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New Zealand Mail, Issue 810, 9 September 1887, Page 23

“ Dockder,” he said casually to a physician whom he met on the street, “ I’ve god a bad cod in my hed. What would advise me to do ?” And the doctor, who doesn’t give 'something for nothing when he can help it, replied: “I would advise you to buy a dozen pocket-handkerchiefs and then consult a physician.” “ Did ye read the Prlsidint’s missage, Pat ?” “ No, I did not.” “ Sure ye ought. He gives good news of Uncle Mike an’ his familyin Ould Ireland.” “Does he, though? An’whot does he say of thini?” “Sure he says our foreign relations are all right.” A German writer haa found that the present year is the hundredth anniversary of the birth of the waltz. It was born on the opera stage at Vienna. Queen Victoria’s salary is £355,000. On 21st June she will have drawn that salary for fifty years, or about £19,200,000. This sum is simply what is paid to the Queen, exclusive of what the members of the Royal Family and their establishments have received. During the same time the total sum paid to all the American Presidents has only amounted to £325,000. Akvice to Mothers !—Are you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mbs Winslow’s Soothing Syi-.up. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly harm, less and pleasant to taste, it produces natural, quie sleep, by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes “as bright as a button.” It soothes the child, it softens the gums, allays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Mrs "Winslow's Soothing Syrup is sold by Medicine dealers everywhere at Is l£Jper bottle.