IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume XVII, Issue 920, 1 March 1918, Page 30

IT IS TOWN TALK

—That it is a good thing for the country that some folk are taxed according to their incomes—not on what they earn. —That the only way Germany, after three years' submarine campaign, seems able to starve Britain is in prison camps. . —That "all noa-essentials must be out out." How about starting with some oft those that wear red, blue, or green round their brass caps 't —That the. absence of the fur coats which perished iu the flames at Jb'oster's Hotel, Wanganui, will make the promenade on Lambton-quay less picturesque for a while. , —That every six and a-half nights a total equal to Greater New fork's population attends the movies in that city. Who said that the popularity of the movies wouldn't last. i —That an Australian, one Jack Beamish, recently attempted to put up / ; a 56-hour endurance record. Result: He has passed hence to where: such records are of no avail. —That a lady advertiser in the "Sydney Morning Herald" "requires a partner, smart appearance, with £300, returned soldier not objected to." Why not "returned soldier preferred?" That would be practical patriotism. —That the drawing for the trousseau, which has been coveted by' every Wellington woman since it began to be displayed, was conducted last week with the apparatus used if or the soldiers' ballots, and that a grimy wharflumper was called in from the footpath and drew the luoky number. But he was not the fortunate holder of the corresponding ticket. The trousseau goes to a> well-to-do lady in Palmerston. And Dame Rumour says she has a daughter who is , engaged to be married. Fortune has certainly smiled upon her.

—That the wonders of surgery never _ cease. Headline in the daily press: . "Operations in the Air." —That the Kaiser, the Crown Prince, Hindenburg, and LudendorfE may point to Paris, but German footprints point toward Germany. —That a. certain reverend gentleman the other evening saw nothing but gold and big silver coins in his collection plate. The shock awakened him. —That there are two kinds of slackers:- The man who is trying to get out of the war all he can and the man who is trying to get all he can out of the war. ■••■" —That the British Admiralty have approved of the employment' of women as naval ratings ashore. Jill should look very swagger in her navy blue slacks. That quite a number of really estimable Wellington citizens are not playing speaks nowadays.. Wonderful how a bye-election can ruffle the feelings of usually very placid men of business 1 s —That the Commonwealth Bank in Australia is up> to date. It has already opened a Jerusalem braaich for the convenience of Australian soldiers. Now, then. New Zealand, banks get a move on.l . —That Mr. P.. O. Webb declares that Mr. Holland is one of the most capable and brilliant men who has ever faced a We presume that Mr. Webb -considers that Mr. Webb is the other one. —That the B.M.A. Lodge medicoes are on strike in Victoria. Many of New Zealand's Sawbones also feel like going on strike when they find that some of their well-to-do patients are Lodge members. • —That Wellington's girl telegraph messengers look very smart in their uniforms—and are proving equally smart in delivering the telegrams. < They promise that they won't stop in the gutters to play marbles. .... —That it would be interesting to know how much all these National Government Boards and Commissions are costing , the Dominion. How about setting up a Royal Commission to investigate the exact cost? We know quite a lot of people who would be only too pleased to serve on such a Commission—at a fat remuneration and all exes. paid.

—That! there are. rumours of another shipping amalgamation. Now for. the usual series of indignant denials. —That Mr. Holland, of Wellington, declares "Conscription has bled the country white." What Mr. Holland really meant was that it had many who remained behind white-livered. —That the ship'si company on H.M.S. New Zealand have issued cards showing the Jack Tars .drinking beer! How shocking 1 And on our gift battleship for which • members of the New Zealand Alliance, have helped to pay!

The Wellington Harbour Board staff are a very happy family. This was evident .by .the feeling of. good fellowship . that prevailed over the annual smoke concert the.other evening. of the Wellington Harbour Board Rifle Club. Mr. EL E. Nieholls '(secretary.of the W.H.8.) • presided over. a most congenial gathering. The staff naturally are very proud of their Roll of Honour, and in mentioning that 76 ■ members had enlisted for active service, Mr. A. Davies (assistant-accountant) '■ suggested that a suitable memorial to the men who had responded to the Empire's call should be erected on a prominent part of the water-front. Mr. R. A.Wright thought the suggestion a capital one, and on behalf of the Board, of which he was the only member present, he said he felt safe in pledging the Board, when the war was over, to erect a memorial that would be a credit not only to Wellington but to New Zealand. # » * * Prior to the various toasts being honoured, Mr. Davies stated that he thought the occasion was a fitting one to move a motion of condolence on behalf of the staff of the Wellington Har r bour Board with the relatives and friends of our fellow-workers who have fallen at the Front— They answered the call of duty; They fought bravely in the great fight for humanity and did their part in upholding the glorious traditions , of our race; They will never return; Let us honour their memory. * v .* * * All present stood while the motion, was carried in silence. During the evening some clever verses were read by Mr. J. M. Russell on -"Humours on the Water-front." The shooting prizes for the year were presented to the different winners by Mr. Nicholls.

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