SHORT WAR STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LII, Issue 15930, 29 May 1915, Page 5 (Supplement)

SHORT WAR STORIES.

POOR CUBIST. Thet are telling a story of the sad fate that overtook .a cubist* painter, mar .a Rhine fortress. He was making a beautiful superfuturist portrait of a peasant girl when a patrol found-him. "V they thought his picture was tho } . i the neighbouring fortress, so they caot him. STILL'i SOUVENIR HUNTING. •i-7A's soldier -- just returned' from ••--'-somewhere in France" state* that the French peasants live still as anxious to secure regimental badges and' bottom from our men as ever they were.' Bui the badge most' sought after, he says, is that of the Royal Field Artillery, for the invtials, R.F.A., are those of tVe'allied Powers. To'the French R.F. A. stands for Rusfiic, France, A'igleterre. ~ "WE ARE PARTICULAR." •The cultured Hun is actually learning that' money is not everything. According to the Cologne Gazette a manufacturing concern in the Rhine Westphalian district sent a £250 order to Messrs, Hornet and Co., ofßienne. in Switzerland, for diamonds for technical purposes. Instead of sending the goods the Swiss firms wrote "La Maieon Roulet ct Cic. de Bienue, no qu'avcc le« pays civilises " (The house of Roulet and Co. only deals with, civilised countries). ;■..« A GENERAL PAU STORY. When General Pau, who'has just returned to 'Paris from a visit to Athens, Rome, and Warsaw, arrived at Nice he was accosted at the station by the Abbe C'repeanx,. of Notre Dame de Nice, The abbe was a iormer comrade of the general at the Military Academy of La Fleche. 'When the two old friends met they embraced affectionately, and the abbe asked: Have you still gut your pipe?" For answer the one-armed general produced from his pocket a fine old meerschaum, beautifully coloured. " And vou?" The "cure" immediately pulled out a similar pipe, to the amusement of everyone present. ENGLAND'S CHANGED ADDRESS. French soldiers in f.ie trenches have brought out several curious' newspapers. One of the funniest is called (Rigolbochc. Among its contents is the following:—"A telegram dated April 1 informs t'.ie Kaiser that England, terrified by the German blockade, has removed from its usual place at the north of the Channel, and has been lowed by tug's to an unknown destination." "We are following in pursuit, reads a telegram signed Von Tirpitz.* Another contribution to the Rigolboche represents a radiant courtier arriving before Francis Joseph with the news of a great Austrian victory. "Do you mean my trams''" asks the venerable sovereign, ''Yes. Sire." "Ah. no." replies the Emperor. " they've played that game on me too often. Von must find something else for next All Fools' Day. ' ' THE CENSORS, Some people think the British censor is the "limit." But there are others. A French journalist complains that in the account of an engagement in the north of France there occurred tV words "over a field of beetroot." and when the pago came back from the censor's office "of beetroot" had been struck out. The Herman censor is apparently just as bad. The editor of a harmless paper in the Fatherland received permission to resume publication, but after a few numbers had appeared lie was sent for and told to suppress the feuillcton. Why? Because in the story a lady whose hand was sought for by an Englishman and a German ga\e the preference to the Englishman! "DEAD ON FIELD OF HONOUR." There is a pretty custom in the 46th Regiment of French infantry. In this famous regiment served The First Grenadier of France." known as "La Tour d'Auvprgne." whose name is always read first at roll call and answered by an officer, who replies: "Dead on the Field of Honour." Now the 46th has another hero. Monsieur Collignon, formerly Councillor of State and Secretary General to the Republic, joined the 46th at the beginning of the war. He would not be an uflF.ccr. but preferred to serve as a private soldier. On March 16 last. at Vanquois. Private Collignon went out under a hail of shell fire to aid a wounded comradeand wan killed. To perpetuate his memory Collignon has been given equal honour with the First Grenadier. His name- is always to be called on ■ parade and to be answered: " Dead on the Field of Honour."