HUMOUR Tall Order

Manawatu Times, Volume 62, Issue 152, 29 June 1937, Page 5

HUMOUR

Tall Order

, Testimonial The proprietor of a small town newspaper, in response to an injuiry as to tho effectiveness of his small ads., received tho following:— "Dear Sir, 1 am happy to testify to the* value of your excellent paper. On Tuesday last I lost my wallet containing £ls in Treasury notes. I advertised in your paper the same night, and during the following morning found my wallet in tho pocket of another suit of clothes. Heaven bless you anti your staff for your marvellous assistance. • • <S> 3> <& “Pretend that you have no tooth-* acly*," said the faith curist. “Persuade yourself that it is all imagination, suggested by an evil power. Say: ‘Get thee behind me!' " “What, and turn it into lumbago?"

Suspicions An old Scotswoman, taken ill, told her daughter to send for the minister. But the daughter was more modern than her mother, and sent for the doctor. He found little the matter; and, when he had gone, leaving the daughter fully instructed in the treatment, the old body called down stairs: "Mary, who wis yon young mon?" “He wis the doctor, jnither." “Oh, aye!"—after a short pause—“l thocht he wis a lectle too fameeliar for the meenister."

A messenger from tho stores hailr a vessel in Southampton Docks. “What do you want?" growled tho mate. “Got some vegetables for the ship," was the reply. “All right, you needn't come on board; throw them up one at a time," said the mate. “Ahoy, there, look out!" shouted tho lad, as he threw a small dried pea towards the mate. ‘‘l’ve got a hundredweight of these!"

Confusion A woman who did not understand me language of business went into the Bank of England to consult someone about her loan holding. The clerk to whom she talked happened to bo rather a grave person. He inquired:— “Is it a case of conversion of redemption, madam?" “Conversion? Redemption?’’ faltered tho woman. "Er—pardon me, is this the Bank of England or the Chu" !i of England?" <s> «> In a mining camp in Northern Rhodesia a dour employee was taking a moonlight stroll about seven o’clock. He noticed that the sky was full of fleeting clouds which looked dark and angry. They were magnificent in .ueir wild mood, lit up by occasional flashes of vivid lightning. As he stood admiring the scene a friend came up and greeted him. “It looks as though it’s going to be a wild night, Bill!" “I don’t know, Jack," replied Bill. “Haven’t had a drink yet."