LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23097, 23 July 1938, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

By MERCUTIO =

Beware of the Snakes THERK fire at present no fewer than nine Nationalist aspirants for Kden electorate, (piite apart from the Labour, Independent or Country Party candidates who may later enter the field. It is difficult to determine why this particular corner of (Jod's own country should be so favoured unless" it is because of the visions conjured up by its very name, visions strengthened by the fact that there is no woman there at present, nor any apparently trying to get in. Therefore, it should prove a real C;\rden of Eden to the lucky Adam who finally forces his way in. Hut when he gets there he must remember that, although there is no Eve, quite n l () t snakes n<ive been caught in New Zealand lately, and there may be one in his garden. The Latent Catch X new infinite is in the air— Do von know:-" or general knowledge tests. They are not so bad when thoy are in magazines or newspapers where erne can conceal one's ignorance; hut thev are not so gOod when thoy are propounded by a wise person ill companv. One Auckland group had this question thrown at it. ostensibly to sett to a wager. Is a shopkeeper bound by law to accept the marked price or an article displayed in a window.*' AM answered "Yes" except the learned mail oil the law who averred that the price tag was merely an ofler which the shopkeeper was not compelled to take. Which suggests a ready answer when next the wife speaks of bargains.

School Inspectors The behaviour of a group of normally high-spirited schoolchildren who travel to a suburban school in a bus underwent a sudden change one morning last week and throughout the whole of the journey they were little models of correct deportment. The reason was not far to seek, a rumour having arisen that inspectors were due that morning, and when an elderly gentleman in a bowler hat entered the bus the children did not find it difficult to connect the rumour with him. After sitting quietly without saying a word during the journey they entered the school with fear and twpidation. Their teacher asked the reason for their nervousness and it must unfortunately be related that good behaviour was very quickly forgotten when they were told that the rumour was unfounded.

Fooled Again Legal circles are chuckling over the experience of a young lawyer, who was called to a house not far from Auckland, where an aged Maori woman was said to be dying. He found the woman, very* old and weak, lying on a bundle of blankets near the fire, and in the background a large group of natives was squabbling. Being unable to understand Maori, he asked what they* were discussing, and to his horror, was told that they were already* arguing over the disposal of the old woman's estate. Ho completed the drawing of a will for the woman, and left, thoroughly* shocked at such mercenary and callous behaviour. It was some consolation for him. but little for the relatives, when the woman recovered

An Old Habit The ancient habit of stopping to look into the sky if one man is already casting his glances that way and of ciueiieing up into a string if a few folk have started to get into line led a number of men and women to confusion at the Chief Post Of lice this week. A man in-

tent on paying his telephone rental went into the office with a friend, who stood alongside him in a queue of about a dozen. Jiv the time he was ready to proffer his' bill, the payee discovered that his friend's position had encouiaged a number of other persons to form into a second lino behind bun. When the bill was paid and the pair or them moved away there was a supplementary queue with nowhere to go but back to the. end of the correct one. Choosing a Bishop It was not always that the selection of a bishop has gone through the strict and rigid processes that were in evidence with the appointment to the diocese of Waiapu this week. Time was when bishoprics were matters of royal and other favour and even had a price. "1 could get more for a bishopric, one scion of "the royal house remarked a couple of centuries ago when a cash offer of assistance was under discussion. And again, "What a leg for a gaiter was said of ft beau. Tn spite of the "good old days" we do things much better in these times. Learning Golf The novice was being initiated into the fine art of hitting a small ball with a club, and although his knowledge was only sketchy, his enthusiasm was nnbounded. \Vitli cojnniendflble zc«U lie was obeying every instruction of the professional, but he could not be cured of the tendency to regard the shot as finished as soon as he had hit the hall. The nicer point of following through completely evaded him. In desperation, the pro bellowed, "Throw it awav from you." Obedient to the end. the learner hurled it over a high partition into an Adjoining prnetiee room. «uid tinned to survey his mentor with the complete satisfaction of a job well done. Inhibition At long last the election is really beginning to lie organised, and at long Inst, the public is taking a real and | material. interest, in the very details I of the business. It seems that no stone lis to be left unturned this time, no avenue unexplored—and no tomato bush left unrobhed. The Dominion Council of the Tomato, Soft Fruit and Produce Growers' Association, which j hold a meeting in Wellington recently, ! is to ask the Government if it will | prohibit further importations of tomato | and raspberry pulp into New Zealand i the rhetorical question is will th«\\ I prohibit it before the election, or will ! they? | Tact During the snappiest cold of our most recent cold snap, all was quiet in an Auckland suburban home, when suddenly all became chaos, with the occupants. dashing to windows and exclaiming severally. Someone had seen snow ! falling—littie fine white wisps. No one I had seen snow before. r J his looked like it. Everybody gazed out of the drawingroom window again. They watched the marvel intently. They invited the grocer-boy in to make sure. He was English—he would know. "Looks like anythin' but. ma'am." he said. "More like y' blueg'm at the back losin' its flowers." What tact! It was. Where Appearance Counts Although she has beea married a year, an Auckland housewife looks particularly youthful, and in her morning attire, 'with an apron covering her frock, might bo taken for not a day over 15. She is duly grateful, as her home is in a street greatly favoured by casual hawkers. Twice in the last week she has opened the door to persuasive gc-ntrv, who have asked politely. "Is your mother in?" And twice she lias been able to reply, with truth and confidence. "No. I'm afraid not," gently but firmly closing the door.