HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 62, Issue 5, 7 January 1937, Page 5

HUMOUR

LOGIC It happened in an Irish police court. An old offender was summoned for being drunk and disorderly. “Ten shillings or a fortnight,” skid the magistrate. “But, sir, I’ve only got two shillings in the world,” said the prisoner. “Well, you must go to gaol. If you hadn’t spent the money on drink you would have been able to pay the fine.”

During a natural history lesson, the teacheer asked the class to name an animal peculiar to Britain. “The camel,” said Henry. “Thaat is not a native of these islands,” said the teacher. “I know it isn’t,” replied Henry; “that’s why it would be peculiar.”

Recount A man who had been celebrating with his friends a recent happy event in his ;family continued on to the Registrar's office, where he stood for a moment collecting his thoughts. Then he said to the Registrar: “Gentlemen, I’ve come to register my twins.” 44 Why do you address me as ‘gentlemen’? I’m alone here,’’ said the Registrar. “Is that so?” said the newly-made father, rubbing his eyes. ‘‘Then I reckon I’d better go home and have another look at that cradle.”

Tiring “I’m very tired,” said Mrs Jones from the head of the supper-table, one {Sunday evening. “You shouldn’t be,” said the minister, who had been asked to the evening meal. “You haven’t preached two sermons to-day.” “No,” said Mrs Jones, absent-mind-edly, “but 1 listened to them.”

Teacher: “Watson, give mo a sentence which includes the word “fascinate.’ ” Pupil (after deep thought): “My father has a waistcoat with ten button.' on, but he can only fasten eight.” <§> <S* <& A Long Time Gone “You probably don’t remember me, ’• began the self-made man proudly, “but twenty years ago when I was a poor, humble boy, you gave me a message to carry.” 44 Yes, yes,” cried the busy man: “where’s the answer!”