A Bog in the Manger.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 998, 17 April 1891, Page 4

A Bog in the Manger.

Oooe upon a time a dog made his bed upon tbe hay io a manger. An ox came to partake of the hay but the dog would not let him eat. i'l e dog could not eat the hay himself, but be was of such a churlish nature that be prevented the ox from taking wbat be require^. An old fable, a pretty fiction, but conveying poignant pith and truth. We have not far to search for‘dogs in the manger’in society now a-days. ‘ Weka ’ writes me a long letter on a case in point. ‘ Weka ’ has t wo sisters who, with herself, are of a marriageable age, and being three attractive girls are looked upon with favourable eyes by the eligible young men of the district. Unfortunately, amongst their intimate acquaintances is one of tbe ‘dog in the manger ’ type—a selfish, unfeeling, narrow-minded, obstinate fellow, who persists ia paying equal attentions to each of the three sisters, month after month, without giving tbe slightest hint as to which one he is most attached. Now this is a most awkward condition for these three girls to he placed in, and no wonder ‘Weka’ is perplexed and anxious to know what to do under the circumstances. This churlish admirer is but one of the many young men of his type. They admire a girl and they have sufficient empty-headed vanity to suppose that their attentions are superior to anyone else’s. As a rule they are not too bashful to tell a girl that they not only admire her but love her. Bashfalnees can hardly ba considered one of their virtues. They are avaricious ; they want a girl all for themselves, but, aa in the case ia point, they don’t mean ‘business,’ and they are too stupidly eelfish to allow others to make gdvancea. Of course, such action is not characteristic of a true gentleman. No true man would be guilty of absorbing equally the attentions of three sisters at the same time. He may be most attentive to them in a friendly way, but to pay such attention as to ' lead each girl separately to believe that it is she and she alone whom he comes purposely to visit, ia the conduct of—pardon the expression —a cad. * What is a girl to do In such a case ?’ asks ‘ Weka,’ plaintively. Well, that depends upon circumstances. Let us suppose for the moment that this young man in question, whom I will call Jack, is an eligible young man, that is, he is a man whom ‘Weka’ thinks suitable for her future husband, and, moreover, let us suppose that ‘ Weka’ really loves him. Then I hold it is clearly the duty of ' Weka’ to bring him to the point. If there is no brother handy or if papa declines the offioe, then ‘ Weka’ should try to enlist the services of her nearest male relative, for it is imperative that tbe momentous question should be put to the young man, ‘ What are your intentions, sir?’ ' Weka’ should give him a pretty Bfcrong hint—and I have no doubt she caa do it—that the present course of affairs is hardly satisfactory, ft is a girl’s duty to see that no man trifles with her affections, and that

her future life may be a happy one. Under present circumstances it will perhaps he best for * Weka ’ to speak out pretty plainly. If Jack has any spark of true humanity within him ; if he is a man and a gentleman he will not object to ‘ Weka’ speaking plainly to him'.- As the eldest sister it is clearly the duty of * Weka’ to demand the reason of his attentions to her younger sisters. As a woman admires a man for plain, bold speech, so does a man respect a woman who is not afraid to speak her mind openly to him. It is this fear of plain speaking that has wrecked so many lives. • WebaV great trouble is that there are c%her eligible men who would come to woo, but who are deterred by Jack’s persistency and obstinacy. Jack visits the house night after night and sits amusing himself hour after hour and never seems to moan business. He has been given gentle hints and plenty of opportunities, but he is a ‘ dumb dog ’ so far as matrimonial offers are concerned, while other and more presentable men are kept out in the cold in the street, kicking their heels in desperation against the kerbstone, and, I am afraid, using harsh, unkind words of Jack. Jack is one of those social pests for whom it is best to have a muscular big brother or an athletic cousin close at hand. Moral suasion is all very well, but there are times in life’s history when a brawny arm and a sinewy leg have more persuasive force than the elegances of speech. To sum up in a few words, my advioe to ‘ Weka’ is—show this article to Jack, and get him to read it in yonr presence. If he is a gentleman—that is, a man and true,’ the proper definition of a gentleman—he will at once declare his mind or for ever hold his peace, and make room for a better man. Dora.