LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLVIII, Issue 14691, 27 May 1911, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

by MERCTJTIO.

' 1 The Northern Club ball fittingly and brilliantly inaugurated the winter " season," :; which here as in moro northern latitudes is ■ inseparably associated with tho harmless caielies which promote and preserve the social amenities of life. The world has gone far in many ways during tho past hundred years. It has witnessed a marvellous transformation of habits, customs, r and conditions. Indeed, everything has so changed that if one of our ancestors of tho pe-Victorian days were to revisit the glimpses of the moon he might easily believe he was on a new and strange planet, But in one thing we remain immutable. Ihe dance is still with us as it was in the , . most remote ages of antiquity. Old times hare changed, old manners gone, but the fascination of the ballroom is still as great c aa ever; and as youth is perpetual its spell is likely to remain unbroken to the end of time. Complaints are occasionally heard

that dancing men are becoming scarcer, but

this I venture to say is only a transient mood. It means that in this luxurious ago,

which like other ages is doomed to pass away, men are growing more lazy and perhaps more eelftish, and are caring less for the graceful accomplishments of life and the sparkle and effervescence of the social round. But let not the debutantes of the future despair. They will never lack partners.

If our public men would not take themselves quite so seriously they might hope to bear the cares and worries of their exalted position more lightly. The Homeric duel which is now going on between Mr. , Massey and Mr. Fowlds is almost painful is in the intensity of earnestness which marks tho combatants. It is obvious that both Relieve that what they are wrangling about are matters of supreme moment. Probably they are, but I am not afraid that the skies are" going to fall whichever side comes out . -of the fray victorious. Mr. Fowlds save things about Mr. Massey, and Mr. Mas- - cej says things about Mr. Fowlds, but the world goes on its course unmoved, and the sun rises and sets as if nothing was happening. What tickles me, however, is , the warmth of Mr. Fowlds's affection for the Party and Administration of which ho is now so prominent a member. In the . geddonian days it was not always thus. Mr. Fowlds had then a pumice-like tongue, which his political friends found occasionally rough and rasping. Indeed, if I am . not mistaken, Mr. Seddon once included • him as among the Opposition in a list which he drew up. Very significant, too, , when we remember how carefully Mr. • Fowlds avoided all reference to the fors; bidden topic in the early days of his political aspirations, is his bold championship of the Single Tax. Ho evidently thinks ' that the time has com© when he can with . 'impunity as a Minister of the Crown openly ' advocate that wonderful panacea for all the ■ ills that afflict the body politic. Well, who - knows? Nobody appears to have any fixed "opinions nowadays. Wo are all Socialists at one moment "and all Home Rulers the ' next. And, perhaps, to-morrow wo ehall all be Single Taxers. , 'V' • , ,

Tho English * press still labours under 1 ' curious illusions regarding the colonies. A London paper quotes an advertisement from .*-'the'Herald as a proof that in the Do- ■ minion "no English need apply." The adi.i vertisement in question was for a butcher " 'V for an up-country town, and it was stated /; tjbfrit new chums were not wanted, the ad- , . leaser evidently meaning that applicants ; Wit have colonial experience. But to the > v- London journalist, new chum is a term of opprobrium, signifying "wastrel," and he ; finishes into, print to warn Cliciee who are ''". turning longing eyes to New Zealand of *. what they : may expect when they arrive ■:i Ijere. Ignorance of this kind is to be looked ■ J ; lor in alien prints, ,but it is an unpalatable mrprise to find it displayed- in the classic : columns of the Westminster Gazette, which Sir Robert Stout in a thoughtless moment " . once declared to be the best informed paper feah'London.

The American newspapers know go little ""'about'us that they are always prepared to J.publish the moat extravagant nonsense regarding New Zealand. I came across a report of an interview . with a wanderer ■;y from this country in a Seattle paper the ', other day. He told the guileless reporter I , that wotaan suffrage had turned New Zea- * ; land into an earthly Paradise. " Our "homes are happy," ho said, "and we have continual picnics and outings. There is no ■stranger. We are all one family. You can land there without money, and we will take care of you. Since the women _ got the franchise ' there has been no ' grafting.' No mayor draws his salary. It goes to some charity.; Since women havo the franchise we can hang our hats and coats in a hotel and find them there in the morning. 'Our hospitals and other public institutions are better since the women votej, divorces have been reduced 77 per cont., arrests for drunkenness have decreased 69 per cent., ' and there has been a 55 per cent, reduction of all crimes. As a result of equal suffrages there has sprung up the kindliest of democracies." lam now waiting for an influx of immigrants from Seattle to this liappy-family-party-country, this land "of perpetual picnics and outings, whorethe penniless stranger is taken to our bosom® and cared for, and where you can leave your hat on a peg in a 'hotel, and find it there in the morning.

■ " ''A portly, immaculately-dressed and very ' dignified-looking gentleman of copper com- , plexion. who would be taken for a superior Maori chieftain, may have been seen drivin about Auckland during the past couple .. of months. He is the King of Tonga, and he returned to his dominions by the steamer Atua this week. His tremendous bulk was remarked upon by everyone who saw him. The San Francisco Examiner professes to have discovered the secret of the diet which has produced this result. In an article about the monarch, it tells its' readers : —"His Majesty owes his huge 'bulk, as does also the queen, it is said, . to their fondness for dogs. Not as pets not for companionship, but as an article -of diet. There is one requisite, however, . The canines must be fat, and there must be plenty of them. His Majesty.says that * the best food for fattening dogs is the flesh of the cocoa nut and the shark." The . story is, of course, an absurd one. Evidently it is believed in 'Frisco that the ■ Tongans are still savages. They certainly nave this opinion of the Maoris l of whom 1 'there are still many cannibal'tribes in t«e interior," according to this veracious . 1 Examiner.

, .You can cross Siberia in the depth of :'"inter in a warm and comfortable railway , Carriage, but in New Zealand the resources '°f civilisation are not equal, apparently, ■to this modest measure of luxury. Tho J railway , journey from Auckland to Wcl>'l)ngton at this season of tho year is the coldest in any part of Now Zealand, not *pting the Antarctic wilds of Central Otflgo. But no attempt is made to heat the'carriages, the astounding excuse being • ; that it takes all the steam the engine can generate to drag the train along at tho • •brain-reeling speed of twenty miles an '' hour. The passengers aro thus compelled perforce to sit shivering and half-frozen through tho long and tiresome journey, and if they are , lucky enough to escape Without contracting a pneumonic cold they consider themselves as particularly tortunate. I almost despair of any improvement in railway management under "6 present regime, otherwise I might sug- . B c ?t that if the express at present is too l on ß and heavy for one engine it should . ■"»!? c ' lv 'ded into two trains, according to , W requirements of tho traffic. Not only ' »n d this arrangement enable a higher . PMd to be maintained, and permit pas- - , t3 01 ' 8 to travel without being packed in > sihi lCr<nv e(1 carriages, but it would posti l en sure a sufficient supply of steam • 'TTni • t-ho carriages reasonably warm. i ' Born, K - 8 j omc thing is done I should not bo 8om« to h«ir one of those days that '.rltttiti.L " n »ort una to passenger had been tr .°2en to death 1