ECHOES OF THE WEEK.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1425, 22 June 1899, Page 31

ECHOES OF THE WEEK.

" Satire's my weapon, but I'm too discreet To run amuck and tilt at all I meet.” —Pope.

BY SCRUTATOR. i

Hearty congratulations to Captain Spinks, of the Talune, and Chief-engineer Dalrymple, of the same boat, upon the sale towing into port of the long lost Perthshire. It was “Scrutator’s” good fortune, on a recent trip to Sydney, to make the personal acquaintance of the Talune’s “skipper” and “chief,” and two real good fellows he found them. I can only express. a hope that to the *ku per and officiers of the Talune the “rescuing” of the Perthshire means a substantial increase of worldly pelf. At the same time one can sympathise with the feelings of the Perthshire’s engineers, who, when thing,® were comparatively speaking, “straightened up,” and the much tossed about vessel was making for a safe haven at the rate of 4$ knots an hour, had the mortification of seeing their ship “assisted” when assistance, according to the engineers, was not needed. . Curious to notice the eulogies showered upon the captains of the two steamers. As a matter of fact it is the engineer who. nine cases out of ten. can save * v lose a vessel. I would not for one moment depreciate the efforts of the respective skippers of the Perthshire and the Talune, hut it was upon the engineers of both boats that lay the chief responsibility, and to whom the most praise ought to be awarded.

Shutters go down at the Talking Shop on Friday, and what promises to he a stormy session will commence. It is to he feared that the proceedings all through will be of a more than usually acrimonious character. The Opposition, assisted by the Left Wing, have apparently come to the conclusion that in default of better and fairer weapons of attack, personal abuse shall be used. Now if this sort of thing is to be the rule on the Opposition side, and judging by recent speeches it is, I shall not be surprised to see the rank and file of the Government party take a hand and return the Opposition a Roland for their Oliver. Slangwhanging is not a pretty game to play, but when the provocation is great, it is sometimes excusable. Last session the Government party sat quiet under a storm of abuse, and treated the many malicious, personal attacks made by the Oppositionists with contempt, holding it their chief concern that the business of Parliament and of the country snould be impeded as little as possible. The Opposition, encouraged by the applause of its staunch press supporters, who cover the Premier with gross personal abuse, and who whine about “personalities” when Mr Seddon hits back, have, in their recess speeches, gone beyond the bounds of all decency in the malice and mendacity of iheir statements concerning the Government and its administration, and if they intend to follow the same tactics in the House that they displayed on the public platform they must not grumble if the Government supporters put their backs against the wall and retaliate to some purpose. It will be deplorable indeed if such a state of affairs should come about, but the responsibility will lie with those who first began the mud throwing game.

Another Conservative, Mr Morrison, is out for Otaki. True the smart young Wellington lawyer dubs himself an ‘lndependent,” but Independent to - day spells Conservative. Mr Morrison las got off the usual cant about “corruption,” and being a glib, smooth spoken member of the legal profession, will doubtless have much to say for himself. It may tie questioned, however, whether a limb of the law, who derives most of his practice from native land transactions, is the best representative for a farming communitiy. Mr Field, the sitting member, is a farmer himself and knows the requirements of a farming constituency. Otaki will,, I fancy, prefer Mr Field, a modest and unpretentious but sensible and, in the interests of his people, most energetic member, to either a city lawyer, like Mr Morrison, or an amiable nonentity such as Mr Bradey. Mr Morrison would do well to stop at home. He is only wasting his money and time in contesting Otaki.

The general manager of the Bank of New Zealand has given a point blank denial to the ridiculous statement made by Mr McLean, the member for Napier, namely, that Minsters could overhaul the bank’s books, and pry into the financial position of the bank’s customers. The Premier, too, at Woodville, gave Mr McLean a well-merited castigation.

It is to be hoped that as soon as parliament meets some member will raise the question of admittance to the Ladies’ Gallery of the House. Under the present system members are daily pestered for tickets by hosts of women, many of whom only use the gallery as a place for gossiping. The sitting accommodation is largely monopolised by a horde of local socalled lady politicians—on both sides—the result being that ladies from the country who happen to be visiting Wellington find it very difficult to get admission. It would be far better in every way to reserve seats for members’ wives alone and throw open the remainder of the seats to any l respectable women who wish to hear the debates, the seats being allotted oa the same principle which pre-

vails in the men’s gallery, namely, “first come first served."

Whilst on the quesiipn of “strangers” another point which calls for remark is the annoyance caused by a certain class of persons who manage to obtain seats in what is known as “ the floor of the House.” Last session, certain prominent prohibitionists made a. practice of frequenting the House and were in the habit of shattering loudly and making offensive remarks as to such members whose attitude on the liquor question was not on all fours with their own. The officers of the House were singularly lax in their reproval of such conduct, which should but does not, result in the immediate expulsion of the offenders.

New South Wales has vrded F, deration but the majority is not so large as it might and ought to have been. A citizen section, in Sydney echoed its provincialism and fear of losing the Federal capital by a big vote on the side of the “ Noes” but the “ Ayes ” were triumphant and in the country district the victory was an easy one. Mr Rood has had an anxious time, but to use his own expression, he has come out “on top.” It now.*remains to be seen whether the Legislative Council will accept .the ♦ ;to li.s .vo itiiiig the mailer or whether it will assert that the majority is not large enough and indulge in further obstruction. It is to be hoped that the Council will now give way, for in view of the result of the referendum, the Governor would almost assuredly agree to the upper house being further “swamped." if necessary, by federation supporters. The result of the voting will be a bitter disappointment to the" Sydney “Daily Telegraph,” and a serious blow to the influence and prestige of that journal, for the “ Telegraph ” has gone “baldheaded” against the bill, and exhausted every possible means—including some rather “lowdown” devices—to stir up a spirit of narrow provincialism and so prejudice the people against the measure. On the other hand the polling is a big victory for the “ Bulletin,” which throughout the campaign has done splendid service for the Federationists. It is often charged against tho “-Bulletin that it is always destructive in its criticism of big measures. On this particular issue, however. the “Bulletin” has exhibited a truly patriotic spirit, and that too, in spite (if the fact that much of its advertising support comes from Sydney. Reid can well afford to forgive the “ Bulletin” its jibes at his “Yes” “No” atttitude; when the paper considered the Premier was on the right tack it gave him a most loyal assistance.

The Transvaal position is most serious. Whether the Boer “plan of campaign,” published by the “St. James’s Gazetce,” be correct in every detail or not, no one can doubt that the Boers could make things remarkably unpleasant, for a time, at least, for the Britishers, and espoc div for the (Jutlander capitalists. Railways are all very well as means of transport, but when they pass through a country full of open sympathisers with the enemy, a country too, where, owing to mining operations, explosives can easily be procured, the chances of their being rendered useless are very great. And there is no mistaking the fact that the Boers are receiving moral support from the Afrikander element in the Cape Colony. The attacks made upon Sir Alfred Milner by the Dutch press of the “Old Colony” prove this, and the silence of Mr Hofmeyr, the president of the Afrikander Band, and leader of the Dutch party in the Cape Colony is most significant. A good job it is that German capita lists are interested in the Kimberley and Rand mines, for it is this influence which is having its effect upon the attitude of the Kaiser, who, for once at least, is trying to assist rather than to embarrass Great Britain. There is evidently an uneasy feeling abroad, not only in London, where it has long ago found expression, but at the Cape, that the British forces in South Africa are far from being so numerous as they might be. The Boers may not be numerically strong, but almost every burgher is more or ies® trained to arms, and although Joubert’s braggadieio about being master of Capetown within a fortnight or so after the declaration of war may be largely discounted, it is absurd to imagine that “Oom Paul” could be easily “smashed” as the Jingoes put it. On the contrary, it would be a guerilla war, and a long and a costly one. Mr Chamberlain knows this or otherwise he would not be so long suffering as lie is. At the same time, even at the risk of a bloody war, a war too in which, through mixed marriages, father might be against son and son against father, as was the case during the awful struggle between North and South in the States, it is impossible that Kruger can be permitted to defy Great Britain. Something will have to be done, and done quickly, for business at Johannesburg is paralysed, and British prestige in South Africa is seriously threatened.

If the enterprising citizens of America are to be judged by current events it is obvious that Mr Kipling’s appeal to them to “take up the white man’s burden” is being answered with characteristic wholehearted enthusiasm —that is, of course, assuming that the preliminary step is to be the extermination of men of another colour. First of all we have the spectacle of tne ruthless slaughter of Filipinos now going on around Manilla. Where this is going to end it is impossible to tell. The natives show no signs of any wish to submit to General Otis, and, apparently, it will be necessary to kill

off every man, woman and child on the islands before the invaders can consider themselves in possession. That at leart is the opinion of many eminent military authorities in the United States. Whether this butchery is part and parcel of t’ e burden white men have to boar in the march of civilisation may possibly be open to argument. Britishers have done the same thing often enough before—in Matabeleland and the Soudan for instance. But tho American does not go to the same trouble as John Bull, who when he wishes to test the efficacy of a. new machine gun tries it on some remote sav.-.ge tribe. Uncle Sam deals with niggers on Union soil with equal ferocity and despatch.

Confirmation of this was given in a horrible form on April 30th, at Newman, in Ohio, where a negro named Sam Hose, charged with murdering a fanner and outraging his wile, was actually burned at the stake ! The details of this atrocity are blood-curdling in the extreme. Before the torch was applied to the faggots surrounding the wretched victim, his ears, fingers, and other portions of his body were cut off. Hose confesse 1 to the murder of Crawford, and said he was hired to commit the crime, but he denied having outraged ids wue. Bel ore tho body was cool it was cut to pieces, the bones being crushed info small fragments. Even the tree to which the negro was chained was torn up and divided, the pieces being carried off as souvenir.:. A yelling mob of 2000 people wore present, and they threatened Mr Atkinson, a former Governor of the State, who implored them to let the law take its c ursc, with death. Two other negroes have since been lynched, one because ho was implicated in the crime for which Hose was burned; the other because he declared that the death of every negro should be avenged. It may be doubted whether the Americans are quite the sort of people to extend the blessings of civilisation to coloured races. The news of the latest lynching atrocity has produced a. painful impression abroad, though it is not the first time a man has been burned alive under the stars and stripes. The peopie of the Northern Stales are powerless to suppress such outrages, as would he done in any other civilised country in the world. But, unfortunately, they have to share in the disgrace.

Whatever blame may be attached to Mr Reid for his “Yes',’ “No” attitude on the Federation, even bis bitterest opponents never rail to admit his command of ready repartee and genuine wit. Two good stories of the humorous readiness of the New South Wales premier are told by \Yoomera in the “Australasian”: YVhen the land tax was under discussion in the New South Wales Legislative Assembly, an lion member, who is notorious for conviviality and often finds himser in conflict with the Chair, opposed the tax on the ground that it was a class tax. and allowed many persons to escape. “If,” he said, “I invest my money in land and improve it I pay the tax, but if I invest my money in mines I (scape taxation altogether. “ Oh, no. you don’t,” interjected the Premier m his la/y drawl. “I defy the Premier to show how I shall pay any tax.” ‘Oh, yes, you will.” “The Premier is misleading the House. Now, I ask once more, shall I be called upon to pay any taxation under the circumstances I have stated ? Let the Premier show me if he can.” “I can prove it quite easily,’ came that high-pitched and penetrating drawl once move, “You will pay it on the item ‘Narcotics and stimulants.’ ” When the House had recovered itself the orator passed to another branch of the subiect.

Here is another story of Mr Reid’s wit. He was going home by one of those late trams which the Government runs at all hours for the convenience of members, when a well-known member said to him, “ Hullo, Reid. Lend me a shilling, will you, I haven’t got a coin in my pocket.” “Ah,” said the Treasurer, “You were not in the House to-night, but I can see you have heard of the surplus already.”

I am glad to see that the Wellington Stipendiary Magistrate intends to put Jus foot down upon that ridiculous practice of letting habitual drunkards spie.ers and, other offenders against society go scot free of punishment provided that they only “clear out.” D has always struck me that this sort of procedure was extremely unfair to the decent, law-abiding people of other districts. Why should they have this city’s residuum unloaded on to them? As a colony, New Zealand objects verv strongly to the riff-raff of" the Old World being shot out on her shores, and on the same principle the country settlers may very well object to Wellington wastrels being cleared out of town as a. solo off-set to their misdeeds. Mr Hasclden will earn the thanks of the country districts if he sticks to his determination and puts an end, at any rate so far as Wellington is concerned, to a very stupid custom.

One of the small miseries of life, even to the middle-aged and unsentimental, is to misplace or lose a letter of any importance, but all who have passed through “love’s young dream” and awaited with breathless expectancy a missive from the only Edwin, or the only Angelina, will sympathise with the young gentleman who advertised in the “Post’’’ the other evening as follows:--* “LOST, a parcel of Love Letters, signed “Rhoda,” addressed to “Sam,” between Oriental Bay and Courtenay

place; finder please write ’Evening Post.’” Poor Sam and poor Rhoda! One can imagine their agitation at the Joss. Be Rhoda the most amiable of maidens — and for Sam’s sake 1 trust she is—.she would be tempted, I fear, ;o rate tho delinquent pretty severely for his carelessness, for even in this age eff publicity the fin de siccle maiden would hardly view with equanimity the idea of a scoffing and satirical outside world perusing the heart out-pourings intended for the sole edification and delighting of the only Sam. Poor Sam, be will get a wigging, but if he be *i.~e, he will take it in good part and console himself with the. thought of the very pleasant “making up” which will follow.

In one of the Fourth Standard Readers in use in this colony there is an account of the burning of the trainingship Goliath on the Thames. A teacher had given the reading lesson, and then, trying to find the extent of the children’s knowledge questioned them and elicited the following facts : —That it was about the burning of the training-ship Goliath cn the river Thames; that the vessel was called Goliath after a giant mentioned in the Bible who was slain by David with a pebble. “Now can any of you tell me where David got the pebolcs?” “Out of a brook, sir.” “Now, who can tell me what the name of the brook was ?” Only two hands went up, the teacher choosing a little girl who was very eager, “Well, you!” “The Thames, sir!” Collapse of teacher and class. “Lex” sends me the following story : A school teacher not a hundred miles from Palmerston was in conversation with liis chairman and another settler. The subject was the Old Age Pension Bill. In the course of his remarks the settler quoted Carlyle’s idea in Sartus Resartus, namely to have them (paupers) out for the military to practise on and then pickling them for tho navy. The Chairman chimed in, “Was that Carlyle of Woodville?” Collapse of settler and schoolteacher. But the jcko did not finish there; the teacher wrote it out just as above and took it to the editor of what was once the Liberal, organ but now Left Wing trumpet and showed it to him, thinking it was worth publishing. The editor carefully read it through and then without a smile on his face said. “Oh, Carlyle of Woodville, but that is not the way he spells his name. I know him well.” And the sad look on his face brought tears to the teacher’s eyes. The Rev Charles M. Sheldon, author of “ In His Steps,’ recently received the degree of D.D., and travelled over TOGO miles for the “parchment.” “ One feels like asking,” says a. cruel contemporary, “is that what Jesus would have done?”