THE CHESTNUT TREE

Manawatu Times, Volume LV, Issue 6746, 2 January 1932, Page 4

THE CHESTNUT TREE

War Victim— " Rastus,” said the Judge, "wife desertion is a serious offence, and I must deal with it severely.”

“But, Judge,” said Rastus, "you don’t know my wife. I ain’t no deserter, sah—i’s a refugee.”

•H- * * A Woman’s Last Word—First Chorus Girl (quarrelling in dressingroom): Not only that, but you get uglier every day! Second Chorus Girl: Another thing that I can do and you can't!

Misinterpreted. "Good heavans, Jane!” cried Mrs Gould as her favourite vase smashed to smithereens on the floor. “My precious vase!” “It’s all ri&ht, mum. Master was going to smash it, anyway." “Whatever do you mean?”

“Why, mum, I heard him say he’d been advised to put it under the hammer.”

A Doublet. —Two Scotsmen met in the street. One recognised that the other was more or less intoxicated, and said: “Well, Macphersou, here’s the 27-1 owe you”—and gave him one! vf vf •X’ Appropriate. —“ What became of that clerk you had here?” “I had to Are him. A man came with his bride to buy a book for reading on their honeymoon, and the stupid assistant offered her R. L. Stevenson’s book “Travels With a Donkey.” Fitting Herself.— Parent: My daughter has obtained a position in a lawyer’s office. She starts on the first. Friend: And in the meantime is she doing anything to lit herself for the work.

Parent: Yes, she is reading “Bertha, the Beautiful Blonde stenographer,” or “The Mystery of the Broken Collar Stud.”