BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIV, Issue 100, 2 May 1899, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

Com anap throughout tba qplooy. Cold toeMB and damp nosaa. The first ioe of the season this morning. There will now be a ruih for the lemon squeeaerfl, sugar crushers, and hot water, etc— •specially the ato. Kate Kelly, sister of the onoe notorious bushranger, is the wife of a Perth horse* dealer. Heavy southerly weather m Wellington yesterday blooked several of the steamers. Mr Maurios B. Denniaton has retired from the position of judge's associate to his father, His Honor, andiß studying dentistry m Gbristohuroh. Mr W. D. Mainland is judge's assooiate. The mercury at Bealy at 9 a.m. was down to 30. Enough to make yonr teath chatter, It is said that a certain Nelson olergyman missed a nioe fat fee the other day, because his ohuroh would not reoognise marriage with a deceased wife's sißter. An expert says the diamond jewelry pre« sented to Mra MoKenzie, wife of the Minis« ter of Lands, at Falmerston reoently was worth between £800 and £900. A slump m the prioe of beds this winter. A prominent townsman waß driving round town yesterday with bis oarriage plaoarded " Double beds, 135." Some praotioal joker bad evidently been having the loan of the oarriage. Jaok Frost left his mark m the gardens this morning. Heliotrope, dahlias, oosmcea, zinnias, eto. —the " trail of the serpent is over them all 1" A. Fioton lady baa experienced a great disappointment. She had a lovely 'mum, whioh she waß quite sure would take first prize. She tended it oarefully, watered it judioiously, and gathered it m before the rain oould spoil iU perfection. She put it m a dark room, and th6te it remained for a whole week. This morning she went to tend it for the last time. But, alas for the speoimen whioh waß to oarry off the prize, the mice bad carried off every petal, leaving tha cantre about the size of a penny I '"Tie an ill wind that blows nobody good." There's a obanoe for Blenheim now. . The opinion was expressed at the National Oounoil of Women that the raising of the offioe of justioe of the peaoe to the gpßition it ought to oooupy should be the first duty of the colony. Judge— You say the defendant iurnad and whistled to the dog, What followed ? Intelligent witness— The dog. At New Plymouth the other day Judge Oonolly stated that drink was responsible for half the oases whioh oame before a judge. Lawyer— Then I understand you to swear, witness, that the parties oame to high words ? Witness— No, sir; wot I say i«, the wotda was particularly low. What with 10 per oent to Adams, and one-third of the balance to horse owners, and a possible necessity to bribe jookeya and trainers, a man ib almost as badly off m drawing a horae as if be hadn't had the luak. I'd sooner put my money m a Chinese lottery.— Orange Leader. It is proposed to form a Oounoil, uniting together all the Nonconformist ohurobes of New Zealand, for the purpose of taking common aotion against sooial evils. The Samoans, like the Boers, claim biblioal authority for nearly everything they do. When asked why they practised decapitation of their enemies, they floored their m terrogator by replying, " Didn't David out off Goliath's bead ?" " What answer did the quarter-master make to the charge that he had fed the regiment for an entire week on nothing bat sawdust?" "Why, he said that he ha* always understood that sawdust was very fine board." An artist m oils down at Te Aroha has thrown Michael Angelo completely into the shade. He executed on oil painting of some wheat, and stuok it m a looal shop window for exhibition. Its realism is said to have tempted a stray locust, which eventually found its way m and attempted to eat it down. Whan captured, the looust had almost knooked itself out of time m ita frantio efforts to extract the wheat from the husks. Next I There is a peeler m Hobart who is bound to rise quickly m the " force." Ha has just given the publio a signal example of that devotion to duty whioh distinguishes this branoh of the publio servioe. A man had fallen over the wharf, and this particular bobby ran top speed to the soena of the accident. The unfortunate wight, who was struggling m the water, had been down twioe, and the oonatable, leaning over the edge of the pier, and at considerable risk to himself, shouted, "Before you go down again, what's your full name and address ?" Eawana Ranfutly reoently paid a quiet visit to the Auokland Bowling Green, but when the period for refreshments arrived, the festive board was found to present quite a "rekerky" appearanoe, and the only tipple peroeptible was champagne. The Governor passed that aristooratio beverage. He said it waß not one of bis weaknesses, but if the olub had any good whitky on band— well, be wouldn't refuse a modest Preabyterian. Then the oigars were produoed—a superfine brand procured at a oost of ninepenoe eaoh— to do honor to the titled gueßt. Again Banfurly displayed his homely tastes. If the olub didn't mind, he would let thoße ninepenny Havanaa alone, and take a pull at bis plebeian sweet-draw-ing day. It was more satisfying. Somebody discoursing upon the credulity of shareholders, illustrated bis idea by the following little anecdote : " The Old Gentleman himself oame up from below to interview the well-known Booley. ' I want you,' said he, to come down with me and float an unlimited Hades company 1' Hooley, always ready to do business, complied with the request, and was shown over the nether regions by one who knew them well. Hooley was rather taken with the prospeot submitted to him, and Baid, ' It will do, this is the finest burning -up plant I've Btruok yet, but who are these men hung up on hooks V •Oh I' replied the Old Gentleman, 'They are your shareholders, they are too green to burn yet !" \