FUN AND FANCY

Northern Advocate, 16 March 1929, Page 7

FUN AND FANCY

CURRENT HUMOUR THE HONEST CHEMIST. Customer: *‘Have you anything for grey hair?” Conscientious Chemist: “Nothing but the greatest respect, sir.” Si 85 THE PROBLEM. A farmer, visiting his son’s college and wandering, into a chemistry class, saw some students busy experimenting. “What are you trying to do?” he asked. “We’re endeavouring,” replied one of the students, “to discover or invent a universal solvent.” “What’s that?” dsked the farmer. “A liquid that wall dissolve anything.” “That’s a great idea,” agreed the farmer, “When you find it, what are you going to keep it in?”

m $ 35 $ INQUISITIVE. The theatre magnate was engaging actors for the new production, and interviewed a young player who seemed perfectly satisfactory for the part, but asked a salary that made the magnate’s hair rise. “No, no! You are too inquisitive!” snapped the magnate. The aspirant was bewildered. “How do you mean—inquisitive?” he stammered. “You ask too much,” the theatre man retorted. S 5 Si Si r M THE INNER CAT. Little Doris has a eat on wheih she lavished all her young affections, and when it was lost she refused to be comforted. Grandma bought her a beautiful Angora kitten, but Doris was still loyal to the loved and lost pet. “See, dear,” grandma said one day, stroking the lovely thick fur, “isn’t this one much prettier than the other kitty?” Little Doris 1 gulped and her eyes filled with tears, “But, grandma,” she quavered, “it’s the inside of a cat that'eounts!”

PERPETUITY. ! ... The mistress of the house thought it was quite time she paid a visit to the kitchen to see how the new maid kept the place. v Jane,” she began, “all these things must be a change from, the country and their way of doing things. What do you think of the electric fire and the electric cooker ? ” The maid, who had never seen such modern innovations before in her 'life* was very pleased with them both. . “I think they’re wonderful, ma’am,” she replied blithely. “TheyVe neither of ’em gone out since I came ’ere nearly six weeks ago.” , If! §§ PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE. Father: “Why are you always behind with your studies, Robert?” Robert (quickly):. “So that I can pursue them, father,” N

m ® w. ss RARE DISH. “How did this rare dish come to be broken, Norah?” i “It’s too bad, ma’am; you see I was accidentally dusting it.” W: S 3 3WORTH IT. Her Father: “No need to ask if you can keep my daughter in the manner in which she has been accustomed, what? I understand you are worth £3OOO a year?” Prospective Son-in-law: “Yes, that’s correct, sir, but—er—l don’t get it.”

m w> WITHOUT GRAVY. The Young Wife: “How do you like the joint, dear?” Her Husband: “Fine; but where’s the gravy?” “I wondered how soon you’d miss it, you absent-minded boy. You didn’t bring a drop with the meat.”

THE AMATEUR. Old Lady (who is making her first appearance at a football match): “What are these lads chasing a little ball like that for?” Enthusiastic Son: “To see who can place it in the net first.” Old Lady: “That would be quite easy if they would get out of each other’s way.” ® £ K & THE WRONG ONE. “I called on Mabel last night, and was no sooner inside the door when her mother iasked me my intentions. “That must have been embarrassing.” “Yes, but that’s not the worst of it, Mabel called from upstaii’s and said, “That isn’t the one, mother.”

SECURE. One morning a young clerk reported to his chief that he had lost the key of the safe containing important books and documents. “But I gave you a duplicate key,” said the chief. “You haven’t lost that as well, I suppose?” “No, sir. I know where that is. I thought I might lose the duplicate key, so I put it in the safe!”