Peeps at Parliament.

Free Lance, Volume XVII, Issue 891, 3 August 1917, Page 20

Peeps at Parliament.

From the Press Gallery,

nnHE- speech put into tiro mouth of -*- the Governer-General. at the opening of Parliament won no plaudits from the critics either for brilliance, imagination, or the information it contained. But that did not prevent the members of the House talking on this uninspiring text for nearly a month, forty-four speeches "an -hour each. The longest lane has a turning, we are told, and this long talk quietly fizzled out at the end of last week, without even a Minister to put on a finish of impressive front bench blessing. Now the field is clear for straight-out business. There are private members' Bills sufficient to take tip all the available days in more or less, futile talk, because a private member's little effort has as poor a chance of passing as-a Bill to extinguish Parliament. We started the week on Imperialism, prompted by the tabling of a supplementary report on the Imperial Conference, mirius the most interesting thingsabout the war, which 'will only be known to us in that dim distant future when the war will be a thing of the pastr The subject induced references to history, but as the Parliament Library is a bit'out'of the way, members' erudition is generally uncertain, though always available for correction in "Hansard." It was, of course, a pure slip which led Mr. Nosworthy to declare "We are going, back to the time when Disraeli was Prime Minister of New Zealand." but it was simply sheer mischief on Mr. Payne's part which led him to interject: "He was one of us, Solly," the joke,being that Mr. Payne wickedly and persistently gives his political adversary an Hebraici title. Starting on the high Imperial the House dropped heavily down into a , swamp—the Hauraki drainage area to 'be precise—another report providing pabulum. As it was-the end of the month, Supply had to be voted before the week's work Was over. Here was another chance, free as the air, for talk on any topic, so the,.valiant forty-four, who liad been debating for a month gaily, carried .on the same game till midnight, just tojshow, that they are never tired of it. "If we have a Government that won't do as we like, turn it out, and put. in a Government to do, the same thing:','— Mr. Vigor Brown when he wasn't thinking very hard. Very laughable was the way in which members greeted the National Efficiency Board's special report on the liquor question. Sir James Allen read it in full, so interested was everybody. The "House seemed quite hilarious over its possibilities, when "Sir James read out in the early stages: "We have ignored, the moral aspects of the question." Mr. Isitt was quite glum, but he had- many changes of temperature and spirits— hardly the right word perhaps for Isitt —as the report Was unfolded. When it was discovered that the Board's many recommendations included 6 o'clock closing on four days in the week, one "late night" for the hotels on another, the House stopped the reading to laugh at what members called a "facing-both-ways" attitude. But it should have waited for the end of the sentence, where the Board recommended closing up at 1 o'clock on the half-holiday. Then the Isitt tears dried up, though Mr. Wilford dolorously remarked : "Sounds glum!" "Sounds sanel" returned the Prohibitionist, who henceforth, to the end, retained a pleasant countenance, and eventually expressed his absolute delight at the report. So pleased was he with the drastic prohibition nature of the recommendations, taken as a whole, that it was quite expected that he would rush to the bar for one last glass of the calmost—but not auite —prohibited liquor, in sheer joy over a paper triumph. But he preserved his admirable negativeness, and there was no really joyous •drink for Isitt. The report is stimulating as —well, champagne—to the antiliquor party, but the Government may be depended on to act caimily over the huge question. By abandoning the excess profits tax, with its uncertainties and unfairnesses, and also disposing of any idea of imposing an export tax, ■ the Government shews it takes - more advice from members of Parliament than members of Boards which have no responsibility to the people. The Government has come in. for well-deserved criticism over its weak reference of important issues to boards of advice —and theu not taking the advice, though the process kept the people quiet till the leaders came back. Dr. Newman put this point in his typically direct way when the Efficiency Board's general report, came down. He wanted to know why members had been ignored and treated like nonentities? The only answer was that they had been asked to help in recruiting, and they were smoothed over with Sir James Allen's gratitude.

A couple of very useful Bills were advanced a-substantial stage this wee 1 ;. One wilL enable the Government to revoke, naturalisation where it is show a that the foreigner in becoming -i naturalised Englishman, has not hs,r\ pure love and affection for his adopted country in view. Time and time again Mr. Wilford has told successive front bench statesmen about the German law which enables a Hun to "naturalise" outside the Fatherland and retain his German nationality—an obvious method of making it easy for spy Huns to win the confidence of our easy-going, too tolerant people. Now, after three years of war, we are actually going to put our foot down. .And we have even awakened to the fact, that high falutin' business titles, appealing to our-patri-otic instincts, are not usually adopted by undemonstrative Britishers, but are left as. easy prey to foreigners who would arouse suspicion if their real names were paraded. So we have, a Bill to force'the registration of businesstitles, accompanied with power to ascertain whether the British, or . the Imperial, or the-John Bull something or other isn't Herr Sauerkraut trading under a sweeter name than his own. The House showed its ready acceptance of these measures by putting: ' them through the second reading stage in a few minutes, incidentally upsetting the Government's expectation that members would make a night of it. So Parliament put up the shutters at 5.30 p.m. instead of the usual midnight on Tuesday, members to spend an evening devising a War Budget which would beat Sir Joe's. Who could have thought of a finer point to please the honest, working man than the suggestion Mr. Eli made about midnight, this week, that it would be excellent to prohibit poisoning rabbits, for the reason that trapped bunnies make splendid food, and a good substitute, for dear butchers' .meat? Mr. Ell. so mild and earnest, had no suspicion of the hubbub lie could create with his suggestion. Though everybody wanted to get to bed, the House suddenly, became wide awake with energy and criticism. The sins of the National Government, it seems, are as nothing to the' depredations of friend bunny in the South Island, and when we.heard" what the.Otago members bad to say about Mr. Ell and cheap meat, we almost expected him to resign and fight a by-election against one of his tormentors, on the issue of "cheap meat for the masses." Such; a big storm over the tiny rabbit, which is a monster, in the eyes of the farming members! Eight rabbits, it appears, eat as much as one sheep, and bunny has been known t«> eat a. sheep fanner off his farm. Till. 1 a..m. the House was frantically engaged in this rabbit-hunt, and Mr. Ell dared not ppen his mouth again. We were even promised (Ministerially) a Rabbit Commission,- "drastic steps," and what not against bunny and liis liarbourers. Dunedin must have a "guid conceit 6' itself." Dunedin Statha.ni, talking about some .horrible, disclosures of immorality in the southern city, had the . coolness to tell us: "If such a state of things prevails in Dunedin I tremble to think what happens in-other parts of New Zealand." ~ - . "Budget night" is a .great affair for the public. Seats in the galleries are hustled for like, theatre "early doors," and "house full" has to be announced long before Mr. Speaker officially'hauls up the curtain.. Sir Joseph Ward read tirelessly for two hours, and, once he had passed the somewhat formal though terrifying large figures in the commencement, there was intense interest over - every word. The amusement tax produced a quiet but general chorus of -approval, but the listeners were not disposed to take seriously the Budget exrjlanation that. anti-shouting regulations are mainly • responsible for the beer duty dropping heavily. Somebody said this was a fairy tale, and when there was a chance of making a speech, Mr. Pearce explained how the breWers, when they had to pay- tax according to strength, weakened the beverage and dodged the extra taxation. The Finance Minister gave some satisfaction . to those who like their beer strong by suggesting that if the weakening process keeps on he can keep pace nicely with strengthened duty. Until members have compared notes, and read the Budget carefully, they haven't very definite opinions about it except that it seems to get at the affluent, and to pay commendable attention to' the niggardly rich by picking them out for" penal taxation when they are • not patriotic enough to support our war loan. The long Budget " debate will start on Tuesday.