SCOTTISH CHARACTERISTICS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XX, Issue 6829, 6 October 1883, Page 1 (Supplement)

SCOTTISH CHARACTERISTICS.

Ik last Saturday's paper we noticed a most entertaining volume with the, above title, which has been recently published by the .Rev. Paxton Hood, of London, and we now continue our extracts from it 3 pages :— wrr, wisdom, pi Err, and satibe. " Jeanie," said a staunch old Cameronian to his daushteV, "Jeanie, my lass, it's a very solemn thing to be married." ."I ken that weel," said the sensible lassie; "bat it's a great deal solemner not to be." And most of our readers will remember the prayer of Preacher Geordie for the Magistracy of tiOchmaben ; it was once far-famed; "Lord, we pray Thee to remember the Magistracy of Locbmaben, such as they are." A SCOTCHMAN A STRAY. Mr. Boyd,_ among bis numerous reminiscences, mentions the instance of a member for a Scotch borough, who, on the occasion of his first election, having to address his constituents, and finding a difficulty in obtaining i place for that purpose, the minister of the parish was so obliging as to offer him the use of the kirk; every corner of the building was, of course, crammed, and at last the candidate for senatorial honours was seen ascending the pulpit with a large volume under his arm. "Ay, mon, div ye see that he is ganging up into the puipit wi' the Bible under his arm?" "Na, na, it canna be the Bible, frae the binnen (binding) o' the buik." But the mysterious volume was soon opened, and it proved to be McJulloch's Commercial Dictionary, from which he continued reading for two hours, instead of attempting a speech of his own. However, it is said, that his reading from McCulloch secured him a seat in the House, and McCulloch himself suffered not a little in the way of-quizzing from the part he had in the return of this member. Bat the joke remains 1 as yet untold, for when he entered the House ho thought to dose it with McCulloch too; and upon one Bad occasion he felt himself called I upon to assert his principle ; he had a bound-' leas sense of his importance, and did not fail to convey this idea alike to the members of the Treasury and the Opposition benches. Upon this particular occasion he entered the House with slow step and grave countenance, and his mercantile lexicon in his haad, is various portions of which he had inserted slips of paper, quotations to guide him, or verify his statements in his speech; but he found that the debate would not be likoly to give him his desired opportunity for some considerable time, for an hour or two, during the which he might regale himself by ietiring for dinner, and returning strengthened for the conflict. He had no sooner gone, having, however, allowed snffioient time to be assured he was comfortably engaged with the affaire of the table, when one of the wags of the House, a facetious member who was often relieving graver cares by some singular excursion of his humour, took the place of the mercantile member, who had left his McCulloch behind him on his seat. The wag carefully inspected the passages indicated in the volume, but, turning to some of his friends who were enjoying the scene, he said, " Why, good gracious ! if h6 givea us all these readings, he_ must speak for hours. This won't do ; in the interests of the country, and our domestic felicity, I must put a stop to it. We shall be regularly bombarded, therefore I must close the chnnnels by lifting the buoys." So he .proceeded to alter all the slips of paper which the intending orator had carefully arranged to lead him unerringly along through his oration—passages which were indeed to constitute, not only the main argument, but the main portion of hia speech. The post-prandial hour came; the only fears were lest before commencing he should refer to any one of the quotations, and by its defection discovor the [ remainder; but, no, the awful moment came, ' and he rose. After a few introductory remarks, he said, " I shall now read to the Boose what Mr. McCulloch says." Up went the spectacles on his nose; but, alas! that eminent authority was not forthcoming; up and down ! and acrosß did liis ayes flit and wander, but without avail; then he made the important announcement that he " would save the time

of the Hoose" (loud ories of bear, hear), "and proceed to nnither branch of the subject; and on this head he would also refer to Sir. McCullooh"— but with like success. So, after floundering and floundering, again and again renewed, he resumed his seat. He was not comforted when he sat down, for an old and experienced member asked him why he always referred to Mr. McCulloch's brains instead of using his own, informing him that he had a copy of McOulloob, and that it was exceedingly likely that every member of the House, able to form a judgment, bad a copy too. A FAITHPDt SOLDIER. In the year 1795 there had been some disturbance in a Highland regiment, the Breadalbano Fencibles; but the soldiers were made sensible of their misconduct, and of the necessity of consequent punishment; whereupon four men voluntarily offered themselves to nfcand trial, and suffer the sentence of the law aa an atonement for the whole. These men were accordingly marched to Edinburgh Caatlo

for trial. On the march, one of the msii stated to the officer commanding the party. Major Colin Campbell, that ho had loft business of the utmost importance to a friend in Glasgow uncompleted, which he -wished to transact before hia doath; that, as to himself, he was fully prepared io meet hia fate, but, with regard to his friend, he coald not die in peace until the business was settled, and that, if the officer would suffer him to return to Glasgow for a few hours, he would join him before he reached Edinburgh, and march as a prisoner with the party. The soldier added, "You have known mo since I was a child ; yon know my country and my kindred, and you may believe I shall never bring you to any blame by a breach of the promise I now make to be with you in full time to be delivered up in the Castle." This was a startling proposal to make to the officer; but his confidence was such that he complied with the promise of the prisoner, who returned to Glasgow at night, settled hfe business, and left the town before daylight to redeem his pledge. He was under the necessity of taking a long circuit to avoid being seen and arrested as a deserter and Bent back to Glasgow. In consequence of this caution there was no appearance of him at the appointati hour. Tho perplexity of the officer when h'o reached tho neighbourhood of Edinburgh ma'y ba easily imagined. He moved forward slowly indeed, but no soldier appeared; and, unable to delay any longer, he marched up to the Castle; arid as he was delivering over his prisoners— bat before any report waß given in—Mncmarbin, the absent soldier, rushed in among his fellow-prisoners, all pale with anxiety and fatigue, and breathless with apprehension of the consequences in which his delay might have involved hia benefactor. The whole four were tried, arid condemned to be shot; but it was determined that only one should suffer,and they were ordered to draw lots. It is some relief to know that the fatal lot was not drawn by this faithful soldier. THE SCOT ABROAD.

We believe it is Sir Archibald Alison who mentions how, when Marshal Keith was combating tho Turkish forces under the Grand Vizier, the two generals came to i conference with each other; the Grand "Vizier came mounted on a camel in all the pomp of eastern magnificence; the Scotch Marshal Keith, who originally came from the neighbourhood of Turiff in Aberdeenshire, approached on horseback. After the conference the Turkish Grand' Vizier said to Keith that he would like to speak a

few words in private to him, in his tent, and begged that no one should accompany him ; Marshal Keith accordingly went in, and the moment they conferred, the Grand Vizier threw off his turban, tore off his beard, and running to Marshal Keith, said, " Oh Johnnie,

foo'a a' wi'ye, man?" nnd he then discovered that the Grand Vizier of Turkey was ft schoolfellow of his own who had disappeared about thirty years before from a parish' school near Rlethlic. And we remember to have met with an anecdote of a Scotchman from Perth who had penetrated into some far interior of Asia—wo forget where; he had ta see the Pasha, or Bashaw, He was introduced to the comely man in the tent. They gathered up their kneos, and sat down upon their carpet. They drank their strong coffee, and smoked their hookahs together in solemn silenue j few words, at any rata passed between them, but, we may trust, sufficient for the occasion; but when the man of Perth was about to leave, the Pasha also arose, and, following him outside the tent, said, in good strong Doric Scotch, " I kenned ye vera weel in Perth; ye are just saeand sae." The Perth man was astonished, as well he might be, until the Pasha explained, as he said, "I'm just a Perth mau mysel'!"