THINGS IN GENERAL.

New Zealand Herald, Volume L, Issue 15390, 27 August 1913, Page 12

THINGS IN GENERAL.

THE STELLA'S * BIG GUN. • The arrival '-New Zealand of the' steamer ■ Rotoru;v with a pair of four-point-sevens . mounted .astern, recalls one of tlMj many tales told of Captain Fairchild. Few New Zealand ■ sailormen havebeen heroes of so many good stories as ai'Q told ot Many years ago he was m the service of the Government as commander of one' arid other of, its steamers. relates to a lime when he was in charge, of the Stella— yachtlike little vessel; which from being 'a.. Government jacht has come to the drudgery of townig- rafts of timber for an Auckland sawmill. - The tale goes that it was ridiculously suggested by some high official thai the Stella, than which no more peaceab&dittJe craft ever existed, should bo equipped with a gun. In short, armed, lakrng into account the small size of the vessel, it ,was obvious that she could not carry a nine-point two, or even an eightinch gun. An appointment was duly r.mdo witn the captain, and an official party went on board to arrange for the arming of the fleet, - ': Captain-Faiichad was a"rare'-character. He spoke with, a distinct •:accent of tho kind known as -American; and he had a luting tongue . which * could ; reel off. the most cutting-sarcasms. "Well, captain," fflid one oi the visitors, "where would J™} like to have the gun mounted?" Fairchild looked over his little, vessel, apparently giving the- question his weightiest consideration. :-"«Well," he replied, "I guess that if , that gun's going to be the lightest use to me, I'll have it stickin' right straight out over the siarn.'' You mav have noticed that the Stella does not carry »'gun. -?:\<-\~k- <,■■

JEY EE WAS A PESSIMIST. The. barber -was'"very doleful. "I hope J, won't .'.cut-you to-day," he said. "One chap's . 30110 out. thi's momin 1 with a beautiful gash. And me with the lightest nand'in Auckland, haven't I? I feel ail to pieces." '.'What's tho matter? You look as if you'd) had anight out." ■-■ "No. None o' that in mine. I.got 1 the blues. /. I think I might be sickenin' for the chick, or something. Me, I've always been the most hopeful kind of chap there is.-.-'.: Reg'lar optimist, up to now. But I'm beginnm* to see things in a different light. 5 -Last night I was thinkin' about it, , and I'm gettin' to be afraid things is only' middlin'. They tell me there's a sort of philosophy that hangs out a blue shingle with a long face painted on it, and goes round thank-, in' ..Heaven that things is no worse, the. season, bein' that they can't be. I don't know much about these things, although I ought to by rights. It's only one- of the rotten parts- of the arrangement that a follow: like "me with a certain • allowance oi' brains ain't had any proper chance to use .'em. I ';.;.'- ':'■-.:■ -■ '.!/-/.: \;.; .'*: : ■

< : "'l'do. what I can, readin*, and* pickin'i ;up' ideas from people, and not forgettin' 'em,; ; But' there's a terrible lot of fellows without much sense : that's had higher education and all the other advantages *A : a free compulsory secular system. There's a■: lot of words. SI .: can say l that I can't spelt with anything like J" confidence. The ' whole . thing seems to -be -.built - up' wrong.": Yoiiiflook round, ; and you'll see smart brainy -chaps C that"; don't care if they're dressed J like nohow. Other chaps wear clotlies up to nines, and haven't got a brain St to'add a column of figures with. thafch.gsts the Empire into a stew , oyer .international /"complications because they hold r shares lib a gun factory, and there*!? fellows that's got such a silly idea, of what ; war is that they'll up and say they wouldn't hit;a stranger that W£S mother's hair down. You've got iailkHtes: that'll collect fourpence? a I qnsix^foirjjwater' without turriin' a ; . hair, and that spend ; their wages on rotten trash when they • might be fixin' themselves up comfortable at home. I do it myself, "ion'll find people that have got about as much art in them as this here shavin* brush, and goes about singiri' and paiotin', ■ arid; ; advertisin' themselves for geniuses., and a fool public that pays good money to erioorirage 'em. You'll find thousand!! of i good-hearted -, women that'll waste their • housekeepin' energy ;on getiin' vt& petitions to stop the hangm* of some cheap : coward j that's killed his > fellow man for a few quid; and you'll, find other women that wouldn't . have a, family—if there was an Act of >- Parliament tellin' 'em '< 'del it. Instead 6' that, they go ', and slobber V : over filthy little dogs that never.grow'out of bein* undersized: pups, that a man wouldn't be seen dead in the same paddock ■ with. Dbnlv'all- that make a picture that'd sicken anybody?" -'::''" Well, it does look pretty: black," said I; "and your tale -of woe/-got worse and worse as it went on. '; But; everything isn't rotten. There afte' 'still some goooi men and women left. fr»saw' yon with a rather nice-looking girl "a?> few days ago; and certainly ! seemed to; appreciate her. Is it serious this time?"' The barber; smiled ruefully. "Not 60 serious now as it was yesterday. I asked her to marry mo last night,, and she said she was engaged to : a chap at Onehunga."

THE; POWER OF PHA^EE. If a man prays earnestly • for material • benefit, will his prayer bo answered? Peace arid comfort of-niind, surcease of . sorrow— . these and-other abstract .brents undoubtedly loTlowTearneslT prayer. But whether such concrete advantages as the- possession of wealth and knowledge should bo ex- , pected to s como by the . "means is a question|, that few people would readily answer with \ an affirmative,! There are. however,' men who do io answer it, and who put their views into practice; and those, too, men of earnest religious views. Nor is there lacking strong ground for believing that they, are right. People who . steadfastly decline to admit that prayer, however devout, results in any Divine intervention will allow that what I have called abstract ; benefits may fellow. They will argue that the effect of prayer is inward, that the one who'prays for comfort in his sorrow, for instance, must necessarily put himself mentally into readiness to receive the comfort he desires, and that, as he is ready and anxious to be comforted, comparative happiness is the most likely th.ing to conioto him. Certain it is that while he recognises the possibility of recovery from his sorrow sufficiently to seek it. he will not become more miserable. So, too, with a man who in his devotions seeks •that more ponderable welfare that takes form in a bigger salary, or a more prosperous trado. I am not disposed to think that his employer will be divinely instructed to fatten his pay-envelope, nor fresh easterners to turn in at his door. The result, if there is any. is a subtler. one, affecting the man himself. He expects more; he. prepares for' it);"works-better and harder, au-d earns "ii. Only the other day I came across a' brief letter from a most devout and respectable Englishman, who put great store ,by a system of prayer. Ho laid it down|thai tho whole mind must be bent upon ;tho prayer—to such an extent, indeed,, 1 that ha described prayer as vevy hard work. He spoke of daily exorcise in prayer, for regular periodssurely a direct training of the mind into the channels for which* the lines are pegged out in the petition, i And. for an example of the kind of prayer which he found good, he quoted the following, to bo said over and over for quarter of an hour, night and morning: — 5 ..«, I Want: . - To lead a useful and active life. To have sufficient income honestly acquired. .. ( ... ~ . ... To bo of service in an agreeable way to all I conjoin contact with. To aenfuffA 'wisdom .and to ho able to explain it to others, if they wish it; | Here add any.particuku intercession for a person, persons, or requirement. ■ In-order to lead a balanced and philosophical life repeat the above- thoughtfully ( *eycn times morning and evening;. WEALTHY IN RELATIONS. Last week " ; Ii cast & number of aspersions upon tie probably ai this time the most friendless creature on earth. Friendless because, Awhile the spiders, and tho

birds chase him for dinner, ana even the cat occasionally catches him and gulps him down as a. cure for obesity, every man's hand is against him, too. He is no longer ah object of admiration as ho plays " tig in the sunlight coming through the window. Even the poots have turned against him. Of this I have evidence in a clipping kindly sent by a suburban correspondent, who expreKses'appreciation at the tact that the 'character of the. wretch has been assailed. I desire no credit, I am not afraid of attacking the fly-he has no friends. Tho clipping contains some verses by a lively American writer, who affects the name of: Walt Mason, and the habit of " running on " his verse as if it were prose. This is the composition, which can be easily corrected, as to the months. named, By anyone who is quick at figures: — "Tho early fly's the one to swafc. It comes before the weather's hot, and sits around and riles its legs, and lays at least ten million eggs, and every egg will bring a fly to drive us'crazv by and by. "Oh, every fly that skips our swatters will have five million sons and daughters, and countless.first and second cousins, and aunts and uncles, scores of dozens, and fifty-seven billion nieces, so knock the blamed thing all to pieces. " And every niece and 'every auntunless' we swat them so they —will lay enough dodgasted eggs to fill up ten fivegallon kegs, and all "these eggs ere summer hies will bring forth twenty million flies. "And thus it goes, an endless chain, so all oar swatting is in vain unless, we do that swatting soon, in Maytime and in early June. So, men and brothers, let us rise, gird up our loins and swat the flies! "And sisters, leave your cosy bowers where you have wasted golden hours; with ardour in your souls and eyes, roll up your sleeves and swat tho flies

I A HUGE EXHIBITION. The trouble which is taking place in j connection with tho participation of Eng- • land and Germany in the great PanamaPacific Exposition draws special attention .just now to the great show whish is to be held at San Francisco in 1915. It will be an enormous display, occupying all to itself a wonder city which is now being rapidly built, and part of which is already occupied. The Exhibition, which is planned on a very beautiful "lay-out," will be on a large stretch of land, partly levslj partly slightly sloping, . with a. water frontage, and flanked by tall hills from which one may look down on the whole of the structures. The grounds cover 625 acres, and extend two miles along the harbour just where most of the sea traffic passes. Parade of the worlds I navies and other marine pageants are I planned to take place on the harbour in • front of the grounds. An idea of the i magnificent scale of the buildings is con- ! veyed by the fact that on ..the north frontage—that is, the harbour side— great wall 60ft high, like the fortified walls of an old French town, will be built, and it will continue round . the- western end of the grounds. This is partly designed to be a breakwind to check the harsher sea winds; which now and then pass the bounds suggested by tho word " balmy breezes." Eight great palaces, higher in pacts than the wall, will stand along it. The Exposition as a whole is divided into five " courts." » The three largest are the Court of the Sun. and Stars, the Court of Abundance, and the Court of the Four Seasons. The Court of Abundance represents the Orient, that of the Four Seasons, the Occident, and the Court of the Sun and, Stars, which lies between them, is -the comprehensive witness to . the junction of East and West through the com. {iletion of the Panama Canal, The two esser courts are the Court of Flowers and the Court of Palms. Bound the courts the various palaces will stand. Outside the; walled city again there will be five'important palaces. The Machinery Kail, the Automobile Hall, the Festival; Hall, the Horticultural Hail, and the Art Palace. The Machinery Hall is the Ingest individual building in the Exposition. It was begun early in the year, and will be ready for the complete installation of exhibits by the opening date, .February 20, 1915. The Machinery Building . will have nearly eight acres of floor ' iipace. ; There will also be an auxiliary structure to ;be known as the Gas ■and Fuels:!-Building. The floor of the Machinery Building is designed for a load of 2001b per square; foot. No charge wOJ be made for exhibit space. \ - •-y"- s The General,