THE MAD WORLD

Maoriland Worker, Volume 11, Issue 449, 15 October 1919, Page 2

THE MAD WORLD

ig By SANCHO PANZA. £

s <4 § S It's a mad w-orld, my masters. — g $ Don Quixote. #

Oi.ce iik,iv the whirligig of Time brings its ivvenges, and I am obliged to b e iunnv. It is difficult to sin Ho with an .'idling tioart, especially wht>n one realises in the depths of liis soul that "Life is no grimace but a nio*r. serious fact." 'Vet, at. bottom, laughter and teat* aiv o!tHf> allied, and Sam.ho Pan/a finds it it<T«--:iry ■_~-> laugh t<> prevent him _roV:isr mad*, ami 'uuablv Ho let tli-Mad W'e'rld «e-o iiow mad it is, which would be. a iiiisiortuiie not meM-ely to j Ut-e but. to the Worlel. j Some Old Country parsom arc giving ! ur- tl.,- wi..i-.L of "■■ciu'iiij; s_uls" and ! !i*:'*k;n : ,' an iiOue.--c < ilort U> e'-ini their ! hr,..id *i v tlio ywent- of own brows. ! Tiii... will j<iv* better of 1 sir;, dignity ot Labor t* f 'an. ™ n * M K ot " i trum all the mid-Vie-torian elcquenco on the.. >aibje-(.-i. 'i'lie rector of i.niberto_< has joint-el ilif Nationut Union of gene?ral wnrkers, for tli'» reason that the? -i<:kne?s* and uneinployineiit l>enents niay be u?eful to him should lie live a le w years longer. Lvidenlly On- are to act up to tho eoniniandnie.it "Work and Pray." Too literal a faith in the Scripture^ ha-: led t« Liv- undoing- of a oleu'ic of the. Holy Jtoller persuasion, who told Ilk wife" that- t n e Lord would provide, and refilled to work until he got a sign from the Lord telling him when to begin. As the"Lord was in no hurry, tho wife of the Rev. Frank M. Rhoads got a divorce from h.m wh<m she saw th? larder became empty and no sign of its replenishing appeared visible". Then the sky pilot was to set work without any sign from the Lord, but at. the behest of a., cruel Jaw. lie i pto-L a job in. an iron works and may j be rcllet-.tins on the irony of fate ia l-ivin- him more faith than ccnnnon : sense. ! High moral grounds for the slaughter ' of a protilcer was pleaded l)y a JapanI otlic-ial who clubbed to death a rich I rice importer. H« said he slew the ( rice baron l because of h's wickedness. ! He was not tit to live. Th e Jap's ideas ci morals are primitive. Whieu they get more civilised they will reward their profiteers with title-, and club to death those who growl at them. They do everytldng tho wrong way about in the Last. T;>cy are a primitive folk and don't seem to knov. that the people who are not fit to live are ju'*'t those who get the best out of life in civilised countries. It is all n ged that the Wowsers if America, having succeeded in banishing Sii'oug Drink, arp turning' their attention to tea, coli'ee, tobacco, and +he gentle habit cf kissing. There is-such a tlnng as being too- good for this World. What the good year, let us be human beings hero below, we shall havo all eternity to be angels. Ti'iTee things every true son of Adam loves, and that is wine, woman and song. Who loves not Wcrnan, Song and Wine, Shall never bo a friend c,' mmt 1 . If the Wowsers get their way and abolish wine and ki»siu_;, t'«eu th_. next thing the?y will w:i':. to do is to abolish woiv.a::, ..'.■• bviii:; a fo < i.c sons of woriil .:; ! iio \i';■•'> ...f' toj. <JiU- 0 I..i:J, v. 1- ." ~iii-i:i,: hi; iy:-i- :;-•. v.nde: .— ! I\'\: , '• * i .\':.r 1 iv,!. cup _w.>.y, I ';.; . ■ 1 --.■..-•.■ st. i ."o '« 'ne. "I'v. jli n.aivo my wandering footsteps stray Frwn the path that, should lx> mine. From win:?, and woman, and all ev>2, liiiardian anged, feep mc free! I.e>t. 1 snared be by the devil At:d h»> tl't.-s away witii-. tne. Away \vii h in«. Take. O lake those lips; away, Lip- of .Mildred, ro-y red, I must not touch thorn, doctors say, All Love's joys are banish-ed: Broken ii-nv is Cupid's dart, Courting soon will be forbidden, Su'i'n fho world and sad my heart. Where shall lover= blyrhe be hidden? Jilythe be hidden. Hush, (.) hu-'h. tlie song and play, the hoar Dramatic Critic, Well-ti-way and lack a-elay, Quoth he—Xo mor.> I'll stick it: Fill jinf. with the rosy wine. Here's my last tune on the oboe; Fare ye well, (.) t'riemls o' mine— Ai.d (limbles oft this giddy {ilobe, O, <iiddy Globe O. \ Put, O put fiire pipe aside, Shun the fragrant cup of tea; Lathe not in tho briny tide. Go ne,t picturo shows to see; Nothing left on earth to tempt us, Soon we -jeraphirn will be! frothing of old Adam left, us, Lvfcji Kve has e.aved to )a.'. Ceas.Hl to be; Heaven on Faith we ?oon Bhall see. Soon shall seel Place, 0 place mc in my tomb, Lightly lay the earth upon it, Friends, bewail th c po-_ Ponp s doom, llinstrol Boy, write thou a sonnet: To his virtues be thou gracious, As hopest for salvation, Forget his sius, his heart was spacious, Pray that lie? may dodge damnation. Dodge, damnation. Somebody tells a good story of the anther of "Philosophic Doubt," Arthur James Balfour, who plays at golf and politics. Ho was playing rouml a strange course. As often happens on such occasions he consulted his diminutive caddie as to distance-, and forth. After the first iliiee holes the little caddie' handed him ths neivss.wy club, and said, ".Man it's a halt «dut wi' yer mastne.''' At the c-nd ot the game, Mr. Balfour, havin'jj played with much success, handed flio vv(, e man a pretty substantial lip. The fellow spat O/.- t«.e coin, and looking up at the r.uihor of "Philosophic Doubt" said, "Fh, man, if J had yer leg* and ye had ma intellect, what a fellow we'd mak." The sequel to fii.s vain, ent.ngh to bo true, is that

someone billing next the great man a 1 dinner asked him if it were true. With his charming smile, "Pretty Fanny" said: "If it were not I should like to believe it was." See how philosophic doubt has made- it impossible* for the amiable Mr. Balfour to say plainly Aye or Nay. He still leaves "an inevitable margin of doubt" to exercise the minds of his admirers. * -X- * -s A great deal c.'i fuss .is being; made about, what is known as education. There in no doubt education is a good thing, iind that knowledge- is power. Anyone who eloiibts it is invitee! to cast, li'is ~r hi»i cyv over the following ! entertaining essiy on Henry the Highlit written by n Natal ludian schoolboy. "Henry VITI was tho greatest widower that «>vcr lived. H<* was b*n_ at. Anno Domini in the year IOGG. Ho had Ml) wives, besides* women ami children. The •irs. was beheaded and afterwards executed. The second was revoked —she never smiled a'.*aiu. The greatest man in his reign was Lord Wolsey. lie was called the Boy Bachelor, being at the age of 15 unmarried. Hail hie served his wife as diligently as he had eerved king, .she would not; hives deprived him of hi s gray hairs. Henry VIII quarreled with LoTd Wolsey because he courted Ann© Boleyn. Be also quarreled with tho Pope, lieeause he called him Fielo the Offensive, Dandy Lion, and other unpleasant appetites. Be also quarreled with l-be'i monasteries. He. pulleel down the barns antl built greater; and the last state of that man was worse than the first. He died on the Fielel of Cloth and Gold; hss horso trod on a hot cinder, and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. In this reign tho Bible was translated into Latin by Titus Gates, who was ordered by the King: to be chained up in] Church, it w~s i n this reign also that the Duke lof Wellington discovered America, and invented curfew bells to prevent fires in theatres. There was also a great fire in London called the Black Death, and nfter the fire came the earthquake, and after the earthquake a still small voice. Henry VIII was succeeded by hi* great-grondmother, the beautiful and accomplished Mary, Queen of Scots, sometimes called the Lady of the Lake or thte Lay cf the Last Minstrel."