AUSTRALIAN PERSONALITIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 12070, 13 September 1902, Page 5 (Supplement)

AUSTRALIAN PERSONALITIES.

THE REMITTANCE MAN.

[BY AMBttOSE I'EATT.]

Qiutk nine-tenths of remittance men are incurable dipsomaniacs. The remaining one-tenth comprises a curious band of hopeless rogues, spendthrift bankrupts, criminal imbeciles, cashiered army office;*. defaulting plungers, and other unprincipled blackguards. It is Australia's chief grievance against the Motherland that England selfishly persists in foisting on our shores ihi.i continuous stream of proved bad blood, from which bo good can ever be extracted, and which only serves to swell the ranks of our lunatic asylums, our charitable institutions, and our gaols.

It would be impossible to describe within my space limit more than cursorily the lives of the one-tenth—rogues, bankrupts, imbeciles, etc.—before mentioned. Mostly city-bred men and gentlemen by birth they arc distinguished by their elegant manners and vicious habits. They haunt the cities and larger towns. Their almost invariable practice on arrival in Australia is to raise a sum of ready money upon mortgage of their pension from some disreputable money-lender, who takes care that he lie not defrauded of his principal and interest by obliging the remittance man to confess judgment, of the whole amount, whereupon a writ of "cane" can be executed if the borrower seek to quit the .State.

With the sum so obtained the remittance man either tries his luck on the racecourse, in which case he presently becomes a. tout, or launches into some business. In a few rare instances remittance men have in this manner, assisted by luck, made considerable fortunes, but; the, great majority, not so favoured by fate, allow their criminal instincts to overcome their prudence, and after a kaleidoscopic trial, at which the presiding judge invariably remarks, "What, another remittance * man!" they are initiated into the mysteries of oakumpicking. When they have "done" their "time" they drift down the social ladder until the last rung is reached, and as " spa-lets-,'' "confidence men," or "bludgers" they protract their infamous career, living in and out of prison until they die of disease or are mercifully consigned to the permanent safe-keeping' of a State insane asylum. HOW THEY EXIST. The dipsomaniac remittance men, (hough an utterly wastrel class, are a degree less abandoned and profligate, consequently a degree more noteworthy, -than their brethren of the rogue, bankrupt, etc., older. For one reason they are never to be found in the larger towns and cities. As if following an inexorable natural law -within a month of the:!- arrival in Australia they gravitate towards the interior of the continent, and. scatteied widely over the vast, bush, ate to be met with* in every little town and village, on every station.' in almost every stockman's and' shepherd's hut, either as listless "sundowners," wandering "swaggies," stockmen, station hands, bush carpenters, grooms, stable hands, rouseabout or station cooks.

When their remittance arrives they spend a glorious week in some wayside or village public-house, assiduously drinking from morning until far into each night, never drunk-— it is impossible to make a "dipso" drunk—dreaming wonderful beerinspired visions of delight, but eating not at all. When their last penny is expended the publican, who—parasite 'that he is— knows and likes the class, gives them gratis a flask of rum or whisky, and they wander disconsolately off. Their whole ambition then is to exist with as little effort as possible until their next remittance arrives, and then another glorious save the mark!—"booze."'.

But to exist -that is the problem. The majority trudge wearily from station to station with blanket and billy, not seeking work—they loathe workbut begging just enough tea. and (lour to keen body and soul together. The pity is that their begging appeals are seldom, if ever, refused. So they live. Some, however, fearing the privations of a tramp's life, seek employment. These are men who can ride,"who understand horses, who can handle an axe, or who can cook. Employment is given them from charity, clothes and rations, too, but they are paid no wages, for it is known that their services, Mich as they are. cm never be relied on. If the remittance man can get hold of a shilling he will walk twenty, nay, if necessary fifty miles in order to spend it in drink. DUKK'S SON AS GROOM. 1 have had a long and varied experience of dipsomaniac remittance men, extending over twenty years. On my father's station, situated near the head waters of the Manning River, during that period over a hundred have received employment, and at least as many more have had their temporary necessities relieved. I once had as a groom the, son of a duke, whose name is still on the list of members of an exclusive London lull, while countless younger sous of earls, viscounts, baronets', etc. etc., have vicariously served on the station as rouseabouts, tar boys at shearing times, shepherds, stable hands, and cooks.

Remittance men are invariably called by their station mates either "Gentleman Jim," "Gentleman -Jack," or "Gentleman Joe," because of their courteous manner and inbred polish, which no amount of rough life seems able to eradicate from the man who is born of gentle blood. They are. indeed gentlemen in all things except the essentials. Polite, suave, glib of tongue (they never swear or use foul language), generous, and ever ready to "shout" when their remittance is to hand, they are nevertheless weak-minded, incurably indolent, reckless liars, and often thieves. A large proportion die in the bush of heart disease, and their bodies feed the dingoes and the crow-. .Many others expire in their drinking bouts. Nevei one have i met or heard of who was worthy of the least respect, 01 who crossed the "Great Divide" regret led by a. living creature sav his dog.' A TKERIBLK STOKV. My father was once for two years intermittently served by a remittance man as cook. This fellow was the third son of fin earl. One day there arrived at the station a, cablegram from a firm of London solicitors remitting a considerable sum of money, and requesting my lather to despatch his rook to England because both the cook's brothers had been drowned in a boating accident, and his father was lying on his deathbed. The now viscount cook, a tine specimen of a physical man about 40 years of age, but a. hopeless incurable, received the news and the money with imperturbable composure. Next morning he departed for London via Sydney, oil a station horse. Two months afterwards he returned, a bleaied-eyed and penniless debauchee, and resumed his duties in the kitchen.

Then came another cable; his father was dead, and our cook was an earl. The man could cook-—no mistake about that : but though he implored us to let him alone and allow him to remain our cook my father perceived the impropriety of the ollice, and personally escorted the noble carl to Sydney, where he purchased a firstclass P. and 0. ticket for London, and shadowed his protege until the steamer departed.

Six weeks later our cook came back! Re had abandoned the steamer at Melbourne, and after selling his ticket, travelled by rail to Sydney, drinking all the way. But this unusually protracted debauch completed the destruction of an already debilitated constitution. The noble eai-1 within a few days passed peacefully away, his last moments gladdened by a draught of Pommery; and his grave and monument (the monument was provided in a fit of joy-bred generosity by the next heir —a distant cousin—and cost, £5) may be inspected by any curious person who will trouble to walk the mile from my old homestead.