LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 8508, 7 March 1891, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

it 1 of me havo audience for a word or two." Le * —Shakcwcre. Surely the division which there has been amongst our artists within the last few -ears is not so wide as to resist the power of His Excellency the Governor to unite the parties. The Earl of Onslow is Her Majesty's representative, and what he does is done by the Queen and Empress, the o-reatest. Sovereign on earthin this respect at least, that she has the affection of more people than any other ruler. . I have already spoken on this subject, and I am afraid to say anything more, in case what I [0 say may have the remotest chance of spoiling the anticipated reunion. The Auckland Society of Arts is a venerable institution. I love it, because it had an existence before most of the artists who now exhibit had lifted a brush. I never could quite understand why the dissentients went. away. If the society followed certain rules of government which these dissentients d ; d not agree with, then the dissentients should have done their best, by appeals to the reason and judgment of their fellow-members, to havo these rules altered. j

A letter on the subject of the citizens' tail has been passed to me to deal with, and I shall bo gentle with the writer, because to somo extent I sympathise with him. He thinks tho promoters of tho ball are "making a grievous mistake in charging such a high figure for tickets, as this puts it entirely out of the question that the Treat bulk of Auckland citizens, the working classes, should be represented at the reining festivities." No doubt that is true, but, it. would puzzle our correspondent to propound an entertainment to which could be invited His Excellency the Governor, Admiral Lord Charles Scott, and the other Quests, at which "the great bulk of Auckland's citizens" could" be present. The chief duty and employment at a ball is dancing, and in such case the function can in no way be considered a popular reception. The respect of the citizens of Auckland generally for His Excellency the Governor, their appreciation of his evident desire to make his stay here pleasant and useful to all around him, must be shown in some other way by the mass of the people than by a ball. Doubtless such opportunities will bo afforded. But the ball will afford His Excellency and Lady Onslow opportunities of becoming acquainted with jome of our citizens Among the guest"! will, no doubt, be many "of the officers of the squadron who" are to make a stay here; and it will be agreeable to them to make acquaintances "among the citizens. A ball is the only way in which that can be done. The writer of the letter utters sneering sentiments in respect to the people who will go to the ball, which I should be very =orry to think were general amongst the working classes. j

The Police Court case in which Miss Spilsbury and her dogs figured was a remarkable one, and whenever the lady now appears in the street attended by her three huire St. Bernards she and they are rejarded by crowds at a respectful distance, She makes herself completely at one with aer dogs, and said in Court, "Their sins ire my sins." She is moved to assault anyone who ever speaks against her dogs. I im quite sure that the dogs would not ;rouble themselves in such a case. They would view with contempt any merely rerbal aspersions. Mis- Spilsbury must surely be, according to safe newspaper phraseology, "a lady of considerable personal attractions," because she states that she carries a knife, as a man followed her one day in the cemetery. One would have thought that three St Bernards were sufficient defence anywhere. The truth is that the Grafton district is troubled by this- affliction because of the social arrangements of modern society, on which Mrs. Lynn Linton and other writers have said so mnch. It is the first and chiefest of woman's rights to get a husband, and fate has been against Miss Spilsbury. The river of female affection must flow somewhere, and if it does not expand itself on husband and children, and in the sacred circle of domestic love, it comes down to dogs, or cats, or parrots. The spectacle is a rather melancholy one, but can much blame be attributed to the lady in such a case ? It certainly would be far nobler if she would consecrate herself to the work of benevolence and religion—if she would visit the sick and afflicted, and bestow upon them the care and the cash that otherwise goes to the dogs. But perhaps it is well that we should have one terrible example of what happens when the sweet waters of affection are interfered with by disappointment.

The attitude of Sir W. Fox as a magistrate to the drunkards and the liquor traffic is still being discussed. For my own part, I think that the request of Mr. Cotter the other day, that Sir \V. Fox should not sit in a case where a publican was charged with selling after hours, was most intolerable. To sell drink after hours is contrary to law, and I should think that the parties most zealous against the practice would be the publicans who observe the law. At all events, I think that if I were a publican and did not myself break the law, I should punish severely, as a magistrate, those who did. If I were a teetotaller, I should be indifferent. But the charge is one of fact and evidence. Mr. Cotter's challenge to Sir W. Fox amounted to this, that even although it were proved by the evidence that defendant had not sold after hours he would perjure himself by finding him guilty. As to the punishments inflicted on drunkards, Sir W. Fox is clearly wrong. He imposes the highest penalty, while the custom is to impose a lower penalty. He ought in such a case nob only to regard the law, but to have respect to the custom and to the way in which the law is usually administered.

The Auckland Chamber of Commerce has found a great difficulty in recent years in maintaining its membership, so that I am glad to point to a fact which may serve to show that membership may occasionally be useful. When a man is at home everybody knows him, and his fellow-citizens are never at a loss how to treat him. But when he goes abroad it is useful to have some kind of rank. To be a member of the House of Representatives might bo a recommendation in some quarters, and, at all events, in the freemasonry established between colonial politicians, it would secure him a free pass on the Australian railways. To be a member of the City Council, or the Harbour Board, or the Parnell Borough Council, would give a man the entree into certain circles. But it would seem that nothing is so effective as membership of the Auckland Chamber of Commerce, for at the Federation banquet a fellow-citizen of ours, who happened to be at Sydney on business, was'assigned a place of honour as a guest because he could claim to be a member of that august body. Henceforward the troubles of Mr. Young, secretary of the Chamber, will be at an end.

Some years ago Colonel Shepherd attempted to get up a golf club here, but the effort was a failure, as, I suppose, the ■rame was voted " too slow." But since that time there has been a complete change at home. The ancient Scottish game, played on the breezy "links," has been taken up in England, and is simply- throwing other games into the shade. Anyone can play it from seven years of age to seventy. The greatest skill and judgment can be shown, and the exertion necessary can be adapted to any strength or constitution. Ladies can play, and do play, and as a game offering opportunities of flirtation, it beats lawn tennis hollow. Might Colonel Shepherd not try again ?

As a loyal subject I am loth to give the Queen's representative away, but Local Uossip duty " must be done." There is a good story going the rounds about the Governor in connection wfth the Auckland Society of Arts Exhibition. In the Exhi-

bitiou there is an oil painting of an old framed print. The glass framing of the print has cracked down the centre and the broken, fragments of glass from the right hand top corner have tumbled down to tho bottom of the picture, inside the framing. Quite a number of visitors to the hall, seeing the "exhibit" 011 the floor, thought that the picture had got accidentally broken and knocked about, so perfect was the imitation, and it was only on putting their hands over the crack and feeling for the broken glass that they found out the clover deception. His Excellency and Lady Onslow had a private view of the pictures at five o'clock on Wednesday evening, and while the president of the Society was showing the Countess some particular picture he strolled about the hall noting the exhibits. The old print with the broken glass framing attracted his attention, and he was " had " like the rest. His face was a study for Lavater, but Lord Onslow dearly loves a joke. Like tho Spartan boy with the fox gnawing at his vitals, and who never squeaked, His Excellency "made no sign," but as soon as possible took his opportunity of getting the Countess to look at " the old print with the broken glass," and only felt happy when she had been similarly victimised by the artistic deception.

I havo seen some enterprising reporters in my time, but for superhuman bluff the young reporter who tho other night insinuated himself into a Tabernacle church meeting, and well nigh passed himself off as a " bogus" Baptist, takes the cake. Fortunately the otlicial who tiles" tho door had the faithful all ear-marked, and knows the sheep from the goats. Accordingly, the pressman was requested not to stand upon the order of his going but to go at once. He skipped. His professional zeal and determination to lift himself, in the course of duty, above his theological surroundings, reminds me of the incident which befel another youthful reporter who desired to pry into the mysteries of a Salvation Army after meeting. Mrs. Hampson, the Evangelist, came along, as he sat oil a bench, watching the " convicted" going up to the penitent form." Putting her hand tenderly and affectionately on his shoulder, and looking, with those dreamy eyes of hers into his own, she said, "I hope you are saved?" The startled young man could only gasp out, "You make a mistake, madam ; I'm only a reporter /"

Superintendent Hughes, of the Auckland Fire Brigade, I understand, has forwarded an elaborate report to the City Council as to how cod liver oil came up by mistake from Dunedin instead of the cod oil he had ordered for "tiubbing" for the fire hose. He states that the cod liver oil " has done the hose a deal of £ood," in fact that tho hose has drunk it in like mother's milk through tho pores of the leather. It appears that he was paying 7s a gallon for cod oil locally and is getting a better article from Dunedin at 4s (id, so it is evident that some people in Auckland understand " the oil trick" better than Pastor Birch. When Superintendent Hughes made the discovery he must have thought it was palm oil— anyway he was just, in fettle to believe in the doctrine of " laying on of hands."

I have received a letter from an admirer of Pastor Birch in reference to my comments of last week 0:1 that gentleman's departure. If ever a man had reason to exclaim "Save me from my 'friends!'" it was the pastor of the Tabernacle. But for the baleful influence of so-called " friends" —who were in reality his greatest enemies— the rev. gentleman would not have lived in a Fool's Paradise, till its inglorious ending, but in all probability to-day would have been pursuing a useful and honourable career in this city. As Pastor Birch is now dead hereecclesiasticallyhaving given himself the happy despatch," I will not traverse the old Latin maxim touching the dead. I am the more inclined to do that as what is true in my correspondent's letter is nob new, and what is new in it is not true. As to bringing the Pastor back and renting a hall for him, all that need be said on that head is that his " following" in the Tabernacle were always ready to "shout" for him, but not prepared to " bleed" for him. That was what was the matter. Mercutio.