UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXII, Issue 18996, 18 April 1925, Page 10 (Supplement)

UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR.

COMEDY OF REGISTRATION. SOME QUAINT ANSWERS. A certain amount of sympathy must bo extended to tho staffs at the offices which worked overtime in attend ing to the motor-registration papers. It was a dry-as-dust job, with here and there a laugh thrown" in by tho unconscious humour of the motorists. Here are some of tho particulars furnished by applicants regarding the situation of the garage : (1) Not yet built. (2) Next to bungalow facing the sea. (3) South-west. (4) North-east. (5) In vacant section. (6) In woolshed. (7) Back of house. And yet the officials were expected to decide the districts in which the garages were situated. Regarding the engine number, one applicant wrote " obloteratcd." When it came to the make of vehicle, ono man wrote " Chivilrea," another " f'hevrolette," and another "lin Liz. One applicant described his tyres as " puhmatic, hard." A motorist, in explaining the use, to which his bus was to be put, wrote "Conveyance of wife and family, etc. And here's a gem regarding the carrying capacity of a vehicle: " No tons, no cwt., no qrs. 70001b." A MINIATURE CAR. SUMNER BOY'S POSSESSION. An eight-year-old boy, Max Cheshire, who resides at Sumner, Christchurch, is the proud possessor of what is considered to be the smallest car in the South Island. Max owes his possession to tho painstaking ingenuity of his father, Mr.- A. A. Cheshire, engineer to tho gas and electricity department of the Sumner Borough Council. After eight months of work Mr. Cheshire has built a complete car in miniature, and tho vehicle is a creditable woik of art. The length of the car is sft. 9in., the height is 32in., the track 2ft. 9in., and the wheclbase sft. 3in. The chassis is made of steel tubing, full floating springs are provided on the rear axle, and a centre spring pivot in front. The engine is of one horsciKWer, developing 200 re\olulions a minute, and tho maximum speed is six miles an hour. The body is made of sheet iron, with a lead beading round the rim. It is painted I in red and black, and the streamline body has a torpedo nose. Leather is used for the two-seater upholstery work. I here are disc wheels for the 18in. by J.iin. pneumatic tyres. Steering-wheel control is provided, and all that is on the dashboard is the control for the electric horn. Tho clutch is so managed that when not in gear it automatically applies the brakes on the two back wheels. Starting is achieved by the. handle, and there are no running boards, but young Max tried to get his father to provide a long copper exhaust-pipe along the side " like the cars at Brooklands." The tank takes half-a-gallon, and the petrol consumption is 110 to 120 miles a «'allon. On the springs are shackles. The total weight is 1161b. If the drivergets. his bus into a ditch, all he has to do is to lift out'one end at a time. A week ago the car ran for about tiu-ee hours, but it was quite cool after the exertion. It is the joy of the children in Truro Street, just as it is to Max and Ins three-Year-old sister, Trixie. Max knows the rules of the road. his father took him out in his side-car often, and taught him what to do. Of course, it is only a toy, and the young driver is not allowed to "drive on the main streets.^ The car is named "The Cheshire f at, appropriately enough, and the mascot is a black cat, bewhiskered, and with a curly trill. But the smile is on the face of the This is the second .'mall car Mr. Cheshire has made. THE CARE OF TYRES. The life of tyres is frequently shortened bv the ingress- of water into the coid casing through small cuts caused by sharp flints or similar objects, remarks I lie Light Car and Cycle-car. I eriodical attention is well repaid in this respect. The outside of the cover should be cleaned with a wet rag, and the tyre then put in the open air to dry. toe point of a blunt penknile may then inused for extracting any Hints which may bo embedded in the tread. Any hole eft after extraction of the flints, other than a purely superficial one, should then be treated with one of the . recommended cements in order to stop future damage. Cuts of large size will frequently require vulcanising to effect a thorough and efficient repair. READERS' TROUBLES. "Exide," Te Puke.—The hydrometer is probablv at fauit. Acid 1150 gravity would show dead on test, but battery might perform well. I suggest trying another hvdromcter or new acid, and reiiiiive battery. Acid should show lAjU--1280 test. " , . . T.J.M., Waihou.—The English ratings in horse-power, calculated on R.A.C. formula. are:—Ford. 22.4 hp.; Dodge,24; Maxwell. 20.9; Buick Light Six, 21.6; Jewett, *5.6.