LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 12758, 7 January 1905, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

-Let me have audience for a word nr two."

—Sshakespere.

It would be interesting to know how much money was spent in the shops and hotels during Christmas and New Year weeks. It must have amounted to many thousands of pounds. So far as 1 can gather, money has never been more plentiful than it was litis Christmas and New rear. One shopkeeper told me that during Christmas week his takings were £250 more than during the corresponding week of the previous year, and I daresay the experience of the majority of the traders was in the same direction. It is a good. sign, because it indicates a widespread prosperity. Truly New Zealand is a wonderful little country.

Do people drink more in good times than 'fn bad'.' I believe the police theory is that'they don't. And their theory is home out by the remarkable absence of drunkenness .luring the recent holidays. Although the town was full of visitors, with plenty of money in their pockets, it was a rare sightto see a drunken man. 'there were many persons, 1 daresay, whose hilarity was not altogether unconnected with the worship of Bacchus, hut there were comparatively few scenes of drunkenness such as one is accustomed to see in the Old Country at the " festive'' season of the year. This is another ••nod sign.

So i? the action of Mahuta in forbidding the consumption of drink ;it a Maori iangi, of which I saw mention made in the Hkiiald the other day. lie is not, ! believe, a total abstainer himself, but he recognises that the immoderate use of liquor «>u these occasions of Maori mourning is responsible for some deplorable scenes. If he would only forbid the immoderate use of food he would be completing a very wise reform, for these langis, even when conducted on temperance principles, are apt to degenerate into debauches of gluttony. Indeed, it would be a blessing to the Maoris themselves if they could be induced to abandon the practice of holding tangis altogether. for they simply spell impoverishment.

Talking of Mahuta reminds me of an incident in connection with his appointment as a member of the Executive. For reasons which I could never discover. Mr. Seddon was particularly anxious that Mahuta should become a member of the Cabinet. Perhaps lie thoiigkt he would gain kudos by being able to' attach the Maori king to his chariot wheel. At all event*, he mover! heaven and earth to get his consent to join his Administration. But when the time came for Mahuta to be sworn m— ceremony, it will be remembered. was fixed to take place at Government House. Auckland—the Maori Vine was l.on est. He had changed his mind! "Does anybody know where Malinta is'.'" asked' the Premier exciiedlv. "Yes." said somebody: "he's at Kidd's hotel." Mr. Seddon hastily snatched up his hat, ami rushing out of Government House jumped into a- carriage and drove down in the hotel. There he had an interview with Mahuta. What took place at that interview I do not know, but Mahuta was mollified, and when Mr. Seddon came out he was accompanied by the Maori king, who was as submissive as a lamb. Wonderful man, Dick:

..'he best trout ston T have heard this pcason is told of a worthy Scotsman, hailing from Otago. He had arrived •in Eotorua late at nhdit, and the maid at the'bemrdinghouse where ho was staying, in showing bin' to his bedroom, said: ''Good-night, sir: would you prefer a hot bath or a cold bath to-morrow morning"'" " Hoots, lassie." replied Mae. " gang awa' wi' yer uoueense ; " dae ye tak' me for a troct?"

The other day I was shown a letter by a young Aucklander who is at school in another part of the world, written to his mother, in which the typical schoolboy comes out very strikingly. He gives the following graphic account of a tight which he had with a companion: —-'" My new mate getting too cheeky. 1 said 1 would give him one in the jaw. and he said do ft. I knew before I could fight him. as E taught me boxing, and I had long wished for a couple of rounds with him. as> he is ahvavs calling me a dirty, thick-mudded Aucklander, and that all the Aucklauders ■were a low lot of cads. Well, I was in splendid trim for a fight, so I touched him in the jaw a bit to get him wild, and we started. He had no more idea of boxing than the man in the moon. Somehow he got mixed up with me with his head down punching out every side, and of course I was hitting him beauties under the mouth, nose, and ears, which the latter is a grand spot. At last we were separated, and I AViis giving it to him grand when he veiled out "time." It was not time for that yet, so I told him I was going to make 'it a good finish, and I nearly finished him off, when he rushed for a great rock, and was going to fire at- me, but of course 1 knew he was too frightened to. so I had given him his knock-out blow, which he has not forgotten yet. He only got rue one hit. that was on the arm. so we put an end to that quarrel. Me of course victorious!'*

A'he fall of Port Arthur had been impending for so long a time that when it at last happened everybody out of Japan seemed to take it as a matter of course, and the news caused scarcely a flutter. From a remark overheard it would even appear as if some people were so uninterested in the war that they didn't know •whether Port Arthur was held by the Russians or the Japanese. Here is a conversation which I am assured actually took place:

Young Lady: ''Ob, mother, there was such a crowd' outside the Herald Office. I wonder what it was till about."

Her Brother: "The surrender of Port Arthur."

The Mother: "I hope those beastly [Russians haven't got it!"

Mr. Gerald Peacocke sends me the following parody of Hamlet's famous soliloquy, which he entitles: —

ADMIRAL ROSHDKNTSVES'KI'S .SOLILOQUY. (On his way to the East.)

To-go. or not To-go? that is the question: Whether 'lis nobler in the l!uss to suft'ci The stings and gibing* of outrageous scoffers, Or, to tiuke arms against a fleet of fishers. And. by quickfirers, end them:-' To-go—to lightNo more; and. by a fight, to say we end The heartfiuake, and the thousand beastly

jumps That flesh if heir to—'tis a. consummation Devoutlv to be wished! . . To-go—to tight. To light?—perchance to bust! Ay, there the rub! For, with those wily Japs the risks we ran When we were blundering past the Dogger Sfust'give us pause! There's the confounded Sfust give us pause! There's the confounueu

fix I'm in! Vet who would hear the whips and

scorns Of sneering pressmen, the derisive grin. Hie street-boy's contumely, the pangs of fear. The Tsar's delay, the insolence of Lamsfr.jj C spurns that the " egregious Baltic Fleet" nf the irreverent paragraphist takes When he. himself, might his quietus make With a bare vodka? Who would labours To -roan and sweat under this daily grind Tint "that the dread of something in the bust. That Jan.-accursed country, from whose seas fti admiral returns, puzzles the will, tvudl akes us rather hear those ills we, have Than to others that we well wot of. m fetes, thus, make cowards oi n* all; t I thus the mighty fleet of Hoshdeutsveski Ta liek tied o'er with the pale east of tank; A ndentei prises of great pith and momentSSg defenceless fishing boats--rhfiferrents turn aside from fighting Japs., Aufffi the name of action! Let me Mini. ' ■{>.*< '

"In recognition of Archdeacon Gould's many courtesies, the chessplayers attending the Oamaru touriinnicnt decided to atiend t his church on {Sunday in a body, though some belong to (Alter denominations.'' This paragraph, which was tacked on to a Press Association message on Tuesday. is wonderfully refreshing, and strikes quite a novel note. What an ingenious wa> for the tourney players to express their sense of gratitude Ur the popular incumbent of St. Luke's, who, by the way. never preaches for longer than' ten minutes at a stretch. Perhaps the churchgoers knew that. It. Mould have been much more inioresting"~to be told what the visiting chessmen contributed to the [dale. The idea might*be enlarged, too. For instance, the visitors might have their pulses felt and their tongues examined by eheen Dr. Garland ; Secretary Mowbray would be glad to insure their lives "at a premium :" the headmasters of the North, South, and Middle schools would gladh undertake the training of the future champions! Oamavu is nothing it not original.

A yarn lias found its way here from a yachting centre down South, and is worth repeating, even if not authenticated. It seems—so the story runsthat dining the rough weather early in December a wellknown racing craft mysteriously disappeared one dark night from its moorings'. They, too, were gone next morning. Now, it is very well known that yachts .sometimes get stolen in New Zealand waters, and the owner of this particular one was quite sure his had gone the same route. The police were immediately informed, and a private detective was alio engaged, with a roving commission. Weeks passed, however, but nothing came of the search--till a week or so ago. Then, another member of the same yachting fraternity look it into his head to grapple for the lust moorings, on the principle that hah' a loaf is better than no bread. Imagine his surprise when his hooks caught in the yacht stern rail. The rest was easy. She was brought to the .surface in good order, having been sunk by the heavy seas. And her owner has gone for a long entice to escape the unmerciful dialling he came in for—and fttllv deserved.

"Dear "Mercutio,'—Did the fungus cause the potato rot. or did the rot cause the fungus*.' . hi Local Gossip last Saturday Mr. Marsh proclaims (he latter idea, but ! am afraid his 50 years* experience and -observation have taught him much less than a microscope would at one glance. Unfortunately, all the growers 1 have-spoken to around here agree with him. for the simple reason that they have nevei seen the fungus magnified 1.00 or 400 times, and consequently laugh'at ' the fairy tales of science.' May I explain that there are two classes of fungi? The species Mr. Marsh mentions live on decaying organic matter, like yeast, mushrooms, etc.. and are known as saprophytes ; they are, as a rule, harmless—in fact, useful. But the farmers enemy is the I other class which live on living plants and | living .animals, and which are known as j parasite*, in this' class are rust, mildew, | black-spot. smut, and a host of others, in- ! cluding the Phytophora infestans. or potato blight. This fungus is a minute plan'., living on the potato plant (like a flea on a sheepdog) : it has no means of obtaining food except by rooting on a living plant, and stealing the plant's vitality «md nourishment. There is no mystery about it or its movements. Through the microscope you can see its roots, stem, branches, and seeds or spores, and you can follow its movements ifro-in germination to fruition. Doubt on many matters is. a duty, but when you see a thing with your own eyes, and smell it in the paddock with your own nose, where, is the ground for unbelief? I agree with yon and Mr. Marsh that the weather vr?j* the predisposing cause ; it weakened the plants constitutionally, and lessened their power of resistance, just as a weak man is; less able to resist microbes than a strong one. Spraying diseased crops 'is throwing good money after bad. bid it is ' «in effective, preventative, even in this weather.Yours, etc.. P.6.A."

The Glasgow Weekly of November 12 publishes an interest ing account of a venerable Scottish character. Mr. Matthew Faulds, of Fenwiek, " the oldest handloom weaver in the world." He was born on May 22. 1.806, so thai he is now in his 99th year, but he is hale and hearty in spite of his years, and we are told "'patriotic Scots from America and distant colonies are specially eager to obtain something woven by the interesting old man," who still plies the shuttle diligently, notwithstanding his nged fingers. Matthew was a laddie at school when, the battle of Waterloo was fought, and well remembers the coming of the news of that great victory. He is a non-smoker and abstainer, and lias all along been blessed with good health.

I It is an interesting fact, says the News, that old Matthew is fifth in descent from j Captain Patau, the principled soldier who 1 suffered martyrdom for the Covenant cause in the 16th century. The captain was a splendid tighter, and a man of great prowess. Alter fighting against Montrose at Kilsyth he, with two other officers of the Covenanting army, in riding from the field, were encountered first by a group of 15 soldiers, all of whom were killed except two. Later, they were assailed by 13 of the enemy. Ten of these were killed, and of 11 others, who tried to stop the terrible warriors for Kirk and Covenant only two escaped. A niece of old Matthew, residing at Lochgoin, is married to a grandson of worthy John Howie, another of "The Scots Worthies/' At Lochgoin is Captain Paton's sword, with its 28 gaps, eloquent of hard using, and corresponding in number with the years of persecution. Here, too, is the captain's Bible, handed by him to his wife when he mounted the scaffold in the Grassmarkel of Edinburgh on that far-off day in April, 1685. when the doughty captain, weary of blows and persecution, gladly laid down his life.

Mr. Faulds lias been for half a century an elder of the kirk in Fcnwick, a place which must be conducive to longevity, for it is stated that there have been but three ministers in the church during a period of 122 years. 1 give these interesting particulars pi this Scottish worth? because I learn from the account that one of his sons resides in Auckland, ami is a member (A the New Zealand House of Representatives.

Tenacity of purpose is supposed to be out: of the national characteristic-; ot Scotsmen, so I am not .surprised that Sir Robert Stout should still lit- implacable mi the vexed question of precedence. In Kngland, where they manage these things dilfeionily. the Chief Justice take- precedence of the Prime Minister if the latter is a commoner, As a matter of fact the Prime Ministei as such has no place in the table of- precedency. Hence it happens thai in Abbey's great picture of the coronation country visitors, according to Mr. Lucy, the well-known London journalist, (scan the countenances of the brilliant crowd surrounding the King, and want to know "where Mr. Arthur I'alfour comes in." At the date of the coronation, Mr. Lucy goes on to say. he was. the First Minister of the Crown, entrusted with the direction of the destinies of the Kmpire. if would seem reasonable that he should figure in some prominent position. Prolonged search discovers the Premier at the extreme edge, of th" crowd, absolutely the last man but one admitted within the charmed circle. Only it minor canon between him and the unnamed multitude outside. The incident throws a flood of light on one of those ordinances upon which, all unknown to the otherwise astute Man in the Street, the British Constitution rests. In the ceremony of the coronation the order of precedence, sacred and immutable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, is paramount. The Prime Minister, an official designation of comparatively modern birth, has no place in the table, and can claim no place of precedence either at the coronation or, in ordinary gatherings of official or .social life. Accordingly lie more or less - humbly stands on the outskirts, a special Providence having set immediately before him the Lord Chancellor, over whose wigged head he can quite conveniently survey the scene. But fancy Mr. Secklon being content to stand on the outskirts! The idea, is too utterly too too Mkrcutio.