BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIII, Issue 121, 20 May 1909, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

" A little nonsense now and then, i£^ relished by the wisest men." Holy- Thursday. Nelson folk are preparing to receive the ocean liner Kaikoura, which is expected to reach the wharf without mishap about the end. of the month. May 20.—Born: Albert Durer, artist, 1471; Elijah Fenton, poet, Died: Christopher Columbus,, 1506 ; Nicholas Brady, D.D., joint translator of the> Psalms into English, 1/26; Charles Bonnet, naturalist, 1793, She: Who rocks the cradle rules the world. Remember that! He: Then ah—you come in and rule the world. I'm tired. -. =«■ A butter factory in the Stratford district which was offered lHd. M- its season's output, but declined to sell, figures out its loss at about £5000,; and the directors had nothing to make a surplus out of to smooth the ruffled feathers of their suppliers. ' She: Just look at that man on the bicycle. Why on earth does he stoop so? He: He must' be trying to put his shoulder to the wheel. A Wellington paper says that the "biggest wooden building in the world" has now vacant rooms on nearly every floor, significant of changes which have already been made in the reorganisation of the Civil Service. "Very slippery floor," remarked a young man, as the band played a popular waltz, "It's jolly hard to "keep-on your feet." # "Oh, then, you are trying to keep on my feet, are you?" said his partner. '"I thought at first it was accidental." James Blair, who was widely known throughput Scotland as "the Hingis fiddler,'"- has died at Aberdeen. He was the King's special ghillie ■ for a, number of' years. He taught Highj land dances to many members of the ■ Royal Family. ; ..■'■ >

Une clay a.uoy came w mmuw wiui very dirty hands, and the master said to him:— :,:. .-, •■ '. ' . . ■:; • ••■' 1 :' 'James, I wish/ you -would not come to school with. : your hands'/in: that state. What would you' say if I came to school with dirty hands?" • "I wouldn't say anything," was the prompt reply. , "I'd be too polite. The Rev. Evan Jones, to1 give him his full title, although he prefers to be known as -'Evan Jones," "who has been elected President of the National Free Church Council, began life as a printer's apprentice. He worked at the "case" and machines for over six years. , .* Barber (rather-slow)— Beg pardon, sir, but your hair is burning a bit gray. Victim—Shouldn't... woiider. Look at the time I've been here. The Chrustchurch Pre^s urges the Government not to allow a party of Maoris to visit the .United States. An anonymous donor, has given 40. acres of orchard-and several cottages, with £600 to put them in good order, to the Melbourne Homes for Neglected Children. v

Johnnie (to new visitor) —So your are my. grandma, are. you? Grandmother—Yes, Johnnie! f "''l'm' your grandma on> your' father's side. Johnnie—-Well, you're on the*l wrong side, you'll" find, that out! . ' , v The Manawat'u Boxing Association has matched T. Tracy aiid J. Griffin for a £50'! purse andi-the" light-weight professional championship of New Zealand The match takes place' at Palmerston on 18th June. . ' /. "And you wouldn't begin a journey on Friday?" ."Not I." {'I.can_;t understand why you'can have faith' in such a- silly * superstition." "No superstition about it.-.' Saturday is my pay-day/ ■ ' /■ ■' ; ..■■'.' -..•.;. ; ■. ' ■■''

Space has been booked by a wellknown Southland breeder for over a dozen draught horses by the first steamer sailing in July from Bluff to Melbourne.

AYe are only asking for universal training. The question of service will always bo voluntary, except in the casebf a national crisis, where the law now provides for the calling out of the militia.—Hon. R. McNab.

' "Have you anythinv-that'Sjgood for rheumatism?" asked the man iriv.achemist's shop recently!in Sheffield. ".; "Here's the very thing for you," replied the. chemist briskly; "our lightning; cure. Why, sir,; .a customer of;! ours was lying in bed on Monday, unable to moye; on Tuesday he tried our lightning cure, and on Wednesday_ he was fined a sovereign at the policecourt for furiously riding his bicycle in the'street." . >/•' .■■'

Once upon .a time Mr Kipling ■ wrote a not very robust poem upon, that melancholy text,1 "You must choose between me and your cigar." Now we hear of a brave young man in Buda- Pesth who told his ladylove that she must give up her cigarette or him. He is now disengaged. The' worst of arrogance is;that it lays one open to crushing and painful! retorts of this kind.. ' '».'.-'