should call upon you tjj jloint out a slight—ahem! —mistake.” “A mistake?” repeated the lady, a little anxiously. . v > “Well, you see, madam,” he said, taking the pamphlet .front his pocket, and opening it at the list of contributors, “you see my name down here for five shillings.” ' “Yes, Mr Buggies,” ; saidi the lady, nodding. ’ “Well, it should bo five pounds. “How good of you, how kind of you!” exclaimed the treasurer in a burst of gratitude. “Nob at all, madam', not at all,” murmured the contributor, a trifle confused. . “And so,” wentoniMrs Gay, you call, ed on me to pay me.the difference —four pounds fifteen shillings. Really, I can’t thank you sufficiently. Opr funds have been sadly redacted lately, and a few pounds are molt,, How thoughtful of yoii /Mr Buggies.” “Not,at all, maqaray not at all,” gasped' her visitor helplessly. “If all business! meffi were like you,” continued the wiifow, jjj?how much simpler our task would h>e‘. So- many say they will thinkand so many give us five put ns °nt of mind for everi ‘ jj.mncmber, too, how once we offended*<lße of our most generous contributors by overlooking a printer’s error which made his contribution appear only a trifle of wlxat it had really been.” “Indeed,” said Mr Buggies feebly.

“Yes; wasn’t it stupid of a middleaged man to-take offence! and make the society suffer because my poor eyes missed a single mistake?” . Her visitor blushed and was silent. • "But you/ Mr Buggies', 'make up for a trial like that.” “Not'at all, madam,, no tat all,” said th Unhappy gentleman, who was now reduced to the last rag of self-respeob. “Madam —Mrs Gay,” he managed to say at last, “can. you oblige me w r ith a pen and ink ?”

“Over here, Mr Higgles, you will find them,” she returned, indicating a writing table near herjjghaif.. The merchant' the room, and sitting down, proajjfced a Cheque book. He filled up a then, seemingly changing, his mind tore it into small pieces., .. . .. ; - ■• ■ “Mrs Frances it not?” he inquired," humbly, looking.at her. ■ , “Yes,-thank you,” she replied, smiling so sweetly; that his pen missed the inkpot. . A minute later he handed her the check. ••

“Five pounds! Fisty pounds! Oh! Mr Buggies!” The visitor stood up.,.- looking miserably nervous and limp. , j A tear shope, r in v thq widow's ’eye. “You are too' good,’’v'she said softly. ; “Not at all,: madam.,; not at all,” said Mr Buggies, crossing the. room again to secure his hat and gloves. A silence lay between them for ajjiriel period. , At last the man iphid Ins speech, “If I can he of any scrtice to you—ahem,!— to the society in future, will you kindly let me know?”-- h ;

“Oh, thank youjj'thank you,” replied Mrs. Gay. . .: “And,”; stammered Mr Buggies, “I should be glad tok^er—hear now and then how' matters ave^-er— progressing.” . “I . shall vbe -pleaded'to see you any, day,” returned the lady gravely. “But perhaps you would like ,to be on our committee. I could mention—

“No, no,” he said, /hastily. “If yon will be' so good as to-—cr —let mo call occasionally,'l shall be; satisfied and—er —grateful.”, . , 1 “Very well,” said the widow, holding out a pretty white hand. ■ “I don’t know what to say. to-yon, Mr Buggies; you have been so kind.” ; * -“Not at.allv madam/mot at all,” 'said Mr Buggies; feeling and refraining from obeying a wild 1 desire,' to fling himself on’hiiS: knees before this*charming, sweetfaoedi , woman, and .confess the .’mean spirit that had led him to her-house. He . was glad and. yet sorry when the door, closed behind him, and when he entered his office half-an-hour later it was with a subdued air, that caused his clerks to sneculate whether he had come from a bankruptcy meeting or a funeral. Albeit, the morning had 1 witnessed the failure of bis purse-pride and the death of his self-conceit. ■-

He found Mr Blossom still busy in the private room. : . “Well,” said the jufiibr partner, "‘giye her beans?” VI found Mrs Gay to'be quite a capable 1 business woman,” returned Mr Buggies, -rather freezingly.' Then he thawed suddenly.' '“The fact? is,”-Blossom,-'; the fact-is, that I’m: an, ass. ■ I nearly behaved abominably this - forenoon;' I’m ashamed of myself, Blossom, I’m ashanu ed-of. myself.”

* “Ha!” began Mr Blossom, and checked himself. . “I thifik' I’ve done! all I can,” he ‘said setiousfty: those letters under the weight you' ’will understand better yourself. Pm going out for lunch.’’,' ; 1 ..' ,'‘,f , - “Ha! ha!* hoe!”' clihekled' the junior-as-..he, went down., stairs.. : ‘Tt -Buggies isn’t:caught at. last, I’ll'eat my hat;” ■';',Andl'less..tbau‘.a- .tear later Mr Blossorn'did have to purchfise a new silk hat, hut not because he had devoured an old QUO. *