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Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2293, 5 January 1900, Page 3

An Equal Division of Labour.— Policeman (to loiterer): 'Now, then, phwat are ye doin' here ?' Loiterer: ' What are you doing here ?' Policeman : Don't look at me in that tone of voice. Can't ye see phwat I'm doing 1 I'm doing me dooty. Loiterer: ' And can't you aee I'm makiu' ther dooty fer yer to do P.' Policeman (indignant at being spoken to in that fashion): ' Move on wid ye now. I got yer aet, I know yer step; move on, or I'll lock yer up under the .Vagabond Act, so I will.'

'Hallo, Bill, old cobber I 'Ow did yer get dewn ? What sort of a journey had yer?' . ' Rippin', old pal. Second<«laaa carriage, third-class ticket, company.'

Mr. Fainwed: 'Then yon refute to marry me ?, Mrs. Mainchance: ' For the present I must. My husband ia in good health, and we are the beat of friends. I will: keep your address, and if a vacancy' should occur, I will drop you a line.' ,

Mrs. Oadabout: ' What sort of a person ia Mra. Mi ldm an, who .has moved into the next house toryou ?' Mrs. Chaffer : ' I.don't think much of her. Between you and me, I think ahe ia next to an idiot.'

Mra. Oadabout (innocently): ' I think ao, too, my dear.'

Miss Antique (taking politely proffered •eat in crowded railway carriage): 'I thank you rery much, my little man. You have been taught to be polite, I am glad to iee. Did your mother tell you to always give up your seat to ladies?' Polite Boy : 'No, mum, not all ladies, only old 'una.' * ,

Tommy (in tears): * Ma, Fred Cole spoiled my new hat 1' Tommy's Mother: ' The naughty boy I What made him do it! Did you do anything to him? 4 No, ma, nothing. I was jabbin' my hat at his head for fun, an' he didn't dodge.

The Rider the Sufferer.—Walker: 'Er—when you run into a man the rider is as likely to get the worst of it as the pedestrian, isn't he ?' Wheeler: 'Quite right! The last fellow 'I ran into lost two front teeth, while I had four apokes broken and my aprocket wrenched all out of time.'

A country editor, speaking of a concert-singer, says that her voice ia delicious, pure aa moonlight, and as tender aa a two shillinK shirt.

An Infallible Teat.—The man who wrote veraes at twenty and cau read them at forty without feeling ashamed of himself is either an aaa of a poet.

An amateur punster informa ua that some houses have wings,„and he JkM often seen a houae fly. Kf thoutrht tio part of a house save tha chimney