THE WEEK, THE WORLD, AND WELLINGTON.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLII, Issue 109, 9 May 1908, Page 6

THE WEEK, THE WORLD, AND WELLINGTON.

By .Frank Morton,

I went a few night ago to hear Sir Joseph Ward -£alk to the Liberal and Labour Federation. He talked figures- and the figures were, on the whole,' extremely comforting. It would be the merest twaddle now to pretend that the country is not in a high state of what you call national prosperity. The people are paying so much by way of taxation that there is something left over to pay for things that were not fully provided for in the Estimates last year. The Post Office (although you can't buy stamps after five o'clock) is doing a lot of Work. The railways, however slow the trains, do a big business and continue to ■pay. And there is no need to anticipate any immediate increase of taxation. That is good hearing. , True, Sir Joseph rather more tnan hinted that at some period in the dim future that is not altogether beyond anticipation an increase of taxation might become necessary. And he assured his entirely syniT pathetic : hearers that the smiling people would be quite prepared to pay. A man of strong and constant faith is Sir Joseph, ~ That Sir Joseph is suffering from a heavy and disturbing cold just now is matter of genuine and general regret. Of his personal hold on the affections, of the people there can be no doubt Whatever, just as there,can be no doubt that personally he deserves it. His unfailing genial humour is in itself an excellent equipment for a public man: singularly excellent because in his case it is not assumed. You could never by any stretch of imagination picture him deliberately unkind. A gentle friend he is, and a generous enemy, m politics or outside politics. One loves to think of him (in dreams), removed to some all-joyous arcady, sitting xinder his 'own well-laden vine or fig-tree, happily, consenting and intending to give the baby the moon. There have surely been few men in the world so pleased to be and to give pleasure as Sir Joseph Ward is. \ I met in the street to-day my indomitably cheerful and all-loving friend, Nelson Illingworth, the sculptpr. I acceded to,his suggestion that h^ should straightway buy something; and he also said that this was a very prosperous country. As he did away with his portion of the thing purr chased, he told me that he could already conjugate in Maori. He offered an example, which certainly sounded striking. He is, you know, retained to go .forth, into the length and breadth, the 'bosky dells, and fastnesses of hte land, and perpetuate Maori types for the men of 2376 to admire and reverence. In spite of all temptations to sculp for other nations, he means to do it. He says the work is inspiring, but the models are trying. One day the model will come to time; and certain other days, sometimes a long succession of days, the model will not come at,all. In the whirling city, it seems, these children'of nature are proud and shy. So Nelson Illingwortn, my indomitably cheerful and all-loving friend, says that he shall shortly hie him to their baronial halls. That is why he is learning to conjugate. I assured him* that I was very glad, and his beaming smile made me confident that he believed me. It is good to be young and famous and strong and sweet: but, oh, it is better to be Illingworth! The cabled news that Britain is negotiating for the acquisition, in addition to Eelantan and Trengganu, of the districts of Kedah and portions of Rahman and Patani, in the Malay Peninsula, brings over me a flood of memories that loosen the heartstrings. All that country in the

north of the Peninsula towards Siam is the sweetest and most delightful country in the world. The sun gladdens all the days, and -all the nights are cool. The people are grave and gentle, humorous and kind. The livers are full of fish, and the jungle is full of game. If you ever want to take a holiday off the beaten track, go to Singapore, and thence take a small steamer up the East Coast of the Peninsula. Nothing ever happens there, so that the place should phine as a place of homely rest to the tourist from Marlborough. I well remember the pathetic gratification of a portly - globe-trotter I once met in Burmah. He had discovered a pagoda that somehow or other—-in a manner o' speakin'—reminded him of the Trades Hall in Manchester. I said something impulsive, and he never spoke to me again. Mr Henniker Heaton is advocating an Imperial cable-service, with a rate of a penny a word. He has; done much for postal reform", this breezy optimist, but his new idea will make the ordinary reformer breathless. Oi: course, all things are possible. By and by, when our grandchildren 'are able to go for a weekend trip to London by aeroplane at a cost of thirty shillings, the Imperial cable rate may not be more than a halfpenny a word. In the meantime, some of us would be quite happy to see it come down to a shilling. As in the Bible-in-schools controversy, an interesting sidelight comes | from London, where a popularity test jof books in circulation among the I children of elementary schools , has been in progress. " Andersen's Fairy I Tales" comes first, 5877, and " Grimm's Stories" second, 4227. '" Pilgrim's Progress " comes seveni teenth and last, 1244. It is the only definitely religious book of the seventeen. The only other book dealing directly with Biblical scenes and chraacters, "The Land and the Book," has been withdrawn from the list by :he Education Committee of the London County Council. There was no demand for it. Children in these schools have scriptural instruction. Which is to say that the Bible, is not barred. Bishop Neligan, who has latterly had so much to say about pagan New Zealand, might reasonably be asked to explain. 1 have made somewhat of a hobby of languages, and. lately /although I am a lover of the picturesqueness of variety) I have been looking into Esperanto. As a universal language, I have decided that it won't do. It is very simple. It is very ingenious. It is apparently complete enough for all ordinary or commercial uses. But —it seems to be the ugliest language under the sun. As to that, of course, 1 may be mistaken. I have no knowledge of Choctaw;. ■ _ ' A point oh labour. A friend of mine has recently been looking for a really first-rate woman typist and accountant. He begins to think he's suited; but he's not sure, and he has had extraordinary difficulty in getting anybody of promise adequate to his requirement. If you want a woman typist or secretary for work of'"special* quality and moment; you'll find the same difficulty. Typists, in short, are seldom adequately trained y or it may be that the girls in training have not adequate intelligence. For one thing, their punctuation is almost always awful. For that, the primary and secondary schools are, perhaps, chiefly, responsible. Children are not -taught to punctuate properly, because a large number of the teachers do not themselves punctuate properly. The defect is common. I know one man—M.A. at ah English University, and Premier in his own country—who wrote unintelligible letters dotted and splashed apparently at haphazard with commas and dashos. Very occasion-r ally, when he had an idea that a sentence might profitably, end about there, he'ji dab in a. semi-colon. If you want* to test your patience, go into the nearest typist's office and dictate a page or two of manuscript. If the typist takes a shorthand-note, you will probably be astounded when you see the transcript. If she writes direct from dictation, you will almost as surely find some words you never saw spelt in that way before. Fact is-that in all education and training nowadays, i;here is too, great confusr ion, too keen a desire to be newfangled and smart. I have looked closely into several of these new shorthand systems, and I have discovered nothing so good as Pitman's. It is so simple that any person of ordinary intelligence^ can learn it in a few weeks. It is so legible that I, who write a frantic and wonderful longhand, can read fluently my shorthand notes of ten years ago. It is so effective that any writer of fair intelligence and good average dexterity can speedily attain to any neecssary speed. But people are for ever making haste to learn new systems. I don't blame the people who invent new systems, because (after all) that is a fairly reputable way of making money. But

H.TESUMATISM CTTKED

■'For many weary years 1 suffered horn great debility and acute rheumatism ; I had'stiffness in the joints and muscles, more particularly in the back, whore the pain was most excruciating. My appetite failed and I became weak and irritable. I tried every treatm^.*. and medicine I■ could hear.of that was likely to do me good, but without avail. I had lost faith in patent medicines, but my -siifferings were so great lh:U when Warner's Safe Cure was biought under my notice I gave it a tnal. When I had taken the contc-nv* r,f one bottle I obtained great relief. 1 continued taking the medicine for some time, when I was relieved of ail pain and suffering. My recovery was to me a great surprise, for I am getting on in years. ' I have lived in this district for over fifty years." This letter is from Mrs. Eliza Macrush, 15, Gurner Street, Padduigton. Sydney. STOKE CUBED. " Some ten years ago I was attacked by great pains in. the back and' groin, which •af times were sp severe that I almost screamed with "agony. I was treated by doctors for fully five years, and also tried several patent medicines, but obtained no relief. I at last despaired of ever getting well again, but was recommended by a friend to try Warners Safe.-.Cure, as it had given him immense relief in a similar case. I followed his advice, and after taking, the medicine for a while, I passed a stone about three-quarters of an inch long and a quarter of an inch wide. I am pleased to say that, after this isi one had come away, my sufferings i were at an end, and I have not suffered lin the slightest, degree since. Many of rr.v friends know of my case, and I always keep tinstone I passed.^ I can confidently ' recommend. Warner's Safe Cure in cases like mine, as I am thoroughly convinced that ,- it saved me many" years of agony, if not my very life itself." -: . ~ This letler is from Mr. James Grant, Grocer, 126, Young Street, Annandale, N.S.W. BLADDEH DISEASE CURED. "No one knbws the suffering I went tFroitgh before I began ,to take Warner's Safe Cure. For ten ■years-! .suf-' fered from my kidneys and liver, and finally bladder. disease set in. ,1 have been' in five hospitals—three in New South Wales and two in Victoria, i wa,s" operated on. . , I consulted many doctors, but never obtained nioro'th.in. temporary relief until a friend induced me to take Warner's Safe Cure. I gave the medicine a fair trial, and, to my. surprise and delight, I began to get better rapidly, until now I am in perfect health. .1 never felt better in my life, and lam 70 years of age. I only wish that 1 had taken Warner's Safe Cure long ago, as Iknow'that I should then have been, spared years of agony. I hope that you will publish this letter far and wide so that other sufferers from bladder trouble may know how to obtain relief.: ~1 cannot praise Warner's Safe Cure too highly.. To\me it has been the greatest boon." This letter is from Mr. M: Nolan, Picton Cottage, .21, Hopkins Street, Bichmond, Vie, ; In addition tip the regular 5/- and 2/9 bottles of Warner's Safe Cure, a concentrated form of the medicine is now issued at 2/6 per'bofatle. Warner's Safe Cure (Concentrated) is not compound^ ed with alcohol, and contains the same number oi doses as the 5/- bottle of Warner's Safe Cure. A treatise will be sent, post free, by H. H. Warner and Co., Ltd:> Australasian Branch, Melbourne. »

I do deprecate the stupidity of people who, being desirous of going in tor commercial or newspaper work, take trouble to- learn - some unproved system that nobody else uses. I once worked' with a man who wrote the good and useful Sloan-Duployan system. AH the rest of its wrote Pitr man; and the Sloan-Duployan man1, not being able to give or to receive assistance in case of uncertainty in a note, was a nuisance to himself and to everybody else in the office. If you want yc/ur boy or girl to learn shorthand—an admirable intention, I assure you—pray accept the" testimony of a million busy and experienced men and women that Pitman is good enough for anything. Learn the system thoroughly, and don't worry about improvements introduced after you have learned it. I write the Pitman of twenty years ago, and the highest accredited speed I ever made was 214 words a minute for eleven minutes—Senator Henry Dobson of Tasmania, the most irritating speaker on earth to the reporter— but while I was reporting I always managed to worry through. Out in India with the Opium Commission, I worked for awhile with that admirable reporter (some years dead now), Thomas Allen Reed. I used to see beautiful "facsimile" reproductions of his alleged notes in shorthand journals, but in actual practice he was so antiquated that he did not even use what we slaves of the clapper know as the sway circle. He knew the later improvements, and some of them he had gathered or invented ; but in his own work, he used the shorthand he first started reporting with.

One of the major events of the week has been the putting up of a new club-swinging record by the champion of the world, Mr Tom Burrows. He swung the clubs without a moment's pause for over sixty-two hours, The swinging was throughout a quite delightful and remarkable exhibition. And the swinger, his great feat accomplished, did not an^ear to be, vory badly exhausted or distressed. It must be borne in mind that there could be no doubt at all (>f the genuineness of the performance. There was a vigilant committee of disinterested persons, and some of us were looking in and out at all hours of the days!and nights. What, then, is the feat worth? As to that opinions differ. Many good folk consider that the whole thing was foolish, if not a quite disgraceful exhibition. I confess that I have, or had, some sympathy with these. So I saw Burrows about it. He is an extremely intelligent and extremely amiable athlete. The criticism did not incense him in the least. He was anxious to explain, although at the time he had been swinging the clubs without a break for over forty hours. He swung as he talked. "First cf all," he said, "an exhibition like this brings the value of clubs forcibly home to the public. No man ever sees me swinging often without wanting to swing himself. That is a good thing. I hold that this is absolutely the finest form of exercise for health and development. There is no injurious strain or wrench. The whole body benefits. When a man swings the clubs regularly for any length of time he looks better and feels better than he did before he started. If his digestion has been bad, hesoon begins to digest comfortably. If he has breathed badly, he bpgins to breathe pronerly. As to the endurance test—well, all I've got to say is that if physical endurance is a good thing to cultivate, my endurance test must be a

good thing. Of course, I know that people will tell you.that I'm killing myself, that my constitution and nerves must break down, and all the rest of it. Well, I'm forty years old. I've been swinging clubs and doing tests for more years than I care to count. Ask the doctors whether my physique is impaired. Ask them how my nerves are. Ask them how I compare with average sober men of forty. I'm prepared to stand or fall by what they say. I'm a fairly allround athlete. I'm passionately fond of athletics, and I never felt better in my life. Of course I feel a little tired just now ; but if you talk about possibilities of collapse I want to laugh. With. the people who talk about fake, and make out that I don't go straight, I have no argument. I couldn't cheat if I wanted to; and if I wanted to, Mr Ben Fuller wouldn't let me do it in this theatre. I'm prepared to answer for him, and to leave myself, to the public. But I want to say, too, that I always take pleasure in these tests because of the class of young fellows they bring about me. I believe that clean athletics are. as good for the morals as they are for the body. I get a lot of interesting conversation and entertainment, and a lot of thoughtful kindness, while I work, and I daresay that helps me through." ■I admit cheerfully that I have found good reason to admire this quietly genial man of the sixty-two hours' record. As to records in general I remain a little dubious. I wrote a longish story for the 1906 Christmas Annual of the Otago Witness—wrote and re-wrote and typed it—in thirty-seven hours without a break. Then I felt stupidly tired and surly, as I realised that I could probably have done the thing much better in thirty-seven weeks. Once, too, I transcribed shorthand notes for twenty-five hours at a stretch; and that was a horror. On the whole, I decide that it •is better to dp things quietly and. slowly, in an atmosphere, of decent calm. That, I'think, is how one should take exercise. I am no lover of football and cricket, because these things entail wordy meetings conspiracies of committees, and end in a crowd on a glaring or drenching field, with blatant men smoking bad tobacco under one's nose, and a growing sad conviction that life (after all) is probably not worth living. But dumbbells and clubs are good. You get out of bed in the morning, comfortably sleepy, and at • peace with all the world. You grasp your clubs and do gentle battle with that sweet inertia. Gradually a pleasant warmth invades you, as though your open window there come the twitterings of birds and the sounds of a distant world at work. Your relaxed muscles are braced up, and you become pleasantly conscious of your orderly nerves and sinews. You think of breakfast with a - growing pleasure, as the deliberate motion lulls you to forgive your enemies. Then, when you are dewy with perspiration, you tumble into a bath of cool sweet water just dashed with benzoin. Your whole system is deliciously rasped 'by the , searching shower. You are glad to> be alive. You eat with thankfulness, as your newspaper tells you of the disasters out there in the world that on the whole is very good to you. And so you set forth to the city, eager to do or dare, to succour or to slay. The return of Mr Hislop by an overwhelming majority proves many things. It proves, first of all, the undoubted popularity of Mr Hislop. as Mayor with the citizens of Wel-! lington that take the trouble to vote at mayoral elections; and it proves, that, with that class, Mr Hislop is unquestionably more popular than Mr Aitken. It proves that in any electoral fight the man who takes the gloves off has best chance of winning. It proves that no party can afford tn sink an issue. Mr Hislop's party did not sink the prohibition issue. Anti-prohibitionists voted for Mr Hislop. Prohibitionists sank the issue and voted both ways, and some did not trouble to vote at all. Mr Hislop's return proves also that an unpopular politician is at best a bad supporter. Mr F. M. B. Fisher's attacks on Mr Hislop did Mr Aitken's cause inestimable harm. Had almost any other man been critic, his criticisms would have, carried weight. When Mr Fisher criticises, the mob yells "Voucher!":—and there is an end of it. The support of the New Zealand Times did Mr Hislop a lot of good, and it is probable that quite a lot of people" were surprised to see how much force a fighting editor may carry. The new editor of The, Times fights with a boyish buoyancy and vim that is always either shocking or delightful.

TREAT IT PROPERLY. x Coughs weaken the lungs, lower the vitality and pave the way for consumption. Pneumonia always results from a cold, or from an attack of influenza. Give every cold the attention it deserves; treat it promptly and properly. What should you do? There is but one answer. Take Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. It always cures. For sale by J. Benning, Blenheim, and W. Syms, Picton. *